Jump to content

Paying for those good days.


[Cr...]

Recommended Posts

So I had a few beautiful weeks. I cut down again last Sunday and for the past few days I  am back in hell :(

My worst symptom - intrusive thoughts about dying. I feel very sad, paranoid and extremely unsure of myself.  I can't make a decision. I have to go to Toys R Us for last minute shopping but I'm terrified to leave my house. Why is this happening ? I am on half of .5mg as of last Sunday.  I am afraid something is really wrong, why am I not better I started this taper last year.

I  am in tears venting. I should of waited until after Christmas to cut again. But I felt so so good. Now it's gone. This is my first period since my drastic cut last month, could that be why I am so upset ? Please any advice, support I really need it. 

 

And on top of everything I have a husband who tells me " go back on your meds you need them " every chance he gets. I have no support no one understands but you people here. I feel so alone, I question  myself sometimes if all these symptoms are real.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am certainly no expert but it looks like you've been dropping large amounts of klonopin very quickly. Even though you waited a while before going down to half of .5 that is a drastic amount for your body to handle. The drop off with klonopin is especially hard because of it's half-life. What you are going through is HORRID but I think most all of us would be in a very bad way if we dropped that quickly. Don't beat yourself up for dropping before the holidays. I did the same thing and wound up in the exact same place as you. I had to go back and increase my Valium. It's still taking time to work but each day is a little bit better. Have you thought of crossing over to Valium? 

You will get through this!! It's just the drugs making you  feel terrified- I promise. Hang in there and I'm sure someone with more info will pop in with more advice :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Personally, I would reinstate to get through the holidays and then reevaluate the crossover to Valium if you are considering this after the first of the year after you have stabilized again for a good length of time.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ditto.

 

I would reinstate over the holidays, stabalize, then make the cross over to valium in the New Year. You're punishing yourself during a stressful holiday period. Betsy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with everyone, cutting too much at one time. Smaller cuts will help with the w/ds. They may still be there but you need to keep telling yourself it's w/ds and it will pass. Suggested rate to cut 10% every cut. Start from the dose you are on and cut 10%. It will take longer but well worth it. I'm almost done and went from cutting .0625 every 14 days to .0325 every ten days. Hang in there. I'm sorry your husband nor anyone else can be more supportive. It's hard on them. Keep posting here. We understand. It's a long and tiring road but you can do it. I know you can.

 

Positive affirmations, exercise (try running in place, that always helped to calm myself) and I would sing "it's a chemical reaction" just reaffirming myself it wasn't me, it's the drugs.

 

Stay strong.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo :smitten:

BT

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all so much ! I went to Toys R Us and felt so awful with neck pain , twitches, nausea I took a half of .5mg instead of a quarter. I had to,  I am taking the advice going back up to .5 mg until after the Holidays. I just want this klonopin nightmare over with. My doctor refuses to switch me to Valium her only suggestion was Lexapro. I tried that from August until October if anything I felt much worse. 

 

I am very frustrated at this point I'm finishing up my degree and my hope was to finish my taper over winter break. I realize that isn't going to happen. I hope by this time next year I will be done with this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...