Illness/Antibiotic caused terrible flare- so discouraged

Reaching out is so hard for me.  Because of the effects of this terrible journey I find it really hard to talk about things. But I am so discouraged. I'm 66 , live alone and like many have had to figure this out by myself. I gave up looking for a doctor that gets it. Most think I'm nuts and my dtrs. try to understand, but unless you've lived it I just don't think it's possible to understand how long it can go on.

I have been benzo free since April 2013 (9 months) and though it has been a miserable trip, filled with every crazy sx imaginable, it was  not as bad as some have had. I have not been sx free in the last few months, but was definitely getting better every day with only the the occasional wave. Between reading this website and trusting my gut - I really believe that I am now dealing with a terrible flare caused by illness and really need feedback. 

On Christmas eve I came down with the worst case of respiratory flu I have ever had (and I had the flu shot  ). I was so sick that I couldn't even get to the doctor and finally went on New Year's Eve. She diagnosed me with acute bronchitis and put me on Augmentin (which I'm not sure I needed). Since then the bronchitis/flu has almost gone away, but I believe that either the flu or the meds or both is causing the worst flare I have had since I started this trip. Every awful symptom imaginable: almost constant anxiety, vertigo, tinnitus, stomach cramping, nausea, burning muscles and cramps, chills, body so heavy I could hardly walk, absolute total depression. I haven't had these kinds of symptoms in months. I have to work and haven't been able to since flu started. It's not a very understanding workplace and I could loose my job over this.  Has anyone had reaction to antibiotics/flu like this? Just really need some encouraging feedback.  Sometimes it's so hard to do this alone.

Hi blubrd5,

I am sorry you are going through this. I was prescribed Augmentin 3(!) times during my withdrawal,and i had flu twice during my withdrawal. So i can tell that Augmentin didnt cause anything bad for me while flu DID both times. I would say it lasted about 2 weeks slowly improving,so you must feel better soon! Viruses like Flu act on CNS,certain antibiotics also do,( like fluroquinolones) Augmentin is not as far as i know but i read some people had a reaction on it in withdrawal.Anyway hang in there,it will improve soon! 

Hi Bluebrd,

I do think our CNS is just sensitive and we react exponentially to things. I also think it's time that heals these flares. If you're like me, when it happens, you start questioning what you did differently or wrong to make it happen. I always look at my diet with a microscope. I mean if I happened to have a new or seldom eaten food right before symptoms flare, I avoid that food for a while. Who knows if it was the food but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing something.

I think you'll be ok (relatively) once some more time goes by. The trick is to get through these next few days. It's good you reached out. This forum and the people here are just so wonderful to empathize and offer suggestions. There are few things on earth like the relief of being heard and understood.

You have my empathy and deep respect for going through this alone. I have found it so difficult and I have an incredibly supportive husband. I'm not even sure I could do it alone. Anyone who does is made of strong stuff. You are probably in the top 5% of strong people on this planet if you are working and making your own way while in this torment. Hats off to you.

I read this thing not long ago...

"Heros are just ordinary people who were brave 5 minutes longer"

This applies to you but add months instead of 5 minutes.

I hope you find some relief very soon . In the meantime, rest, eat well, distract, try to let your CNS recharge and heal. And keep talking. It helps! 

Flip

blubrd5,

I have tried an antibiotic cream twice called muprocin. Not good. Everything you describe happened to me and I only put a little cream on. CNS very sensitive right now. Hang in there.

fg

Thank you to each person that has responded.  It can be so hard to do this alone. If it wasn't for having this site to come to when it gets really bad, I don't think I would have made it this far.  I am amazed at the dedication and professionalism of Colin and the others that started and maintain this site.  It's so sad that we have to go through this, but at least we have benzobuddies.org to turn to. I'm going to try to continue to post and respond to others as part of my healing.

Fliprain: I appreciate the kind words - when I have a window of sanity, I am able to see how far I've come and how strong I've had to be to do this.  Unfortunately when I'm in the midst of a flare with severe anxiety, I can't imagine how I'll make it.

Julianas: Thanks for the thoughts on Augmentin.  I'm going to try and finish the course, unless it continues to get worse. Though I'm not sure I really needed them, I'm 1/2 way through so will see how it goes.

Dear Blubrd

I'm sorry I can't answer your questions but I just want to give support because this is an incredibly hard and scary process and we do need each other to lean on when things are tough.

I think the fact that you were getting better is a good sign, and that although you have had a setback, it's not a relapse and it won't be long before things start to improve again.

Parker,

Thank you so much for the thoughts and the chicken soup info. I ran across your post "Listen to me- We are ALL going to make it." for the first time this week and have saved it to read whenever I crash.  I will definitely make some soup for tomorrow, I have some chicken breasts in the freezer, will probably use them. Not quit the same, but it's supposed to be bitterly cold here tonight and tomorrow and given my bronchitis - I don't think I'm going to venture out.

I think what make this experience so hard to understand is that we not only have a CNS system that has become ultra-sensitive, but that sometimes when it does get turned on, it can't be turned off as quickly.  It seems to be like an overstimulated 2 year old - just goes wild and bounces off the walls even after the stimulus is gone and has no idea how to calm itself down.

I listen to books on tape when I can't sleep and I recently heard a great quote about dealing with rough times. "Whenever I find myself in the cellar of affliction, I look around for the wine."  I am trying to do that.  I'm trying to use it to see if I need to make some changes in my life - take better care of myself, no matter what it costs.