6 MONTHS OFF - wtf is happening?

I'm almost exactly at 6 months benzo-free today. Feels good in a way. But I think I've gotten worse in many ways...

 

About a few days ago, I developed derealization. VERY intense. Feels like I'm walking through a dream. I can't remember anything. Throughout the day, the word 'disconnected' pops up in my head. I don't feel a part of this world, of the human race, of society. I fear I won't be able to reintegrate after being so removed, stuck in a constant acid trip.

 

The weird thing is that I developed it about a week ago. Before that, I read about dp/dr, but didnt really know what it meant. I felt bad for those who had it, but felt like I dodged a bullet. I started taking an SSRI antidepressant, Citalopram, at the start of the month. Antidepressants take about 3 weeks to kick in. The dp/dr started EXACTLY 3 weeks after I started taking Citalopram...

 

Could the a/d be causing it? Or is it coincidence? I don't know how long I can go on like this. I really thought things would clear up at least to a certain extent by 6 months. this is so brutal.

Citalopram (Celexa) sent me into a horrible anxious place within a few days and I had to stop taking it.  Three weeks is about the time for the start-up to kick in so you may be on to something.  Hard to say.

 

As far as developing new symptoms that didn't happen in withdrawal, I also had some new symptoms come up long after I became benzo free.  Very disturbing at the time but they've now all gone.

 

What are your options as far as the Citalopram?  Must you keep taking it?

 

Challis

What is the citalopram for? I see some people here take other stuff to help mask the w/d symptoms. Sometimes it works, other times our bodies are so screwed up and sensitive it can make things worse. When you're in benzo w/d it's hard to tell what is what. Adding more drugs to the mix make it nearly impossible to separate which is causing what symptoms. I've had pretty heavy DR the whole 9 months, it sucks. Had it very mild before I ever took a benzo, now it's overwhelming and disabling. Thank god this will all end one day and we'll probably be dancing in the streets like lunatics when that time comes. Take care!

I'm almost exactly at 6 months benzo-free today. Feels good in a way. But I think I've gotten worse in many ways...

 

About a few days ago, I developed derealization. VERY intense. Feels like I'm walking through a dream. I can't remember anything. Throughout the day, the word 'disconnected' pops up in my head. I don't feel a part of this world, of the human race, of society. I fear I won't be able to reintegrate after being so removed, stuck in a constant acid trip.

 

The weird thing is that I developed it about a week ago. Before that, I read about dp/dr, but didnt really know what it meant. I felt bad for those who had it, but felt like I dodged a bullet. I started taking an SSRI antidepressant, Citalopram, at the start of the month. Antidepressants take about 3 weeks to kick in. The dp/dr started EXACTLY 3 weeks after I started taking Citalopram...

 

Could the a/d be causing it? Or is it coincidence? I don't know how long I can go on like this. I really thought things would clear up at least to a certain extent by 6 months. this is so brutal.

 

From past experience it is higly likely the uptake of citalopram! Horrible stuff. I stopped using it after 3 weeks for this very reason.

Citalopram (Celexa) sent me into a horrible anxious place within a few days and I had to stop taking it.  Three weeks is about the time for the start-up to kick in so you may be on to something.  Hard to say.

 

As far as developing new symptoms that didn't happen in withdrawal, I also had some new symptoms come up long after I became benzo free.  Very disturbing at the time but they've now all gone.

 

What are your options as far as the Citalopram?  Must you keep taking it?

 

Challis

 

I don't have to take it, but it does help, side-effects notwithstanding. It pretty much eliminates the fatigue I have, mitigates depression and social anxiety... things have changed a bit though, my mind is less clear now. don't really know. might just wait it out. i hope it doesnt get worse

I was given Citalopram for anxiety I had over minor surgery a couple of years ago.  It caused such a negative reaction that it forced me to take Ativan to calm me down.

