Extreme disconnect, memory issues

No matter what I do, say, brush my teeth, I turn away and it seems like I never did it. I REMEMBER doing it, but feel completely unattached to the experience. This happens every second of the day, every move I make, no connection to what I was doing the second before. I walk around in a trance-like daze without a break, like I am not even here. I am 8 1/2 months off and this has not abated one bit.

It does not seem to be a memory issue as some have, I could tell you every little thing I did today, just complete disassociation from it. Anyone else this bad this far out? It is crazy-making!

No matter what I do, say, brush my teeth, I turn away and it seems like I never did it. I REMEMBER doing it, but feel completely unattached to the experience. This happens every second of the day, every move I make, no connection to what I was doing the second before. I walk around in a trance-like daze without a break, like I am not even here. I am 8 1/2 months off and this has not abated one bit.

 

It does not seem to be a memory issue as some have, I could tell you every little thing I did today, just complete disassociation from it. Anyone else this bad this far out? It is crazy-making!

I have this also to some extent every single day as well, although I do get mild breaks from it. Improving over time but so slowly it is hardly noticeable.

No fun, but not unusual this far out.

Hi Hopeful-One,

Dr. Claire Weekes, in her book Hope and Help For Your Nerves (which I bought way back in 1990 while suffering from severe anxiety) devotes a chapter to "A Feeling of Unreality", which sounds like what you are describing. 

A nervously ill person may feel unreal in many different ways.  He may say "I feel I'm outside myself watching myself," or he may say "When I touch things, I know I'm doing it, but I can't feel I'm doing it."

She describes the cause in this way:

It is even more difficult for a nervously ill person, whose thoughts are constantly reverting to himself, who is so constantly anxious about himself.  It is this narrowing of interest to himself that leads to a feeling of withdrawal from the outside world, a feeling as if there is a curtain between it and him, a curtain he can neither lift nor break through.

I have definitely suffered from this type of symptom before, and it is no fun.  In my case, the feeling always seemed to correlate directly to my anxiety level.  It would be worst at work and in other public places, and abate somewhat when I was relaxing at home.  More recently, a month or so ago I accidentally forgot to take my klonopin one night.  The next afternoon I was in a meeting at work and I could comprehend what was being said but felt like I was watching a movie or something.  It didn't feel real. 

I've also had the symptoms before when my thyroid level is low.  In fact, the very first time I was diagnosed with nervous illness was back in 1990.  I went into the doctor's office and told him it didn't feel like anything was real, even as I was talking to him.  He said something like "Oh, you feel sort of a detachment from things?".  Turned out my thyroid level was very low.  I experienced that another time on vacation when I had accidentally forgot to take my thyroid supplement for a couple days.  If you have not already had your thyroid level checked, it might be worth doing this.  But it can just be anxiety that causes it too, regardless of the cause of anxiety (life events, withdrawal symptoms, etc.).