Anyone had a panic attack at the christmas dinner ?

I knew that gonna happen. I explained what was going on with the withdrawal and my family understands it.

But its still sooooo emberrasing . talking like a uber nervous shy kid.

I had some fears before my addiction but not the fear of talking to people  (only on bus and trains)

I cried after dinner..

I'm sorry eden,

 

I am missing my family Christmas dinner right now.  I'm way to ill to attend.  :'(

 

Hugs

^^Ditto.

At least we have each other.  I can't imagine what people went through without the internet. 

Yes , If I had no internet I went 100% insane and ended on a rope in month 3 of my wd

Yep

Flip side is I think the internet made me more insane. I wouldnt know all the diseases I could have if it didnt exist. Less to worry about.

Don't worry about diseases,  just focus on your taper and healing.

Up to new year. My first new year party in 6 years home alone.

Cant wait for al the texts I will get on my phone

'where are you? whats wrong '  And the sound of fireworks.. all those happiness.

I'm happy when all this shit is over.

im not looking forward to christmas dinner,..

I have all these people semi-aware of whats going on for me that are suggesting I stop eating root vegetables and use a rebounder because thats what they saw on dr. oz.

it'll be over soon, just hard when i have a 7 yr old that is so excited ad im trying not to be so negative all the time

 

I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it.  So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow...  It wont be as bad as I anticipate!

 

Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations.  My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories.  At least I am building new ones.

 

For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you.  I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true:  It will get better!

 

Happy holidays to all of you!  Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times.  I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site!

I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it.  So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow...  It wont be as bad as I anticipate!

 

Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations.  My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories.  At least I am building new ones.

 

For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you.  I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true:  It will get better!

 

Happy holidays to all of you!  Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times.  I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site!

 

I'm horrible at the anticipation.  I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight.  I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon.  I was seriously ill with anxiety.  I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it.  All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. 

 

So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong.  The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking.  I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them.  So I quit obsessing and just showed up.

 

I actually enjoyed everything.  It was so nice. 

 

When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened.  I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions.

 

Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out.  This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM.

 

It keeps getting better.   

I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it.  So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow...  It wont be as bad as I anticipate!

 

Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations.  My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories.  At least I am building new ones.

 

For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you.  I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true:  It will get better!

 

Happy holidays to all of you!  Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times.  I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site!

 

I'm horrible at the anticipation.  I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight.  I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon.  I was seriously ill with anxiety.  I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it.  All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. 

 

So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong.  The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking.  I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them.  So I quit obsessing and just showed up.

 

I actually enjoyed everything.  It was so nice. 

 

When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened.  I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions.

 

Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out.  This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM.

 

It keeps getting better. 

 

Great post!  Looks like you handled it well.  I can relate and thanks for sharing how you handled the anticipation, good info there.

I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it.  So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow...  It wont be as bad as I anticipate!

 

Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations.  My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories.  At least I am building new ones.

 

For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you.  I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true:  It will get better!

 

Happy holidays to all of you!  Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times.  I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site!

 

I'm horrible at the anticipation.  I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight.  I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon.  I was seriously ill with anxiety.  I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it.  All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. 

 

So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong.  The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking.  I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them.  So I quit obsessing and just showed up.

 

I actually enjoyed everything.  It was so nice. 

 

When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened.  I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions.

 

Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out.  This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM.

 

It keeps getting better. 

 

Wow, what great coping skills you used there! I am going to follow your example.