Anxiety about age and feeling "old"

Ive became rather obsessed about my age and feeling old and that life is slipping away from me. This might make some sense if I were say 80, but Im 37 and prior to withdrawal never considered myself "old", but now I do. Its a highly anxiety producing thought, I start thinking that the best years are behind me, obsessively compare my age to others and often drive myself into having a panic attack over it. I know this is irrational, I know Im not "old", but I feel it and for some reason cant push the thought out of my head. Is this a common benzo symptom?? I often feel like Im going a little mad with all this strange thoughts in my head, I was never like this before.

I think irrational fears are very common in benzo withdrawal, and also intrusive thoughts that just don't shut up. They instead balloon way out of proportion and make us very anxious and fearful. I read something about the hippocampus having a lot to do with intrusive thoughts. You'll find that they fade away in time. Part of the reason why they haunt us is because so many weird and scary things are happening to the body. It's the first time, for probably most of us, that we've experienced such an alien and strange world, like the Twilight Zone. We start thinking that this is forever. But it won't be. I used to look in the mirror and was sure I was at least 100 years old. I had DP. I no longer think that, but I remember feeling that the person looking back in the mirror had to be someone else. It was eerie.

 

You're young, and you have many wonderful years ahead of you. Even if you don't see it now, you'll see it in the future. Those thoughts are just a bunch of hogwash like most of the other benzos thoughts.

I feel the same way. During acute withdrawals, I had intense feelings that I was about to die. At one point, my heart started pounding and I had weird tunnel vision. I thought I was dying. It was terrifying. I still feel like I'm kinda on my way out (even though I know I'm not) because my body and mind don't feel anything like they did before taking Ativan.

 

I feel old when I think that I'll never get better. Like I'm just going to get worse and worse until I die just like if I were 80. But that's not what's going to happen now. I'm a kinda young guy who has tons of living to do who is going to heal up. And so will you.

 

Once you're healed, you'll feel 27 again and all the many years you have left to live will be that much sweeter after going through this hell. 37 is young!

Just wanted to reassure everyone that this seems to be a 'normal' benzo fear. I've read so many threads on here discussing the overwhelming feeling of being or looking old/much older. Even those in their early twenties have reported this, right up to seventies and beyond. The good news is, it always goes away! It's just one more way that benzos mess with your head...

 

Here's just one example (there are many!): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=183419.0

 

I hope this comforts you a little!

I can't say this is exactly from withdrawal, but I'm going through a similar process. I'm close to my 30's and starting to have those thoughts about my 20's, which for the most part have been spent in withdrawal/post withdrawal. There's a lot of things I didn't do as a "typical" adult in their 20's, nor is my life exactly where I want it to be as I approach 30, but I know that all this worry about my age is kinda a normal process of living, at least for me. I guess it's okay to look back to see what you haven't accomplished, but not so great to constantly beat yourself down about it.

 

I'm sure this, like many of things in withdrawal, will leave eventually. I understand the distress though. Have you thought about seeing a therapist (someone who won't prescribe you medication, unless you want that) to work through how you're feeling?

I really hope this fear is purely benzo withdrawal, I suspect it is as I didn’t have it before and it seems to disappear during my blessed windows. I wish there was a way to push these intrusive thoughts out of my head, I’m yet to find one. I’ve tried meditation, rationalising, distraction but they always creep back in. Maybe therapy would help, my concentration and memory are so bad right now I’d seriously be worried that I’d just forget everything they say when I leave their office. I could try though.