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Symptoms at 5 mos off


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My symptoms are different and I'm not sure how to deal with them. Every day I awaken, I'm just off in my head-nothing feels or looks the same no matter what I do which only breeds more fear. I believe this is dp/dr I'm dealing. Anyway, that feeling keeps me pasted to the couch all day out of fear. I have the bouts of mental agitation that drive me to want to cut away my skin-it's that bad. Then, the hysterical crying and neuropathy throughout the body, the internal shaking and anxiety. I have a burning/metallic tasting tongue which is oh so fun..I've noticed too that my symptoms have changed some in that I used to get 8 hours a night of sleep early in w/d; now, getting only 5...I awaken at the same time every morning and to the same song...This is so maddening...Anyway, this is where I am at 5 mos...no better and worried.
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hey HTC,

 

I am only a mere 22 days off Ativan.  I find it amazing how I still have physical symptoms that  keep coming up.  When I first stopped I had a spot near my mouth that felt like wet water on it and cold.  That went away after a day or two.  Then it would come back closer to my chin.  Then it went away for 7 days or so.  Just 2 days ago I started getting the same wet/cold sensation on a larger portion on the other side of my mouth.  A larger portion that goes from cheek down to top of my chin.  I still have a litttttle bit of the shaky hands/fingers when I hold them out.  I sometimes get head pressure at random times during the day.

 

All of this is from being on a small amount of Ativan and not being on it very long.  It's maddening and puzzling!  Oh and the other day I had the weird taste in mouth and almost a slight tingle on my tongue.  There is definitely no rhyme or reason as to when the symptoms come for me.  The rational side of me finds it hard to believe this is still the Ativan post-withdrawal but I'm pretty sure that's the case.  All tests come back clean as a whistle.

 

You're not alone.

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  • 5 weeks later...
I'm still tapering but i have hysterical crying episodes daily. They are the worst. So draining. Makes me feel so fatigued and unlike myself. You are absolutely not alone.
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I had major metallic taste in my mouth for the first 4 weeks.  it has gone away but every once in a while resurfaces.

 

i have the internal shaking.  i'm 47 days off.  just the last 3 days i've had urges to cry.  and fits of anger where i've just taken my hands and punched my mattress as hard as i could to try to alleviate it.  i am/was a passive, quiet, patient, low key kind of person. this is all truly bizarre. 

 

it is hard to hear at 5 months you are still experiencing these things..... i just keep praying somehow i will be lucky and spared a longer WD.  i guess we all try to find the blessings in our situations.  at least you were sleeping and still are getting some sleep.  i barely slept at all the first month.  then had a good week of 4 hours a night that felt like a miracle and then lost it again.  no doubt we each have 2-3 symptoms we'd give anything to have go away and take on something else if we could.    the unrelenting tachycardia is tough.  all the things that used to provide stress relief have the opposite effect.  its a different world right now.  i just keep re-reading the success stories and tell myself we will all cross that finish line and will feel so happy to have real life back.  i want to be able to trust the thoughts in my head and what i see when i look around.  never knew the mind could do this ...... and certainly warning everyone i know to never take a benzo no matter how bad they think things are.  wish i had done my home work before my spine surgery and never taken it afterwards. 

 

i will pray you start to turn the corner soon - so many say around 6 months a lot can improve depending on your length of use and amount of use, etc., 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
[87...]
Thank you newgrl and SSR1975....I hope you both get some relief; found out that I have candida which was making the metal taste in my mouth....ugh
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Hi hardtocope, You made it 5 months--that's a huge accomplishment! I don't have any great advice, but just wanted to encourage you to keep going. As long as you keep going, you will be OK. Hugs to you  :smitten:
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Oh my goodness, I didn't realize your post was from July! 7 months is even better! Are you seeing any improvements? This process is so slow, but hope things are getting more tolerable for you...
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[87...]
Thank you teegirl...no, no real improvements; think it's b/c my symptoms are overlapping with candida which is horrible....hard to treat without making w/d symptoms a million times worse.
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[87...]
Hi Hope; was wondering how you were...I developed like a burning tongue that grew into a sore throat/inability to swallow...went to doctor and he discovered I have thrush...It has been a nightmare b/c it mimics with w/d symptoms...To kill the yeast, you have to use strong things that produce die off symptoms...I have been so sick..
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I'm so sorry! Had 6 seizures was in the hospital for 7 weeks. Hope I'm on the upswing. This is all so scary! I hope you're doing a little better?
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[87...]
You sound like you're better HOPE....that's good...I'm 7 months off and no better; I think it's the candida...so hard to treat it without having equal torture to benzo w/d.
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[87...]
I'm not really sure Hope...I've tried the antifungals..and they amp me up...make me nuttier...and so sick...They give die off symptoms that emit toxins...just what I needed on top of the withdrawal...makes me out of my head...so hard to treat.
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Hi HTC, I'm so sorry to hear that you have thrush. That in and of itself is a nightmare. I got is from antibiotics (vincomiacin drip) following an infection I got during surgery. Before I knew what happened it was in my mouth, intestines stomach, and well everwhere. It felt like razors all the way through making it impossible to chew or sit without intense pain so I understand. They probably prescribed Nystatin, I'm sorry it makes other symptoms worse, I swished, gargled and swallowed for several weeks and used topical Nystatin for the yeast infection, drank green smoothies for 2 months, they were the only nutrition in me and I felt they helped to alkalize my body. I know everything is a whole new story while suffering in withdrawal. I have a feeling you are probably already eating well and I know you are smart and probably already avoiding sugar. I really hope you feel better soon. Love
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[87...]
Thank you lovewins...I'm actually worse off than I've ever been; no appetite at all and mental symptoms are horrendous...I pray to survive this..The die-off is a whole new level of benzo hell....
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Yes, it is terrible. Up until withdrawal that was the worst medical crisis in my life. I remember when I joined BB Jackie Brown was dealing with thrush. Maybe you could message her and she what helped her get through it. It is so painful and a host of other problems come with it, I too had not appetite, but started with the green smoothies to avoid be sent back to the hospital and that ended up helping me turn a bit of a corner. My prayers are with you.
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