The most dehumanizinf time of year

Everyone around me is listening to christmas music wrapping gifts, looking forward to tonight and tommorow. Doing christmasy stuff eating christmasy foods. I'm just sitting here, you know, surviving. Then having to explain to my grandma and evetyone in the family why i wont be artending christmas for the first time tomorrow. After missing thanksgiving. My christmas eve meal will be a sub, my christmas day meal a sub.

And my mom keeps begging me for an idea for a gift she can get me but theres nothing I can really use or do so Im the one telling her its ok i dont want anything. Im really not that upset, I feel like this is the price I gotta pay. The only thing that bugs me is my grandmas health is declining and I dunno if I'll get many more christmas's with her or my dad who almost passed last christmas.

I got a friend who just had a heart attack and is in a coma right now so I still feel pretty blessed. Anyways happy holidays

Just wanna hold your hand.......

And give you a big hug, next year wil be your Christmas!!!!!!!

Hang in there, you are not alone

Sandra.

OneLove, I am old enuf to be your Mom and I wish I could find some way to help you. 

I hope you are not alone.  Maybe if you just pretend its not Xmas and watch movies you like not related to it. 

Peace and Blessings

Snufi