Down to 123 lbs

At 6'1. Dont know what to do. At a year off, I have no clue how ima get through this without drugs. My food toperance hasnt came back yet. Yea i know everyone says eat. But i try. And still get about 1100 cal a day. And if I eat too much or something wrong my bp and hr spikes, I twitch all over, my ears ring, and for about 3-4 hours. If I try to keep eating my bp and hr keep going up so I have to wait. Sonehow at this weight I'm still walking around and all.

hey, I have lost a lot of weight from this process due to it absolutely killing my appetite plus getting severe aversions to certain foods that I did not experience before (dairy and animal products, meat, etc). I understand completely the inability to eat and even though you're a year off I think it's perfectly feasible for this to be lingering from w/d - not good, obviously, but what I mean is don't lose hope that it won't resolve itself eventually. I can't see my food tolerance coming back within a year after this bullshit is over with either to be honest.

 

The minimum cal intake anyone is recommended to get even when trying to lose weight is 1200cals. So you're a little under the daily amount which is to be expected, I'm at about the same at the moment and skinny as hell. There are a few things I would recommend, have you tried meal replacement drinks? They provide a lot of nutrients and calories. All you have to do is drink it and so it's not like a heavy meal or anything which should hopefully not set your symptoms off.

 

Make sure to have little but really really often, and with calorie dense foods (but healthy - try and avoid refined sugar and fats! They will make your symptoms worse) so things like peanut butter, bananas, LOTS of carbs like pasta, potatoes, etc. Even with avoiding unhealthy stuff, if there's something you find yourself tempted to eat just go for it even if it's a cream cake. Not all the time obviously, but whilst trying to stay healthy, we also have to kind of take into account that we need whatever we can get at the moment.

 

So a little at a time, hopefully wont aggravate symptoms too much if you get your body used to frequent tiny amounts. And really try the meal replacement drinks! Have you tried them yet?

Oh also, have you been to the doctor yet? Because they may be able to suggest some more help on how to gain back some weight.

I can eat fine, my appetite is fine. My reactions are the problem. Unfortunately bananas abd peanut butter are some of my worst enemys. I feel so trapped. Doctors just tell me drink ensure. Which is loaded with sugar and msg. I wouldnt mind reactions if they were small. But hrs of 150 bps of 150-100+ and shaking isnt small

do you mean your heartrate is 150 beats per minute? Because I have a heartrate of around 120-130 resting and been to the doc multiple times and they said not to worry unless it continued consistently for a long time, however many people take beta blockers to ease those symptoms, have you tried those?

Yea, my hr jumps to 150+ it got to 180 once. My resting hr is in the 60's-70's.

Beta blockers scare me. I dont wanna have another drug to w/d from but also i worried and still do about an adrenline tumor which beta blockers are dangerous to take with

Maybe just a tiny dose of beta blocker would help you for short term relief, if you're worried about a tumor I would definitely see the doctor and express your concerns, but really try not to let your anxiety heighten over it because it will make things worse. Also remember the w/d can make us think all kinds of dangerous stuff is wrong with us, I was convinced I had cancer at one point. Then I realised I would have to have some serious bad luck for that to be the case on top of everything else! and that if it coincides with my w/d, then it's more likely that's all there is.

 

Your resting heartrate is really good, mine is constantly over 100, also how long period of time does the really high (150, 180) heartrates last for? Perhaps you could take a small dose of beta blocker before you try and eat. I really don't know what else to suggest but I will say that you honestly shouldn't lose hope because judging from your signature it's very feasible that you're still in w/d and therefore it will get better eventually. It's just a case of trying to sort the weight/eating problem out. I don't have any more ideas, anyone else?

I appreciate your advice. Everyone else is prolly tired of me cuz i been complaining about this. Even my own doctor is tired of me. He told me to go home and eat apple pie and ice cream. No one has to suffer the insane reactions i get though. They truly make fear for my life at times. Another reason i cant really do a beta blocker is my resting bp is 90/60

I'm not sick of you. I know you're having problems. Me too, I'm so far gone, so far away from who I was its a crime. This should not have been allowed to happen. "Medicine" that came from the doctors did this to us. You worry maybe getting hurt or injured or whatever out there in the open world but not from the very place that is supposed to help health not take it away. We rely on doctors and they feed us poisons. When they call it medicine how do they expct us to know its actually like alchohol or heroin. And how are we to know what dependance even means in terms of the hell it creates, the mental and physical torment. This shit just plain shouldn't be given out as "medicine".

Thank you OneDay. I never thought in a million years this was possible. I used to eat everything in sight.

