The last post.

This success story is a long time coming: 3 years or 1,127 days or 270,048 hours, depending how you need to look at it.

 

I could sit here and recount my hell-horror story, but you can find all that in the blog and progress log if you feel so inclined. Suffice to say, I sleep, so that's that. Tbh, this isn't even my first "success" story, but I'm 99%, 99% of the time, so I think I'm good now.

 

I'm going to close this chapter of my life then, with some things I learned from the whole experience:

 

• This forum is a double-edged sword. I used to spend my entire day here. That was both a comfort and a curse. Put another way, I'm grateful to the BB community, but I'm glad I'm gone.
   
  
• Time is the great healer. Recovery from benzo's is like Satan's hangover, and all you can do is wait it out. There are things you can try doing to soften the ordeal, but at the end of the day, you have to gut it out.
   
  
• Supplements are a scam; magic cures don't exist. I've been cleaning out the bottles from under my sink: L-tyrosine, NAC, Jia Xei Xiao Yao Wan, GABA, pro-biotics, Holy Basil, L-theanine, and on. None of these things did anything to relieve my suffering. I spent $100s on this crap so you don't have to. The only thing that actually ever seemed to help? Vitamin C, but you should probably take that anyway.
   
  
• I'm back to essentially who I was before, and that's not necessarily a great thing. Like the old Queensryche song goes: I remember now. I'm a good person, I know that, but I'm also a condescending jerk and selfish and judgmental af. Because of this, I'm going to therapy with the intention of finally stamping out those qualities and replacing them with good ones instead. The point is, now that I've recovered, the real work begins.
   
  
• It all comes down to sleep. The worst thing was the insomnia (tinnitus only made it worse). I firmly believe now that sleep is a gift from God, and I will never take it for granted again.
   
  
• I wouldn't do this again, even knowing what I know now. The jury is still out on whether the price was worth the payoff, whatever that is. In any event, if I could go back in time and tell my original prescribing doctor to shove it ...
   
  
• Keep going. This isn't a new revelation. It's been my core belief from day 1. The only way out is through, so don't stop, don't hesitate, don't question your progress. Just. Keep. Going.
  

 

As you might have surmised, this is my last post on BB (I know, I go almost 1 year between posts, and who am I anyway?) I just felt like I needed some closure. I meant to knock this out on anniversary number 3, but things happened.

 

Good luck to anyone still suffering. Fear not, it does eventually get better and you will get there.

 

Success story (take 1): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=164913.msg2198640#msg2198640

Progress log: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151527.0

Buddy blog: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=160382.0

 

 

Hi! Did remeron help you during this process?

Congratulations, Blandthrax!  You make some very good points. 

Congratulations Blandthrax, I've followed your log off and on over the past couple years. I'm glad to hear you can sleep now. Do you still have tinnitus? I'm over two years off and mine is still bad enough to keep me up at night.

Thank you! God bless you!

Some sound points, Blanthrax.

 

Enjoy your free life!

 

Ss24

Congrats to you on making it through!

 

Is your sleep really back to what it was pre-Benzos? I am still waiting for that day...

Blandthrax!

 

I'm glad to see you posted your real success story!  You might remember, but we were getting off around the same time and I remember your posts and your wisdom, as well as your struggles.

 

Take care of yourself and good luck out there!!!

 

Eric