~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[Buddie]]

Hello all,

I figured we needed a group like this here. I had been bedridden a lot during the last 25% of my taper. Now at almost 2 months out I am more sick than ever and find my self on my back 80% of the time day in and day out.

I have literally had to crawl to the washroom at times, it's been hell.

I can certainly describe my symptoms further.


Anyone care to share there symptoms and story?


 



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[[Buddie]]

[...]...so sorry you are at such a low. I follow the 1-6 months off support group and the '2 month ' slam is a very common song. So many of us who are somewhere in the 2-4 month out zone are having tough time with acute w/d. I am experiencing crushing dark....really dark depression ( I had this kind of depression in between divided doses of ativan). The end taper and first 5/6 weeks of recovery was encouraging and then I got slammed hard. The depression lasts from one day to the next.
. .On the upside my sleep and most of my physical s/x are at least 50% better...consistantly.
..I think the only thing we can do is support each other and get through it one day at a time. I am giving it until June ( that will be my 6 month off anniversary(..It just has to bewtter by then I try to remember the windows I had in the first month...I too am in bed again more than I want to be.
....Wishing you a better day tomorrow,[...]...keep going we 'LLC get there [...]

[[Buddie]]

[...],

Nice to see you posting here. I'm wondering if you are on a SSRI ?  Although I'm anti drug I know the danger of depression. To me depression is the most "dangerous" symptom besides the obvious(seizures etc), it can be so powerful it can take control over ones normal thinking and actions. I have hit the dark place various times during my taper and several times since jumping including today. I don't want to post what the "dark place" means but feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss anything. I find it nice to have someone there to relate with. I'm interested in knowing how you deal with the situation when you hit a "dark place". For me it's about planning ahead of time because by the time I'm in a bad state it's too late to have thought about certain per cautious. Feel better! 

 


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[[Buddie]]

Great idea [...]!

There is nothing more telling about the severity of one's withdrawal than being bedridden.  As far as symptoms go, I would consider my horrible withdrawal to be the exception, not the rule.  But we shall see.   

 

[[Buddie]]

Thanks Juliea,

I thought this belonged here as well.  It's more permanent, and we will have easier access. 

 

[[Buddie]]

I did not see the section for "Support Groups", I'm glad to see it in there!

[...], sorry to hear your WD is so horrible. May you heal soon!! 

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...],

I'm so happy you started this thread, as I have felt so alone since I came to BB since I have been bedridden.  I was bedridden since about last June during tapering.  I was never able to stabilize.  I have often felt I was the only one bedridden.  In the past month I'm not sure if it is windows, or I just said," enough is enough," of being in the bed, and I have pushed myself to get up even though I don't feel like it.  I have been able to drive and go to the store on some days, mostly because I have no choice.  I also feel alone because my symptoms are more physical, and it seems the majority of stories I read for someone this far out are struggling more with anxiety and or  depression.

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[[Buddie]]

[...]...that k you..I have not yet considered antidepressants. I never ...ever want to take another psycho drug. Ativan was my first and only experience with psych meds ..never again. When I say 'dark depression " I am not referencing suicide. I could not do that to my family ( although I now have a much better understanding of how serious depression can become). I had such good progress and sunbreaks and windows during the first 6 weeks off...I have to believe I will make it...I am at the very least not throwing in the towel until June ( my 6 month off anniversary).
During this weewk of depression I have been telling myself that I will go one more day and if it isn't better I will take a rescue dose...so far I have made it one day at a time. I am not suggesting this to anyone..at this point it is just a mental strategy to get from one day to the next. The depression seems to lift a little towards evening. Also, like mamma I am forcing myself to do some things..that helps Yesterday was the only day I felt like I just couldn't get up at all, but I had to at least take my dog out. My depression loops around dark themes of regret.  grief.  guilt..a feeling that I should be thinking about the meaning of life....When the depression lifts all those thoughts are gone ..strangely , when the depression lifts I can't really remember the depression or the dark thoughts. So weird. When the depression hits I can't really remember the window or my 'normal ' outlook on life...which before ativan was really positive and energetic. What a mess my mind is...I thought mid-taper was going to be the worst of it.I was so wrong. ..this is just like mid-taper without the 'next ' dosebin 5 hours....
...We will get there. if we can get out of bed. Thank you for starting this thread I think there are. many of in recovery who have waves that put us back in bed...feel better [...].. there are many of us supporting you. from our pillows quilts and cable TV...cooper

[[Buddie]]

Mamma2...you are not alone...we are all here for you. Many of us are struggling to get of bed. I am inspired by your resolve to get up when you don't feel like it and don't feel well. I hopeyou come on BBs as much as you need to through recovery. You are going to get through Mamma.
....Wishing you a better tomorrow....[...]

[[Buddie]]

[...], I'm sorry to hear of your problems... I'm very interested in what your exact symptoms are as I too suffer from a lot of physical symptoms. Although anxiety/panic can be an issue for me the physical stuff is what keeps me in bed most of the time. To think of it the anxiety would not exist if it were not for the physical symptoms causing it all.  Nice to hear you have had the opportunity to leave the house, pushing our selves is key although on bad days I can push all I want, I just can not sit up.

Cooper, Thank you for the support!  I don't blame you for not wanting to touch another Psych med, I certainly will not. I only mentioned the SSRI in the event you were suicidal, in which case an SSRI is better than "going away". I'm currently on a low dose of an SSRI, not by choice but I have been on them for 10 years also and need to cut that out after my Benzo recovery.

I'm fortunate to have BB on my phone so I can lay down and post, I'm actually sitting up at my computer right now but this wave is pulling me back down.. When I'm bad I can't even watch a movie or Tv, my brain turns in to Jello.

Hope everyone keeps posting!!!



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