15 months off this December-Still not well yet

I wish that I could say that I'm better and finally healed but I'm not. I'm still suffering pretty badly. Lots of depression and waves of anxiety still batter me and keep me riding the waves. I do get some relief from it now but the waves are still so bad. I'm at a year off now, this past Oct and I wish that I had healed more than I have. But I'm not. In fact this past month of Nov had me in the hospital for depression and anxiety so bad that I was placed back on antidepressants. Nothing is working to keep  me from having my head above water. I was only off antidepressants for about 2 months...

 

I'm dealing with waves of anxiety, depression, and fatigue. I'm ALWAYS tired so much so that I think that I have some dread disease. I'm constantly running to Drs to get tests to see if I have cancer or not. I'm always afraid of that because I'm SO TIRED! Whenever I run out to do errands I usually have to cut it short or try to get it done as fast as possible because I run out of energy to get things done like grocery shopping and the like. Life is one long battle to try to feel better and get more energy. I'll know that I'm healed if and when the fatigue ever leaves me. I know that aging is a part of it but I'm only in my mid-forties so fatigue this bad is not normal even with the good diet I'm on and my daily exercise that I try to do.

 

My depression and anxiety are bad so much so that I got placed on medication again and hospitalized for my own safety. I even had ECT treatments which did not help and only made things worse. I'm lonely and sad and wish that things were better.

 

I do sleep at night but I think that I oversleep too much. At least I'm not suffering from insomnia.

 

Waves of cog-fog so much so that my short - term memory is shot. I really can't remember anything and I live on lists. This is a terrible s/x.

 

Super sensitive nervous system. I had some skin burning come back at one year off, but it only lasted for a short time and was gone.

 

I'm sure that I will heal, I just don't know if and when it will happen. Maybe I will have to wait until next year or at 20 months off like some others have reported. I was detoxed so I don't know if that matters.

 

I still live here at the forum, I just have been away for about a month due to the hospitalization. I wish I had better news to report. Maybe I will in another couple of month.

 

Here's hoping....;-)

Upanova, gosh I hope you do feel better soon.  I really understand your feelings of depression, anxiety and fatigue.  I fight everyday too to try to feel better and get some energy.  It's winter here, cold and snowing outside and it makes everything worse.  Have you been tested for Lyme disease?  Many on this forum have it and it does cause fatigue, anxiety, and depression.  I have it also and I think it adds to this w/d problem.  I'm going to try to take more antibiotics to get rid of it.   

You're not alone, Upanova. There are others as far out & further who are still suffering. & yes! I do believe it is much more difficult if you were detoxed.

 

How long was the detox?

 

I'm 8 month out & the neverending fatigue is still present. I'm unable to shop for myself, except online. Am bedfast too much. Agoraphobia, apathy, pain, digestive woes.

 

I still believe that time is the key. It takes however long it takes. Maybe, staying on the antidepressant until you do feel better, is the answer for you. & when you do taper, go slowly.

 

Sincerely,

 

T2