Pushing back again

I've gotten so tired of this crap I decided to fight back and go for a real walk again today. First time in about a month. Have been limping along barely hitting the 1 mile mark most days. Today I said to hell with it and instead of looping back home at the 1 mile mark pressed on for the full 2.5 miles. Somehow my calf muscles managed to stay attached to the bone and I made it home. DR wasn't too bad out and about, didn't feel on the verge of dying or getting lost so it was a good day for exercise   Gonna push through the whole walk every day now no matter how much it hurts. I'm going crazy waiting for the muscles tightness to improve.

So depressing only being able to barely walk a path I would run around some days 2 times straight just 10 months ago.

I had to force myself this morning to go for my regular walk. I walk for 60 minutes now, but when I began 2.5 months ago it was all I could do to go to the end of my street and back -- about 20 minutes. Now, it's not unusual for me to go 80, 90 minutes on a good day.

I'm on day 10 of this freaking wave and I hadn't walked Monday and Tuesday because I was just so out of it. I haven't skipped two days since I began walking regularly, so I pretty much had to go today.

I finally figured out this "brain buzz." I was reading about tinnitus and the article said it didn't have to be in the ears, that it was common for it to be in the center of the brain and be a high-pitched squealing or buzzing sound, which is exactly what I have going on. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get rid of the tinnitus!

It seems everyone is having to push themselves right now. I wonder if the change from autumn to winter has anything to do with it?

Hang in there!

Your post reminds me of the line in 'Network'..."I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

I'm glad to hear that you fought hard and you won today. I made myself get out in the cold and walk, too. Some days that's all we can do, I guess...just not to give in

Tex, I do think the winter season has something to do with the hard times that seem to be affecting people.

R

I've gotten so tired of this crap I decided to fight back and go for a real walk again today. First time in about a month. Have been limping along barely hitting the 1 mile mark most days. Today I said to hell with it and instead of looping back home at the 1 mile mark pressed on for the full 2.5 miles. Somehow my calf muscles managed to stay attached to the bone and I made it home. DR wasn't too bad out and about, didn't feel on the verge of dying or getting lost so it was a good day for exercise   Gonna push through the whole walk every day now no matter how much it hurts. I'm going crazy waiting for the muscles tightness to improve.

 

So depressing only being able to barely walk a path I would run around some days 2 times straight just 10 months ago.

Hi Innadaze

happy for you .

What about bike .

I was not able walk how weak I was , but from second month on bike  was the best .

Keep going one step at a time my friend!

Wishing you a better tomorrow. 

Hey, thanks to all my Buddies for checking in. After the earlier 2.5 mile walk I came home and made some lunch. Not long after eating it felt like I was heading straight back into acute w/d. That lasted for about 2 or 3 hours. I got tired of feeling so awful and went back out for another 1 mile walk. Soon after the bad feeling settled back down to around my baseline. All I ate was a grilled ham and cheese sandwich to set me off, or maybe it was coming anyhow!

Hope your wave eases up Tex. Over months 6,7,8 I had some pretty long waves, but always came out feeling better. Now when I get a wave only getting back to the same old baseline, if that. Things have changed but hopefully will settle down as I cross over the 9 month mark.

Erika, I can do a little biking but it is so cold on my face and hands to ride the bike now. Don't feel safe with all the traffic by my house and lots of hills with my face covered and hands in gloves for less control.

Yes, that does sound quite a bit like "Network" Rosa, and I am mad as hell. Just fed up with all of this! Great job getting out in the cold for a walk, it makes things so much harder in the cold, dark weather.

Gardenia and Svenhoak, thank you for your support as always. Hope you are both having a good day, or have a great one tomorrow. 

Made it on another 2.5 mile walk today. It's embarrassing that I'm actually excited about that, but haven't been able to do that 2 days in a row for months. Gonna try for 10 days in a row and then try to start running part of it. It's crucial for my recovery that I be able to run 5 or 6 days a week, gonna have to build myself up to it if it kills me.

