help - feel like I'm dying, would taking a little extra give any relief?

I'm so desperate. All I want to know is people's experiences with taking a little bit more during their taper to relieve symptoms. Would this honestly set me back?

 

I'm down to just under 2mg of valium so I'm really close to the end of the taper, but I just don't know how to get through this. I can't stand up because I'm so dizzy and I can't eat because of nausea, I have the most excruciating head pain for hours at a time that it makes me sick, I panic constantly because I have never felt so physically ill in my whole life. I'm trembling and have this sense that I am literally going to die. My resting heartrate won't go below 140bpm at the moment, I did see the doctor about that and had all kinds of scans so it's 'safe' as it were (as long as it doesn't go on forever), just really horrible. I spend most of my time either lying on the floor or in bed.

 

I would do absolutely anything for some relief from this agony but I don't want to take, say, a 5mg if the temporary feeliing will only mean I have to go through this again in the future. Does taking a little bit now and then even relieve symptoms anyway?

This happened to me when I got down to 3 1/2 mgs. It seems the smaller the doses the harder it is. Personally , I think it's better to try to stick it out without updosing or rescue doses. I think our brain has a hard enough time .

        I'm sorry it's so hard. I really know how u feel. I was bedridden for months . But I'm up now and I am definitely better than I was! U will get better.        Hugs Pinkee 

I'm with you Aurora.  I'm so horribly sick, post taper.  But in no way am I going to take a rescue dose.  Not. Gonna. Happen.  Unfortunately, I keep seeing more and more people advocating the use of rescue doses, not to mention up dosing and reinstatement.  All of this poor advise does not bode well for people, such as you, who are on the fence.  You have committed so much time, why set yourself back?  We can get through this, Aurora. 

 

 

 

Pinkee,

 

I'm so so happy you are feeling better!  Horray!

 

Thx Baby! Lovely of u to say such kind words.    Hugs and I hope u feel much better very soon.  Pinkee 

Thankyou so much for the support guys, it's really appreciated. I think I know deep down it really is a bad idea, I guess I just wanted someone to reaffirm that. To agree that taking a rescue dose will not help in the long run. I wouldn't want to feel slightly better now only to have to go through this again, a brief moment of feeling better would not be worth it.

 

Glad you're no longer bed-ridden Pinkee, that's great news, and thanks babyrex. Hugs to you both.

 

It's sooooo slow in BB's right now. 

Hi Aurorafalling,

 

Now is the time to dig really deep and think about your goal of being benzo free. I know how bad you feel and no one should ever have to feel that sick and helpless. That said, if you increase your dose, you may or may not get some relief. But it will certainly extend your suffering. Please do not take more of this stuff.

 

Good luck on your taper !

 

Patrick 

I really do understand the psychological dangers of updosing and what that could mean long term for the vulnerable. But to be honest, I updosed two times, very judiciously, only a small amount when wd sxs spiraled out of control. Both small updoses effectively reduced the roaring wd sxs and after each updose (one mid taper, the other end of taper), I continued on my march downward in dose. My updosing strategy was to split the cut ~ in half. So lets say my drop was 0.06mg (lorazepam) and that sent me to hell, I would updose 0.02 or 0.03.

 

This strategy saved my ass and only extended my taper marginally. I sincerely believe that updosing has a proper role in a taper (e.g. for those of us who go too fast at times) and a liken it to taking one step back in order to move two steps forward. We just have to be strong and not keep taking more and more steps backwards. ONE step back. Two steps forward.

I wouldn't take any rescue doses.  I was doing that and going thru absolute HELL each time I did, and then I read a good post on here where someone explained how taking rescue doses only confused an already hurting CNS even more, and made the SXs worse.  I stopped doing the rescue doses and they were right.  I feel like shit all the time, but at least it's a predictable, steady shit.  Much better than the wide swings I was doing.

 

Lee