 

It could very well be that the Citalopram is causing your new symptoms.  Also one of the big downsides of taking an SSRI is that it can take as much as two months to "kick in" if your lucky enough for it to make you feel better and is likely to greatly increase anxiety during that time.  They seem to work for some people and not others.

 

 

I was given Citalopram for anxiety I had over minor surgery a couple of years ago.  It caused such a negative reaction that it forced me to take Ativan to calm me down.

 

It could very well be that the Citalopram is causing your new symptoms.  Also one of the big downsides of taking an SSRI is that it can take as much as two months to "kick in" if your lucky enough for it to make you feel better and is likely to greatly increase anxiety during that time.  They seem to work for some people and not others.

 

The thing is that the citalopram gave me some start-up anxiety for maybe the first few days, but it went away shortly after... in fact, until a few days ago, i noticed that it was helping my anxiety. im aware that derealization and anxiety often go hand in hand, but in this case they seem to be two different, unrelated phenomena...

Hi JC, I know every one is different when it comes to psych. med. Citalopram (Cipralex) was my introduction to the world of psych. med. I knew something was terribly wrong after my first pill. Right away, I had severe DR, then came the anxiety and panic attack. The doctor told me they will all go away in a few weeks and life  would be wonderful again. I had no idea what I was getting into. You can read the rest of the hell in my signature.

My opinion is that your DR is the result of the antidepressant you are on.

 

Ed C

Ed C

 

Last time around I was smart enough to realize something was terribly wrong after I had an adverse reaction to the Lexapro. I went to another psychiatrist who first wanted to up the dosage and then told me that Lexapro was not working and I should try Cymbalta.  I decided I did not want to be a guinea pig and luckily met up with my clinical psychologist who told me to get off the Lexapro and not take drugs at all.  The Lexapro withdrawal was quite severe and lasted several months during which time I continued to take Ativan.  Thing is that my body is so sensitive to medication that I was taking 0.50 mgs of Ativan for six months spaced in doses of 0.25 mgs a day and it worked for me.  My psychologist told me to quit it cold turkey and I did with minimal withdrawal symptoms.

 

But the second time around I blew it. Wish I had read benzo buddies before taking the stuff for a second time.

Hi JC, I know every one is different when it comes to psych. med. Citalopram (Cipralex) was my introduction to the world of psych. med. I knew something was terribly wrong after my first pill. Right away, I had severe DR, then came the anxiety and panic attack. The doctor told me they will all go away in a few weeks and life  would be wonderful again. I had no idea what I was getting into. You can read the rest of the hell in my signature.

My opinion is that your DR is the result of the antidepressant you are on.

 

Ed C

 

perhaps. it's hard to say. the thing is, i've been on SSRI's many times before. over the years, i have been on and off Lexapro, Effexor, Pristiq, Zoloft, etc. for months at a time. i never really had any intolerable side effects. only now am i having (supposedly) a bad reaction to it. perhaps my nervous system is vulnerable to it because changes brought by benzo w/d?

 

im puzzled.

Did any of the SSRIs really help you?

At the time, yes. My problem with them? 1) never stayed on them long enough (3-4 months at a time, when it takes at least a year  for anxiety/depression to go away) and 2)smoking heavy amounts of weed and binge drinking while taking them, which made me manic and suicidal....

 

went on benzos later because i thought they weren't working... looking back they worked great. i could actually talk to people, i felt good. but i was really just looking for an instant fix. clonazepam provided that to me... got hooked instantly, 2 years later here I am, having hit rock bottom and losing everything.

 

 

JUST realized I've been taking an allergy medication, Allegra D (fexofenadine and pseudoephedrine), at the exact same time I started getting dp/dr... anyone know of allergy meds triggering dp/dr or brain fog?

yeah, been having dp/dr since christmas, which is when i started taking the Allegra... pseudoephedrine, as it turns out, is a cousin of speed, and can trigger anxiety like symptoms in those who are prone to it... i maybe be on to something here..

