Scared about the kindling effect

I look back on my benzo experience and realize I have come off of clonazepam on five different occasions. Three of these were cold turkey's, including a c/t after an overdose. My final taper was considered a 'rapid' taper by Ashton standards, and was from a reinstatement that went over the two-week window for reinstatement.

 

Kindling seems to be the most significant pattern amongst people having the hardest time here on BB. I realize that my first taper, though unpleasant, was actually relatively successful. Once I made the jump, I had a few problems, but they probably would have cleared up in a few weeks and I would have been normal by now. My addictive tendencies got a hold of me, so I ended up flooding my nervous system with more GABA and completely ruined the receptors.

 

Each subsequent withdrawal has been worse than the previous... at least in my first one, my mind was somewhat clear. Now my brain feels so fried that my IQ has actually decreased dramatically over these past few months...

 

Are there any success stories out there from people who did multiple c/t's or reinstatements? Most stories seem to be from people who only went off benzos once.

 

 

Yes, I qualify. Before I successfully tapered off in 2012 (a rapid taper), I did two previous withdrawals (taper in 2005 and a c/t/detox in 2009) after which I reinstated.  I'm fully healed now.

 

There's really no point in worrying about what you've done in the past.  You can't change any of that. Just concentrate on getting off benzos this time.  It's the only thing that matters.

 

 

 

Hey JC,

 

I C/T'd after about 4 weeks use in 1979 and went through a few weeks of mild symptoms.  I also did a rapid taper in 2009 and my doctor and I both assumed my awful w/d symptoms was my old anxiety and I reinstated.  Sure do wish he had known to tell me it was w/d.  I could have gotten off it then and saved myself a whole lot of misery.  I think my tolerance, emotional blunting and its associated consequences went off the charts when I reinstated. 

 

This time I tapered over three months and 10 months later I am not quite ready to write that success story but I am contemplating it as I am SSSSOOOOO much better then I was.  And much better then I was while on the klonopin.  I would not go back on that poison for love or money.

 

 

Stay Strong!

China

 

well not a success story yet. and although i am back in a pretty nasty wave, i am alive and healing up here. my story is too long to post here but if you want to read about someone doing many cold turkey's (about 12 c/t's in my life) along with lots of other meds you're welcome to read the first page of my blog--to really see what kindling is all about.

 

even if someone is kindling, they can still heal very well. yes, it's taking me some time again but i expected this. well, not exactly all the brain symptoms. i'm sure i will see much more improvement in the months to come. at least i'd better

Count me in.  I came off benzos at least three times before this last time, and yes, this is the onc where I am really feeling it.  It is possible that it would have been easier the first or second time if I knew what was going on, but we cannot change the past.  It is what it be, and all we can do is get and stay clean this time.

I'm with ya JC. I keep telling myself that this has to be my last attempt to get off these pills. If the next withdrawal is tougher, I'd never make it.....