What is it like when you come out of a really bad wave?

Do you go back to 'normal' or into a window?

I begin to realize slowly over several days that I'm back to feeling my normal baseline level of "crap". It's usually a relief. Might be coming out of a wave now but it's so hard to tell sometimes.

 

Is one ending for you? Take care!

I've been in a bad wave for 12 days....whew....and today doing much better. Typically, the waves had lasted 3-4 days, then a return to baseline for a long while until another wave came along. But for the past maybe 6 weeks or so, the waves and windows seem more intense. And more than once, in the middle of a particularly bad wave, I will get a flash of a window then back to the wave. They seem more erratic now - like I'm more sensitive.

 

How about you, Frus?

I've been in a bad wave for 12 days....whew....and today doing much better. Typically, the waves had lasted 3-4 days, then a return to baseline for a long while until another wave came along. But for the past maybe 6 weeks or so, the waves and windows seem more intense. And more than once, in the middle of a particularly bad wave, I will get a flash of a window then back to the wave. They seem more erratic now - like I'm more sensitive.

 

How about you, Frus?

 

Oh yes, I agree with this Rosa. Things seem to fluctuate quickly and erratically! Definitely feeling more sensitive to everything. Our bodies and minds are tying so hard to get everything back in tune and then one little thing throws it all out of whack again!

I've been in a wave for five weeks but the last ten days have been even worse. Somebody open a dam window!!!!

My doctor told me to expect getting waves and going back to just feeling crappy.  Everyone is different.  I've been in a wave for weeks.  Hopefully, you will get respite soon.  It does happen.

 

Hang in there.

I'm in one now, this one comes with a lot of depression, nervousness and anxious. It felt like I was starting to come out of one then the other night but didn't come out all the way then lastnight head got heavier and body and mind more nervous and anxious. Today is worse. When tapering it was like one long wave. The baselines changed each time. The last wave of taper was a couple months and left me more sensitive than before that wave.

Now after taper I've had two different really good days after a wave then back into a wave. I have noticed that I'm more there under the symptoms. So other than those two days, I feel more  sensitive and shaky all over.

Have you noticed you are more there under it all?

 

I'm just now beginning to come out of a wave that's been around for almost 3 weeks. My longest wave to date was from day 99 to days 121 or 122, so a bit over 3 weeks. I've had 'em last for as short as one day, but they tend to average 5-7 days.

 

I've found that I tend to wake up and find that I've been overwhelmed by a wash. It's always been unexpected. For me, the wave just very slowly eases up over a period of days, which is why I can't pinpoint exactly when my longest wave to date actually began to end. The same is true with this one, although it has been easing up now for 4-5 days and I'm still not out of it.

 

I agree with Innadaze in that once a wave has ended I go back to a baseline, which for me is also "crap" or "so-so." Windows are periods of clarity that seem to open up unexpectedly and often it takes me a while to realize that I'm in one. Sometimes they end abruptly, although lately it seems they disappear while I am asleep and I wake up either in a wave or back to just baseline "crap."

 

It's still pretty early for me. I'll hit seven months this coming Thursday. I wish I'd heal faster, but I have to remember that I used benzos daily for more than 15 years, so it's just going to take however long my brain needs...

 

I think that, to me, the thing that's hardest to deal with is the uncertainty of how I am going to feel from day to day. It's not as if I had a broken leg and could feel it getting better and better. I've been up, down, upside down, all around -- every which way. I've had days during month 6 when I felt I was as bad as I was back in acute. That's the torture -- the uncertainty of this oh-so-slow recovery...

 

 

I think that, to me, the thing that's hardest to deal with is the uncertainty of how I am going to feel from day to day. It's not as if I had a broken leg and could feel it getting better and better. I've been up, down, upside down, all around -- every which way. I've had days during month 6 when I felt I was as bad as I was back in acute. That's the torture -- the uncertainty of this oh-so-slow recovery...

 

This is true and I'm sure many feel this way. It's something that is hard for me to deal with too. I worry about my past benzo history and cold turkeys. I didn't know anything about these drugs and thought I was severely mentally ill. Now I know and its scary because I tapered this time and the whole time tapering was close to the ct's experience and I'm worried the taper was to long and also healing after previous ct's. The only thing we can do is think positive and practice patience.

Tex, when you've come out of a wave has your base line changed any for the better after any of them?   

Iwant2befree:

 

It does seem that each baseline IS higher than before. I'm afraid to even say that, for fear that it may jinx me. But, yeah, looking back over almost seven months I'd say my improvement is like one of those stock charts that show a company's slow but steady increase in value. It dips and then it climbs, then dips again, but over time the company's stock value slowly increases. I guess that's what I am. A company that is very, very slowly increasing in value. I have good days when my "value" soars, then I have bad days when my "value" plummets. Still, in the end, there is a slow, gradual upwards trend...

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

Hi Tex. I like the comparison  it is very good that you're noticing each baseline a little higher. I also know what you mean by not wanting to jinx anything. I've become to superstitious maybe?

 

Good luck to you too