Success Story: Gabapentin Withdrawal

Hi everyone! This post is regarding my success story about recovering from Gabapentin withdrawal. I used to be a regular at benzowithdrawal.com and had posted regularly throughout, unfortunately that site went down and with that my story disappeared from the internet. I think my story is so important to anyone who is going through withdrawal that I decided to rewrite it in brief and post it on every forum I can find.

 

Long story short: I was a really happy person (I realized in hindsight), and started taking gabapentin regularly (voluntarily, without any prescription because I thought it would improve my sleep!). 4 months into it I started having extreme bouts of anxiety and depression, something I had never felt in my life before. I went off gabapentin cold-turkey (Jan 2009), and my life plunged into the depths of hell. I only had 2 symptoms - anxiety and depression, but they were INCREDIBLY EXTREME and debilitating - had to quit college and move in with my parents. It took a LONG LONG time to recover, even though I was on it just for 4 months. It’s been 5.5 years at this point, and can probably say it took 4 years to say I was out of it. But now, I feel STRONGER than ever before, and VERY HAPPY! I am here to tell you that recovery is real - happens unbelievably slowly but surely.

 

Now for the long story:

 

As I mentioned, I was a very happy person before I got into this (something I realized only in hindsight). So I think I’m a great case study as I had ZERO symptoms before. My friend who is a neurologist and I used to take all kinds of “smart drugs” that we thought would improve our lives and soon that hobby led us into taking gabapentin to enhance our slow-wave sleep. Little did I know this stupid little hobby would lead to the worst years of my life.

 

4-6 months of taking it regularly and I started to have bouts of extreme anxiety and depression, while I was still on it. I was very very confused. I didn’t even know what was causing it. I knew something was horribly wrong. I was in college about to finish my 3rd semester - had to drop a couple of classes and even skipped one final. I decided to quit cold-turkey. I took the next semester off and go back home to live with my parents and focus on recovering. I was still incredibly confused, and it actually took me around 2 months to find benzo withdrawal forums and realize that there are others like me out there. Gabapentin is not a benzo, but is very similar at least in the withdrawal symptoms.

 

I know that people have all kinds of issues during withdrawal, but I had only 2 (some would call it 1) issues - extreme depression and extreme anxiety. I would wake up every morning and just cry and cry and cry… Everything in my life was actually great, but I would wake up feeling worse than what I imagine one would feel if they found their whole family had died. My confidence was so low that I was just living in self-hatred, at least for the first 4 months or so. I would react extremely weirdly to tiny remarks and episodes and just completely freak out or burst out crying. It was so extremely bad. And before this all my life I had been an extraordinarily happy person - I was incredibly engaged throughout school and was elected to leadership positions in 3 different contexts - I was actually the most productive, confident and engaged person!

 

Initially, I would keep drawing lines thinking that okay, this should all be gone by 6 months. When that didn’t happen I thought 1 year and it should be it. I kept drawing such lines but to be very honest, it probably took 4 years for me to be COMPLETELY back to normal. Because I was impatient I made some bad decisions - I actually went back to college 6 months into withdrawal, and had such an extremely horrible time that I had to quit again after somehow pushing through the semester. Only around the 1 year mark did I even begin to think slightly clearly and was able to take the hard decision of going back to home and spending the next 2 years there just to recover.

 

Exercise was probably the only thing that helped during the recovery. Everything else backfired - caffeine, even meditation.

 

Well, it’s been 5.5 years and now I feel GREAT! Trust me, when you’re through, you come back SO MUCH STRONGER. I look back and there was actually so much I learned from the experience. I used to be quite arrogant and egotistical given I had always been on top of the social ladder… I’m a changed man now - a much nicer, much more helpful, perceptive and down to earth person. I have gained so much perspective on how the mind works, and so much empathy for people who are in negative states of mind. I feel that I have the wisdom of an old man now that I’ve been through so much and seen the world in different ways.

 

Now, I feel incredibly excited about life and all the strong drives I had before are back. I want to achieve many great things in my life and want to change the world. I am back to my motivated, driven and dream-big self

 

I know what I went through will be by far the worst experience of my life - nothing can make me feel as bad, nothing. I feel that the attitude and perspective I developed has actually helped me become a much more mature and a much stronger person.

 

YOU CAN DO IT. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

 

All the withdrawal symptoms you are feeling will go away, I promise. It can be excruciatingly long at times but recovery is inevitable.

 

Happy to answer any questions. Hang in there my brothers and sisters.

Brilliant and well written story.

 

I cant believe that Gabapentin (Lyrica) done this to you, my GP keeps wanting me to take it as im 17 months 24 days out from 4.2 months of benzo use and I am still in hell, so far ive declined but cant say ive not been tempted many times when I was drowning..

 

Your story albeit now a success story has shocked me to the core, thank you for writing that with an enclosed warning..

 

I love the happy ending and love the way you say the real You before is coming back albeit a better and more empathetic New You.

 

Well done and may you have a wonderful life from here on, I cant wait to join You and escape this HELL...

 

Best Wishes

 

Woofs

Wow!  What a tale of tragedy!  Sorry you had to experience this!  Thank you for this post.  I was so very close to being started on Gabapentin to avoid much of the Xanax withdrawal symptom you would not believe it.  It was pretty much given to me in exchange for my Xanax script.  Luckily I was able to find a doc willing to get me started on a Klonopin taper.  I am so glad that I didn't do the Gabapentin....  I can see now how it would have been the  BIGGEST WRONG thing to do! 

Wow Thistoo,

 

Thanks for coming back and sharing your story.

I am glad I did not take any Gabapentin...It is another one of the go-to drugs for WD...Obviously switching one drug for another has consequences.

I am sorry this happened to you, but glad that you made a 100% recovery.

 

I wish nothing but good health and happiness.

 

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

 

Much love and continued healing,

Causing

Congratulations on your full recovery!  It's always encouraging to hear.

 

It's so strange how this drug affects people.  I've had 2 ct's off gabapentin and didn't have a single withdrawal symptom.  I took it for migraines and decided to quit since it didn't work very well.

 

For what it's worth, gabapentin is regarded by life insurance actuaries as extremely dangerous. I got table rated on my policy because of it, even though my medical tests came back perfect. Because of that drug, I'm paying life insurance rates of an obese, diabetic smoker, even though I am none of those.

 

Stay away from this drug.

 

Once again, congratulations!

Zmt, that is very interesting regarding the Gabapentin and how it is noted by the actuaries.  Obviously it must be no secret these GABA affecting meds have dire consequences if the ins companies are cutting their loss by penalizing users of these chemicals.  That information should be listed right along with the side effects!  ...and yet these meds are pumped out regardless and without much serious patient education on the risks.  Criminal! 

Thank you so much for all the good wishes. My heart will always be with people who are recovering from the hell that these substances can create. Nobody should ever have to go through this.

 

Yes, drugs work very differently on different people, and we are all probably a minority. But if it can do this to even 5% of the people, is it worth risking all the good things in life? These drugs should really not be around.

I agree completely.  All psych meds should be illegal.

 

But I don't want to pull focus off your success. I am very happy for you.  Congratulations on toughing it out!

 

Thank you so much for all the good wishes. My heart will always be with people who are recovering from the hell that these substances can create. Nobody should ever have to go through this.

 

Yes, drugs work very differently on different people, and we are all probably a minority. But if it can do this to even 5% of the people, is it worth risking all the good things in life? These drugs should really not be around.