Trouble sleeping since very young age

Hello everyone,

I'm currently off the benzos for a little more than a week now, I did a 1½ week taper after about 5 weeks of using everyday. This has been an ongoing process, being on benzos and then off benzos, the cycle keeps repeating. I feel like I don't have withdrawal symptoms right now.

If you want to know more about me and my background story, you can read it in this topic: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=259543.msg3281911#msg3281911

My biggest problem, why I always struggle to stay of the benzos for a longer period, is my insomnia. I have this since I was a child, having nightmares a lot and just being restless while in bed. Using benzos (even the benzos that are not designed for better sleeping, like diazepam) improves my sleep a lot. It makes me relaxed and sleepy so I can fall asleep at a normal time, without nightmares, and without waking up whole the time, so I get my required amount of sleep.

Of course I don't want to keep using benzos because I know in the long term it's no good, so that's why I'm here. I want to find something else that can make me feel sleepy and relaxed at the appropriate times, so I can have a normal night of 6 to 8 hours of sleep without having nightmares whole the time.

The things I already do, is keeping an eye on the "sleep hygiene", and I use the following supplements in order to try to stay mentally healthy/relaxed:

CBD-oil

Valerian root tea

L-theanine

Ashwagandha KSM-66

Omega-3 fish oil

I have used melatonine and tried magnesium (different kinds) before going to bed as well.

Any advice? Anything in the form of supplements, medicine, or just general advice (beside the standard well known sleep hygiene) is very welcome.

Thanks!

Sorry for your sleep woes.

Even 5 weeks of use can create Benzo-induced insomnia and unfortuantely, not much short of another drug is going to touch that. 

You can pretty much throw sleep hygiene and supplements out the window if your current insomnia is being caused by Benzo WD?

There are no tricks, potions, pills, OTC supplements or "magic spells" that help with Benzo-induced insomnia.  Time is the healer

If you've struggled with sleep since you were young, then it might be difficult to determine what is "normal" for you and what is "Benzo-induced?"

Pehaps, in the future, you could try something non-Benzo or Z-drug when you go through a rough patch of sleep?

Seroquel or Mirtazepine seem to work for many in lower doses?

Sleep hygiene might work some if you have the "normal" garden variety insomnia not caused from coming off of Benzos?

What's your history?  How long have you been having sleep issues and how many times have you cycled on and off of Benzos?

That information would help others in giving you advice.

Good luck!

Hey ThEwAy2,

Thanks for your reply! I know about the benzo withdrawal, that's why I thought it was relevant to mention that I don't feel any withdrawal symptoms at the moment.

I've been hooked to benzos badly (with noticable withdrawal symptoms) three times in my life, the last time was approximately 2 years ago. Since then I really try to avoid using benzos every day for a prolonged time. Usually in the weeks that I took them, I took maximum 3 days a week. Now my most recent relapse, this every day use for 5 weeks, is an exception for me. But luckily I feel that I came off without any withdrawal symptoms.

The insomnia has been there from a very young age, and started to be a serious problem when I was 12. I didn't start to use benzos until I was in my early twenties, and I didn't have my first benzo withdrawal until a few years later.

So the insomnia is really nothing new to me, I remember the days (or better said: nights) before I discovered benzos, sometimes I had a lot of things on my mind and I had to get up early, and then I literally slept 0 hours a night. It was killing me, especially when I had multiple nights like that in a row.

Having said that, I don't want to keep using benzos of course, I want to fall asleep and sleep well in a more natural way. It is especially frustrating that when I know I have to get up early and my alarmclock is set, that just this idea is enough to make me not fall asleep at all.

I tried Mirtazepine once, unfortunately it just made me feel really miserable, and no sleep improvement.

I hope this answers your questions!

Thanks for the information....

Many people have some success by simply writing down (on a piece of paper with a pencil or pen) a list of what they have to do the next day so their

mind doesn't race all night thinking about what you need to do.

I never had that problem.  Racing thoughts never kept me awake.  I'd just get to a certain point and then know I wasn't going to get any sleep so I went

down the Benzo road as well.  Luckily for me, I never had any sleep issues until I was 52.

Sorry you've had it insomnia from such an early age.  I would seriously consider CBT-i (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Insomnia) as that is supposed to be 80% effective for

most people and without taking Benzos or other drugs to assist with sleep?  Your results may vary, but it's worth a try?

Anything that helps you sleep without taking something (even OTC) is a win in the long run. 

Normally I would not recommend sleep restriction or CBT-i, but it appears that your insomnia is not caused by stopping Benzos?

Sleep hygiene, CBT-i, Sleep restriction, etc. are fairly effective against "regular" insomnia not caused by coming off of Benzos.

Of course, if you see a sleep doctor or psychiatrist, they will almost always want you on something.  Trazodone, Mirtazapine, etc...then they graduate you to Benzos

Your insomnia seems more lifestyle and stress related?

Good luck!

Hey ThEwAy2,

Sorry for the late reply, haven't been to the forum since last Monday.

Writing stuff down makes a small difference indeed, I agree. But for me it's more this idea that the alarm clock will go off early. This makes me go to bed with an already stressed fealing, like "I have to fall asleep now because the alarm clock will go in "x" hours".

I recognize what you say as well, I've had nights were I felt pretty calm, but I just couldn't catch sleep. You said you went down the benzo road as well. Were you able to find an alternative for that, that worked for you?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Insomnia doesn't sound like a bad plan! The only thing is, that seems like something you need a specialised therapist for, right? Currently, were I live, the waiting lists for all the therapists are crazy, half a year is pretty normal.

Is there also something you would recommend that you can do yourself? Without the help of a therapist

Right now I don't really care about using over the counter stuff to be honest, I agree with you that it's best to do without, but I can't miss out on too much sleep.

I don't think my insomnia is caused by stopping benzos no, because I always had this. As I get older life seems to get more complicated so that brings more stress for me.

And I definitely think my insomnia is stress related indeed... The non-stop nightmares are crazy, I had way less nightmares as well in periods of my life when I was more relaxed.