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Antonius,

You sound desperate tonight, I know that feeling.  Can you tolerate an OTC painkiller like ibuprofen?  I took Advil when my shoulder pain became acute and it did help, I had to get the swelling down and took around 200mg every 4 to 6 hrs for a couple of days.

Hope it gets better soon.

 

Ringo

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Sleep is now a weird and painful exercise in trying to keep my back from arching and my pelvis from locking back. At this point it doesn't matter  how I prop myself, without something to hold it in place (the injured torso muscles) it just flies back, and that is very painful. Very, very painful. Maybe got a few hours, but not much. It hurts too bad.
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Antonius,

 

For pain at night I like Aleve (Naproxen Sodium).  During the day, it is all about distraction.

 

Not great advice, but all I got right now.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

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Thanks, I've had two tests done now on my muscles and what they're finding is that they just aren't reacting normally. If they tense for any reason (mainly just to use for normal things like walking, sitting, etc.) they don't un-tense. They just spasm. So I just found a spot here on the sofa and took control by not taking control. Like in those horror movies or the 1st Harry Potter movie where you have to release and just relax everything in order for it to stop. I still can't properly sit up, but this is definitely a muscle issue. I mean, the injury that was going on prior to w/d is obviously still there, the muscles that strained are still strained, but the spasms are what keep the body in this painful state. My legs were so spasmed during the testing today, and that's from just walking in there, I haven't exercised in well over a month.
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Dear Antonius, Ive been where you are and I know that desperation. I took OTC stuff when I was hurting like you and it worked a little. Soaked in Epsom salts baths. heating pads, heavy weighted warm blankets, something cool and refreshing to drink or a nice cup of hot tea. I did take Skellaxin that a broke in half. It is a muscle relaxer so I didn't take it unless it was very intolerable.

 

This is a very painful process and my heart goes out to you. Try and distract like others have said. I know its hard when you are hurting so badly. You must remember that this is temporary and you will get better.

 

Love and hugs

Jackie :smitten:

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Antonius, I know you said you haven't exercised for a month.  Is there any way you can stretch the muscles?  Try seeing yourself well and I know this sounds crazy but try talking to your muscles telling them that they are healed. 

When your muscles are in spasm for so long your brain learns that the tight muscle is normal.  You need to retrain the muscle and brain that it isn't normal.  This takes time.  I know,  I have an upper back/neck muscle spasm that has been difficult to get rid of.  I just keep stretching and saying out loud be healed muscle.  Relax be healed and whole.  Sounds crazy but doesn't hurt to be positive.

 

Peace and Blessings

Snufi

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Thank you so much, I'm relaxing it as much as possible now. It's amazing how much the fear grips you! Snufi, don't scare me! I'm already terrified that my brain has retrained to this (I had a bout like this 10 years ago, and not only my body has gone back to that exactly, but my thinking is basically exactly the same as then--that ended with me being put on klonopin the 1st time)!

 

I'm trying, convincing myself that the old me is really still here. I even went to a few Krav Maga classes where I normally train just to try and awaken that mental side of my brain. I had to lay on the floor and watch laying down, which made me feel pretty pathetic....lol....but still. I'm finding any position laying down possible and just making myself relax into it, trying to not worry that it's permanent.

 

Snufi, I can stretch a little bit, the trouble is that when I engage the muscles they just STAY spasmed. Doesn't matter which ones they are. My hands are constantly in spasm because I use them. My back, hip, psoas, legs, neck, you name it. I'm trying to stretch them best I can. Very gently and slowly.

 

Dunno, injury spasms or w/d spasms or both mixing to make the perfect storm? Likely the latter.

 

Jackie--how did you get better? This went away for over a month, now it's back. What made it go away for you, time?

 

Thanks buddies.  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: Some days I feel like no one on earth cares at all about what I'm going through, and somehow that makes it really awful!

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Antonius,

 

I sometimes get panned for telling people what to do.  If this comes across that way I am sorry.

 

Whatever you do, please do not start thinking "what did I do to cause this, and what can I do to make it stop."  That is like chasing your shadow in withdrawal.  That thought process is completely useless.

 

What you did was take benzos, and what you can do is not take benzos and stay distracted for as long as it takes for your body to heal.  One exception, is that it is always a good idea to take care of yourself as best you can; eat well, and exercise to your ability.  For me, even though I am now pathetically weak and spastic at this point in my recovery, my bodybuilding training helps me.  It is a great distraction, and it helps me reconnect my brain and nerves to my muscles.  There is a massively long thread about exercise in withdrawal and many posts are pretty good.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

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The flexeril worked finally. Spasms knocked out enough to feel the insanely firing nerve.

