Understanding windows

Nearly 15 months off. Last week I´ve had a very strong window where I really felt love for the first time, and I felt my brain sharp like never before.

And incredible vitality and joy that lasted 4 days…

So all this vanished again... to be suffocated by the most horrible feelings and physical agony ...

Anyway, my previous windows had a monthly frequency…and lasting approximately 1 day. Since this last window lasted 4 days and was so intense, how could I take this? Comments are welcome

 

Nearly 15 months off. Last week I´ve had a very strong window where I really felt love for the first time, and I felt my brain sharp like never before.

And incredible vitality and joy that lasted 4 days…

So all this vanished again... to be suffocated by the most horrible feelings and physical agony ...

Anyway, my previous windows had a monthly frequency…and lasting approximately 1 day. Since this last window lasted 4 days and was so intense, how could I take this? Comments are welcome

 

Sounds like you are continuing to get better! Now that the bad feelings are back it is disappointing but very normal for all of us. Your window will come back again, maybe sooner this time. Keep enjoying the windows and if they keep getting longer each time be happy and live life 

Windows are how we'd be feeling all the time if stress didn't come along and slam them shut. 

Challis 

Yes Challis 99, I know that welfare is gone because of the stress of this week ...

There are things and people very stressful to me ... and this worries me a lot ... I wonder. If I'm in a permanent state of stress, it is possible to heal? Or put in another words, it comes a time when the nervous system becomes more resistent?

 

From what I have read on here calogero many people remain sensitive to stress, foods and other stimulation and then at 18 or 24 months keep getting better and better. It should improve more and more for you in the coming months! 

Cologoro....I know exactly how you feel....I think this is one of the cruelest benzo tricks of all. I am about 2 and a day off...I have exactly the same experience....A great long day of window...actually feeling happiness and enthusiasm...looking forward...connected ( like someone added HD to my brain)...no anxiety ..no intrusive thoughts or depression. Having a wonderful time planning a summer story time for preschoolers....that was yesterday....TODAY...woke up with dread.  intrusive thoughts....the stroke of midnight has rung..back to life the pumpkin and the stone castle walls....

...I will say that the wave is a out 100x less intense th

an at mid- taper but it just stinks to not know what any given day is going to be like....and the constant up and down is very exhausting. 

........Cologoro....hold on to the good days...be kind and patient with yourself on the bad days..    you have come so far ...you will have more windows...and you will heal. Wishing you many many windows....coop

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*weeks* .....2 weeks and a day or so off..

sounds like you had a very strong and powerful window since you really felt love. that is really nice. i don't feel any love at all when i am this wavy.

 

i think windows are the best and wish they would come around more often.