12 Months Benzo Free!!!

Hi,

 

  I hope that I can spread some hope for someone deep in the throes of benzo withdrawal.

 

  I am 12 months benzo free today!!! I took 0.5mg of clonazepam (klonipin) for an inner ear problem for 18 months. 1 month into it, I started having bizarre symptoms, which my doctors did not realize was related to clonazepam. Several months later I ended up in the ER and nobody there could figure it out either. Months and months of bizarre, almost disabling symptoms occurred. And I felt like I would pass out every day too. No doctor could determine my problem. Life was hard. Then, I realized I needed to get off the clonazepam. I took a half-dose for a month and then jumped off (a bit fast BTW, I do not reccommend coming off that fast! I did not know about BenzoBuddies then.)

 

  It was a challenging time and I wasn't sure that I would live through it. I worried that my babies would not have a Mom. But I did live through it! Every day got better. Windows eventually came, then they got longer. And then longer. And eventually I felt pretty good most of the time, with some windows of bad. Now I am almost normal. And I know the rest will come. I will be all the way better again!

 

  It felt like it would never end. That I would always feel so bad. That there was something else wrong with me. But it was all just the withdrawal. Things are better for me and they will get better for you too. There are many success stories and you will be one of them there too. Have hope because you will be better. You will be better!

 

Here are a couple of things that really helped me and I hope they may help you too:

 

1. Support of know that things will be ok eventually and that I am doing a good job. Don't try this alone!

 

2. Walking -- a really big help!

 

3. Leaning on my Faith. Especially this scripture which just came to my inbox today. "Be still and know I am God." Psalm 46:10 And "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Every time I really prayed to God that I believed He would heal me, I made big progress. Maybe not the same day, but soon. I failed alot in my faith that God would heal me. I failed over and over. But when I could make it happen, then things would get better. And of course, this faith is much easier to have now, although I do struggle.

 

I am usually very private and quiet about my faith. It is rare for me before now to quote Scripture. It feel strange for me to share this part, but I must in hopes that it will help someone else. God helped me through this process. I am much closer to Him now. Whenever I could force myself to have more faith, I felt better. Maybe not the same day, but soon. Leaning on my faith in Jesus helped a great deal. I also thought about this from Luke 8:42-49 when the woman who was bleeding and could not be helped by doctors, she believed that if she could only touch his  cloak, she could be healed.

 

  As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. 43And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,[d] but no one could heal her. 44She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

 

45"Who touched me?" Jesus asked.

      When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."

 

46But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."

 

47Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

 

  One day a few weeks ago, I prayed deeply and quietly to God that I believed that he could heal me and that he would in his own perfect timing. A few days later,  when I was having particularly bad symptoms I prayed again quietly while I kept doing my daily chores, then I felt an itching sensation deep in my bones, where I have trembled almost constantly for a year. A few minutes later, the itching was gone and so were much of my symptoms. I still have symptoms, but there are not so constant. I know that God healed me significantly in that time. He did!

 

  I am no "Jesus Freak," just a quiet, plain Methodist. Jesus brought healing to me in his perfect time. And I believe that he can for you too.

 

4. Reading success statements from the Ashton Manual

"There is absolutely no evidence that benzodiazepines cause permanent damage to the brain, nervous system or body."

"Whatever your symptoms, it is best not to dwell on them. Symptoms are just symptoms after all and most of them in withdrawal are not signs of illness but signals of recovery."

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm

 

or from BenzoBuddies.org

http://www.benzobuddies.org/benzodiazepine-information

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/

 

  Good luck everyone! You can do this!!! You will be feeling better again!

 

 

Hugs,

Janet

 

 

Thank you for posting about your success as well as giving some background about your journey.  So many people believe that somehow they will be different and won't heal.  Posts like yours can be very encouraging.

 

Congratulations on your new life.   

Congratulations on your year off benzos.  Sounds like it's been tough, we can all understand that.  But you did it and with such a positive attitude you could never fail.  Well done you.

 

I'm six months off now and still not "normal".  I never have a day where I feel completely well, but I get windows most days and I take them and run with them.  A few months ago there were no windows and I too thought that there was no end to the nightmare.  I take inspiration from people who post success stories and know that I too am well on the way.  Not quite ready yet to post my success store but I know I'm getting close.  I have one success story already though and that is not adding any more of this poison to my body - that's a good feeling.

 

2. Walking -- a really big help!

Walking is so under-rated.  I walk everyday now and feel deprived if my day doesn't allow me to get out.

 

Thank you for your inspirational post.  

 

 

Congratulations on your healing and thank you for posting.        Reading success stories give me hope that I will one day be "normal" again.

 

Thank you for coming back and sharing   

We need more success stories such as this; they are worth more than gold.  Benzo withdrawal hurts and that's the reality of it...but complete benzo recovery is a reality as well.  We need more of this hope so that we can be encouraged on this journey of unpredictibility, doubt, and anguish.  At the end of this horrendous journey is much hope and much success if we hold fast - you and others are a testiment to this!  Thank you for your success story...the certainty of healing is their if we persevere.  Thank you for staying the course!

Thanks for posting this Janet, and congratulations! 

This was so nice to read!

I am 5 months off today and not even 1/2 ready to write my success story yet. Lots of healing needs to happen first.

My emotions have been quite shut down for months now but your story brought tears to my eyes and I just wanted to say "Thank you!"

Blessings to you and your "new" life living free from benzo's!

Think I need to go pray now! 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!! Congradulations on your success!!

I have been benzo free for over 2 months now. Still am dealing with w/d. Most of it is manageable, although it can be anoying at times.

Thank you so much for the scripture passages that helped you!! I too am devoted to this faith and it has been a real boost for me in my quest to free myself from this drug!

I have been a part of our church's music ministry, and the opportunity to lead the congregation in prayer has really helped to lift my spirits especially when times seemed tough!

Wishing you an abundance of blessings in life!!

pangelingua