 

Ramcon, that is sort of the problem, to be honest. My right hip stopped working correctly, my pelvis started twisting up and I strained several abdominal muscles. I can't exercise. I say that as someone who LIVES to go on long walks and do Krav Maga and cannot now comfortably walk to the bathroom. We'll see what a few more days on flexeril will do. The spasms were covering up the source of the pain, the doctors said I have to get them stopped to be correctly evaluated.

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I have no personal experience with Flexeril, but I recall positive reviews from several buddies.

 

I did not mean to imply that you should exercise, when right now that is just not on the table.  I was only trying to ask you not to beat yourself up about what you had done to make it bad or could do to make it better.

 

Fight as best you can.  We are here for ya sister.

 

Be well, and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

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Thanks. I got reevaluated again today, and they think this is neurological. Got me in ASAP with a neuro and for MRIs. Shot me up with cortisone. I've got some screwy nerves on my low back/down to hip/leg that have always been a problem, it seems as if they have become neuropathic and are shutting things down like crazy.

 

Ugh. This happened to a nerve in my face years ago, actually. It wasn't fun, but it's different when it's your face...you can walk with one half of your face shut down. I guess I can't take jolts to my nervous system, eh? I wish they weren't leaning towards MS, but I doubt it's that.

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Antonius,

 

It is surprising how quick muscles become non-functional when they are not used.

 

In April, I was walking 3 miles, twice a day.  Then I was in the hospital with a serious condition, and did not get out of bed for about 2 weeks.  After that, it took me literally a minute or two to stand up and get out of bed.  When I left the hospital at 3 weeks, I was given a cane to help with walking.  They were also concerned I would not be able to get up the stairs to my apartment.  I was able to, but I had to rely heavily on the railing to do so.

 

After a few days of practicing walking around my apartment, I was able to give up my cane.  I started walking - very slowly - outside my apartment.  I didn't leave the property, and I was walking about 1mph when I normally walk about 4mph.  After about a week and a half, I felt confident enough to walk to a Subway about 1/2 mile away and order a sandwich.  After about 2 months, I was back up to walking normal speed.  Since late summer, I have been able to walk as well as before and can't even tell I ever had issues with my legs.

 

The point is - muscles atrophy incredibly rapidly when they are not used.  But I believe I read that you were very active with walking/jogging prior to your injury.  That means that recovery should be fast, as it was for me, once the injury is healed. 

 

 

 

 

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Antonius,

 

I am an engineer, and all that implies (think big bang theory ;) and often have to try, hard, not to sound like a d!ck.  That said, of course it is neurological.  Benzo withdrawal and recovery is all about neurology, and I am starting to think that all illness is.  I encourage you to read the "what is happening is layman's terms" written by fellow engineer and arguably the smartest person ever to grace us with her presence, Perseverance.  It discusses how benzos really mess up your neurochemistry, and how we heal in time.

 

Cortisone has its uses, and I hope it helps you, but like most things we use to get thru symptoms, it has its downsides.

 

I agree with what Frank said, except that it is not so much your muscles that atrophy, that actually takes a long time, but your nerve pathways that are telling your muscles what to do can forget how in a hurry; which again is neurology and messed up by benzos.

 

Get thru each day as best you can, and as the days pass you heal.  Nearing month 16 for me, it is sometimes tough to be optimistic, but I do remind myself I have come a long way, and am better off than many.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

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Please, I might put it in my sig here for people to STOP saying that this is withdrawal. I've been through withdrawal before, this is NOT withdrawal this is very very serious. Hell, maybe I'll just stop posting here. Or I'll post daily reminders to people to stop saying it's all withdrawal. There's an entire ER an neurology team not about to let me leave and at this point having to help me go to the bathroom.

 

I know people are trying to be nice, I get that, but I didn't seek medical help for far too long because of all of the "it's just w/d" comments.

 

Or I'll just stop posting about my hospital experience in this section, now that it has progressed to that.

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Please, I might put it in my sig here for people to STOP saying that this is withdrawal. I've been through withdrawal before, this is NOT withdrawal this is very very serious. Hell, maybe I'll just stop posting here. Or I'll post daily reminders to people to stop saying it's all withdrawal. There's an entire ER an neurology team not about to let me leave and at this point having to help me go to the bathroom.

 

I know people are trying to be nice, I get that, but I didn't seek medical help for far too long because of all of the "it's just w/d" comments.

 

Or I'll just stop posting about my hospital experience in this section, now that it has progressed to that.

 

HI Antonius,

 

You are so right! I learned my lesson a long time ago, not to assume that everything is "just withdrawal."

 

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, but it sounds like you're finally getting some answers and are in capable hands.

 

I send you all my very best wishes for a speedy recovery.

 

Any idea how long you'll be in hospital?

 

Chinook  :hug:

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Thanks, just did 2 more MRIs, the others were lower where most of the symptoms were but the neurologist said after an exam that it is higher up in the spine somewhere. So we'll see.
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