At the time, yes. My problem with them? 1) never stayed on them long enough (3-4 months at a time, when it takes at least a year  for anxiety/depression to go away) and 2)smoking heavy amounts of weed and binge drinking while taking them, which made me manic and suicidal....

 

went on benzos later because i thought they weren't working... looking back they worked great. i could actually talk to people, i felt good. but i was really just looking for an instant fix. clonazepam provided that to me... got hooked instantly, 2 years later here I am, having hit rock bottom and losing everything.

I don't understand why you are introducing drugs such as SSRIs, weed and alcohol back into your life after being Valium free.

At the time, yes. My problem with them? 1) never stayed on them long enough (3-4 months at a time, when it takes at least a year  for anxiety/depression to go away) and 2)smoking heavy amounts of weed and binge drinking while taking them, which made me manic and suicidal....

 

went on benzos later because i thought they weren't working... looking back they worked great. i could actually talk to people, i felt good. but i was really just looking for an instant fix. clonazepam provided that to me... got hooked instantly, 2 years later here I am, having hit rock bottom and losing everything.

I don't understand why you are introducing drugs such as SSRIs, weed and alcohol back into your life after being Valium free.

 

maybe i didnt make that clear... i was smoking weed and drinking while i was on ssris ages ago, not in benzo w/d... i havent used since i was on benzos, which was a long time ago... as for ssris, im taking them for the depression i have. i have to admit, it is working for that...

 

however i am going to stop taking the cold medicine that ive been popping twice a day for a week now... i googled 'allegra d and depersonalization'. some interesting results came up. to be honest, i think it is the culprit.

 

i've been taking 240mg pseudoephedrine a day for about a week. some people take half that amount to get 'high' and dissociate (aka. experience dp/dr!)... it is a type of amphetamine (i.e stimulant)... we all know how bad it is to take stims during benzo w/d.

 

i'll stop taking it and see how i feel in a few days. ill keep yall posted.

JC I'm still taking citalopram and have asked myself your same question. ADs can rev up withdrawal symptoms. For this reason Ashton recommends going extremely slow in ramping them up. Much slower than what is recommended for "normal" situations. Ashton specifically says to increase dosage at the smallest possible increment and hold for a couple weeks at a time.

 

From previous discussions with you I believe you said that you went from 0-20 mg citalopram in a few days. I'm not a doctor but IMO that's far too quick. I've personally taken two months to go from 0-10 mg of the same med.

 

In my early stage of withdrawal I had the same issue with remeron and Luvox. My doc ramped me up wayyyy too quick and I suffered.

 

So in some regards you may be correct in that the citalopram may be causing you issues. But it may just be the rate that you ramped up.

 

FYI, month six was tough for me too. Your heavy DR could also just be your withdrawal stage. Give it another month and things will improve.

 

I wish you all the best!

I only experienced DR while on Remeron 15mg- as I cut the AD it went away. My guess is its the AD. Remeron did take away depression, anxiety, helped me in many ways during acute wd- BUT it's very disturbing to feel that detached feeling. Could you lessen the dose?

UPDATE: I stopped taking the cold medicine that I was popping daily for a week. Within one day, my dp/dr has disappeared almost completely. It contained pseudoephedrine, which is basically speed. Stimulants can provoke dp/dr in some people... word of caution: be careful of taking certain allergy/cold medicines during benzo w/d. tis the season for sinus problems, and unfortunately most decongestants contain some kind of stimulant

 

fortunately, the citalopram i'm taking is not provoking any dp/dr whatsoever. if anything it is helping.

I also had a hard time right at six months. In some ways it was not that much different than being in acute w/d, those horrible first few weeks, especially the return of d/p and d/r! However, it slowly passed and as I hit seven months I was feeling really good. I'm now at seven months and one week, and things are still going good for me.

 

Hang in there. You will get better!