Short term Ativan user needs help

Hello fellow buddies!

I have registered on this site because I suspect I am Kindling from Ativan and zopiclone withdrawal. My doctors say impossible, but my intuition is that that is what is happening to me. For almost 15 years I took Zopiclone on and off. Mostly off I would say.  I never had trouble falling asleep but would always wake up around 3 am and sometimes not be able to get back to sleep. I would take 3.75 mg of zopiclone and sleep until 7:30 and feel great. I didn't usually take it more than 3 nights in a row. I never had trouble stopping them and I could be off for months or even years before I'd take them again. For the last few years I starting taking 2.5 mg on the nights I couldn't get back to sleep because I am now over 60. I didn't take any for all of 2019 and restarted at 2.5 mg in June of 2020 again not every night. In February of this year I had a memory of a traumatic experience I had when I was 16 years old. For some reason this made my insomnia worse and I couldn't stay asleep for more than an hour or two. Zopiclone even at 7.5 mg was not keeping me asleep. I would wake up with a start and with anxiety after a few hours. My doctor prescribed Ativan 1 mg before bed. I knew of the potential of dependence and the trouble with withdrawal. So I thought that taking them for a week would be safe. I stopped Zopiclone when I started the Ativan. After 1 week I stoped and tried sleeping without any pills at all. I had severe anxiety for about 3 days and could not stay asleep long enough so after 1 week off I restarted the Ativan 1 mg every 2 days for about 5 weeks. In all I took 24 1 mg pills. I stopped cold turkey on April 26 with my doctor's blessing. She said I hadn't been on it long enough to cause bad withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety was as bad or worse than the first time I stopped a few weeks before but I figured it would stop soon. I was of course unable to sleep and the anxiety was unbearable. My doctor prescribed Seroquel and Trazodone for sleep and anxiety. I have been taking 25 mg of Seroquel and 50 mg of Trazodone for 5 weeks before bed and manage to sleep 5 hours. But the anxiety continues to be an intense issue. I now have a migraine headache that reaches an intensity of 9.5/10 in the afternoon. I am completely debilitated. I cannot be in any situation that is stimulating. I do not go out. I do not see friends or family. At first my doctor and I thought these symptoms were caused by the memory of the traumatic event and I have gotten 2 Ketamine treatments for the anxiety. My doctor now says I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder and that I need to go on an SSRI if the Ketamine doesn't work. I have been undergoing psychotherapy for months as well. I am starting to suspect that maybe this hell I'm going through is not due to the trauma at all but kindling from the benzo withdrawal. If anyone has any advice for me I would very much appreciate it. I am very grateful to be here and wish everyone good luck with their recovery.

xox

Hello Ativan Warrior, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I am so glad you found us!  We have found that even short-term users of benzos can have feel the effects of withdrawl so you aren't alone.  I hope that by joining this community and gathering some support here, you will feel begin to feel better.  You can reach out to others who stopped cold turkey on this board:

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal

As disheartening as it is, insomnia is a common withdrawl problem.  You will find good information and support on this board:

Insomnia

Look around, get settled in and reach our when you are ready.  Let us know how we can help you,

Again, welcome,

Kate