Have you tried making your own meal replacement shakes? It's an easy way to get more calories and if you use a "clean" protein powder as a base it doesn't have to be loaded up with sugar. When I was trying to put on muscle this was the only way I could get enough of the right kind of calories to give me a surplus so I could gain weight. It's MUCH easier to drink 600 good calories than it is to eat them.

Onelove,

 

I am with Floridaguy about meal replacement shakes, but you do not have to make your own formula.  There are lots of good ones out there for people trying to gain weight.  Just like I trust benzobuddies for my benzo info, I trust the bodybuilding community about all things nutrition.  My docs will never catch up with me and my bros.

 

Walk into a GNC.  A brand they are touting now is called EPIC and its claim to fame is that it is free of all things nasty.  I think it is worth a shot.

 

Just to show that benzo wd can cause absolutely anything.  I started this thing very lean, and while I am not really fat, I am now a smooth sack a water and gas coated with a layer of fat.  My GOAL is to eat 1100 calories a day

 

hang in there.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

Onelove24                    Have you thought it might be what you are eating? You might have to start an elimination diet, you know a lot of foods have a lot of hidden MSG added to them.  I can tell when i have eaten something with MSG in it a get a reaction right away after eating. My heart starts to palpatate & beat fast. The palpatations last about 2 days but my hr slows down before that. I'm trying to do an MSG elimination diet, it's hard because just about everything has MSG in it. There is a list of different names that are used for hidden MSG added that mamufacturers use to enhance the flavor. We know more glutamate contributes to the glutamate storm and a lot of our symptoms. Maybe you can try that & see what happens.

I noticed you said bananas & peanut butter is your worst enemy. I'm trying to think of what could be in those two things that could give you a reaction. I know peanut butter has MSG added but bananas the only thing i can think of is the sugar or arginine which is in both of them.

Peanuts, in and of themselves, are VERY high in natural glutamate without adding a single thing. Buy a jar of all natural, nothing added peanut butter and it will be VERY high in glutamate by nature. There is nothing you can do to remove the glutamate. Google it and you can learn a LOT about foods that are naturally high n glutamate. DogtorJ maintains a website that gives info n this topic. In normal health, with good strong neural receptors  and a diet not overload in natural glutamates, we might not notice much effect from 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, but when our neural receptors have taken a beating from benzos, that can change radically. Certain cheeses (Parmesan and cheddar), raisins, grapes, and plums also have large amounts of natural glutamates, as do concentrated tomato product like tomato paste.

 

Bananas have tyramines when they are over ripe. Some people are sensitive to tyramines and some are not.  I wouldn't doubt that neural-impaired are more sensitive but don't know. I react to very ripe banana but am fine with ones that aren't. The same with avocados; very ripe ones are higher in tyramines than overripe bananas.

Yeah, my appetite is in the tank too.  I just went through some kind of crisis that resembled a w/d or severe hormone imbalance or something, but it caused my anxiety to get out of control.  I'm 52 and have drank milk all my life, large quantities, at least 2 big glasses a day.  No more, now I'm lactose intolerant, can't take fish oil pills and so afraid that any new food is going to cause my fragile digestive system to scream, NOO!!!  I had canned tomato soup today for the first time since October.  We'll see what happens.  I think for so many the digestive system just totally goes in the tank.  I'm down to 109 from 116 and have struggled to keep it at 109.  I'm barely taking in enough calories to keep it there and I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED A TAPER! 

Never had a probkem with food & my gastrointestinal before & during my taper only when i came off benzos. A lot of problems i was having before benzos are starting to flare up ( CANDIDA, IBS, SPASTIC COLON, SIBO, GLUTEN INTOLERANCE, POSSIBLY MALABSORPTION) so i have to be very careful with my diet and do a lot of elimination. One good thing i can say from all this is i never miss a meal & with no appetite i still continue to eat & keep the nourishment in my body. I am no longer losing weight, not gaining, but my weight is @ a standstill  w hich is good for my esteem & gives me hope that theres gonna be a turn around eventually.

Hey.

 

You may have some autonomic hyperreactivity going on here, or a genetic tendency toward atrial fibrillation--usually something that happens to older folks--that has been activated by your taper. Unless you're doing some kind of cardio, 180 is a wee bit much.

 

I'd get another doctor, and perhaps a cardiologist, if you can. The suggestion to use a beta-blocker, something ppl w/ performance anxiety often use, is a good one.

 

Try to lower your salt intake. Also, caffiene, if you can manage it (I cannot do this yet.)

 

Also,get your thyroid checked out. My ma's went off the chain.