[ed...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I knew that gonna happen. I explained what was going on with the withdrawal and my family understands it. But its still sooooo emberrasing . talking like a uber nervous shy kid. I had some fears before my addiction but not the fear of talking to people (only on bus and trains) I cried after dinner.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ba...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'm sorry eden, I am missing my family Christmas dinner right now. I'm way to ill to attend. :'( Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[On...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 ^^Ditto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ba...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 At least we have each other. I can't imagine what people went through without the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ed...] Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Yes , If I had no internet I went 100% insane and ended on a rope in month 3 of my wd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ba...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Yep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[On...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Flip side is I think the internet made me more insane. I wouldnt know all the diseases I could have if it didnt exist. Less to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ba...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Don't worry about diseases, just focus on your taper and healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ed...] Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Up to new year. My first new year party in 6 years home alone. Cant wait for al the texts I will get on my phone 'where are you? whats wrong ' And the sound of fireworks.. all those happiness. I'm happy when all this shit is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[so...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 im not looking forward to christmas dinner,.. I have all these people semi-aware of whats going on for me that are suggesting I stop eating root vegetables and use a rebounder because thats what they saw on dr. oz. it'll be over soon, just hard when i have a 7 yr old that is so excited ad im trying not to be so negative all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ju...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it. So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow... It wont be as bad as I anticipate! Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations. My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories. At least I am building new ones. For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you. I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true: It will get better! Happy holidays to all of you! Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times. I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Be...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it. So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow... It wont be as bad as I anticipate! Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations. My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories. At least I am building new ones. For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you. I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true: It will get better! Happy holidays to all of you! Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times. I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site! I'm horrible at the anticipation. I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight. I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon. I was seriously ill with anxiety. I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it. All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong. The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking. I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them. So I quit obsessing and just showed up. I actually enjoyed everything. It was so nice. When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened. I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions. Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out. This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM. It keeps getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ju...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it. So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow... It wont be as bad as I anticipate! Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations. My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories. At least I am building new ones. For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you. I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true: It will get better! Happy holidays to all of you! Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times. I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site! I'm horrible at the anticipation. I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight. I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon. I was seriously ill with anxiety. I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it. All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong. The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking. I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them. So I quit obsessing and just showed up. I actually enjoyed everything. It was so nice. When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened. I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions. Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out. This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM. It keeps getting better. Great post! Looks like you handled it well. I can relate and thanks for sharing how you handled the anticipation, good info there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[He...] Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I am super nervous about my xmas dinners I have to attend tomorrow, but I made it through tonights xmas eve celebration and the hardest part was the hours leading up to it. So thats the comforting thought I have for tomorrow... It wont be as bad as I anticipate! Also, its nice to know I will remember CLEARLY this years xmas celebrations. My benzo dose was seriously memory impairing and I feel robbed of so many memories. At least I am building new ones. For the people who are missing this years events and to the OP, I am sorry and totally understand you. I hate to use the most worn out phrase ever but it is soooo true: It will get better! Happy holidays to all of you! Thank you so much for all the support through my dark times. I never really post much but I DO read the heck out of this site! I'm horrible at the anticipation. I made myself ill this morning at work thinking about the gathering tonight. I was really mad at myself by the time I returned home from work at noon. I was seriously ill with anxiety. I was certain I wouldn't be able to make it. All kinds of dr/dp and panicky crap. So I sat down and wrote out what was wrong. The only things that were wrong was the way I was thinking. I realized after writing out the problems in my head that none of those things were going to come up, and even if they did, I could handle them. So I quit obsessing and just showed up. I actually enjoyed everything. It was so nice. When I was on benzos this couldn't have happened. I would have just taken a couple extra, had too much to drink and floated through everything with distorted memories and no real emotions. Last Christmas I was just glad I didn't freak out. This year I was able to totally enjoy everything and was gratefull for the special people who accept me as I AM. It keeps getting better. Wow, what great coping skills you used there! I am going to follow your example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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