Calves, ankles, feet, knees all in so much pain after this walk. I still can't believe the benzos did this to my body. Tinnitus back raging. Feeling pretty good last few days in the morning for a few hours. By afternoon feeling like hell almost like acute w/d, then slowly improving as the evening goes on. Pattern keeps repeating. I sure hope that is a sign of healing.

Daze, I still find walking long distances somewhat challenging just because the pain. Have you tried cycling?  For some reason I find that easier on the body just sitting on an exercise bike in the gym.

-39 degrees here tonight. Let's just say that outside walks are out of the question!

Daze-

I think that because we struggle so hard for an ounce of control over these s/x, it does our spirit good when we set our minds to accomplish something like walking for 5 or 10 days straight.

You inspire me:)

R

Daze, I still find walking long distances somewhat challenging just because the pain. Have you tried cycling?  For some reason I find that easier on the body just sitting on an exercise bike in the gym.

 

-39 degrees here tonight. Let's just say that outside walks are out of the question!

I do a bit of biking now and again. The mix of cold on my hands and face along with the DR makes me feel unsafe. A decent ride where I live would involve crossing traffi\c 100+ times and my brain doesn't feel sharp enough most days to feel safe. Walking/jogging involve a slower crossing and feel more in control. The bicycle ride loses the appeal for slowing down to a crawl or dismounting the bike for each crossing. Hope you are doing well today, keep warm Svenhoak! 

Daze-

 

I think that because we struggle so hard for an ounce of control over these s/x, it does our spirit good when we set our minds to accomplish something like walking for 5 or 10 days straight.

You inspire me:)

 

R

Thank you Rosa! I've let my symptoms control my exercise attempts the past couple months and I'm getting so fat and out of shape I can't stand it any longer! Have to work my way back to exercising 5,6,7 times per week. Hope you are doing well Rosa! 

I'm still luckily getting windows Daze. Waves come and go every few hours, but I felt pretty good earlier today.

Is there any chance of you getting more vigorous exercise?  And still feeling safe and secure?  I feel the endorphin rush I get from exercise really is helping. Gotta get that heart rate up and break a sweat if possible.

Did you get your firewood cut?  Or is the house still frosty?

I'm still luckily getting windows Daze. Waves come and go every few hours, but I felt pretty good earlier today.

 

Is there any chance of you getting more vigorous exercise?  And still feeling safe and secure?  I feel the endorphin rush I get from exercise really is helping. Gotta get that heart rate up and break a sweat if possible.

 

Did you get your firewood cut?  Or is the house still frosty?

I am going to build myself up to some jogging again with any luck. The last 3 or 4 times I tried it revved everything up badly, felt as if I was passing out, elevated heart rate for like 2 or 3 hours after, etc..... Plan is to walk vigorously 2.5 miles for about 10 days and then begin doing some jogs during the walk and work back up if possible. We'll see how my body reacts this time. I can handle the leg pain, and before my breathing issues completely screwed up any kind of strenuous exercise. The last month or two breathing is getting better thank goodness, so gonna have another go at exercise. I love it and miss it, so helpful.

All wood had been cut and stacked earlier in the fall. Been burning fires but thermostat found on eBay finally arrived last night and we can put the heat on for an hour here and there to keep toasty with the fire for most of our heat.

I'm glad you are doing so well Svenhoak, fantastic news that those windows keep coming! 

OK, went for my 2.5 mile walk again today. In the middle of it I said the hell with it and ended up jogging about 1 mile of the walk in a couple half-mile bursts. So much for easing into it over a couple weeks

Calves hurt crazy bad for about an hour after the run. It's been a couple hours now and I can feel things bubbling under the surface like weakness and that internal anxiety or inner restlessnes/shakiness but it's not as bad as when I tried jogging 1 and 2 months ago. Maybe my body is finally back to the point of being able to handle some easy jogging. That would be like my own Christmas miracle! Going to increase water intake and try back on Vitamin D3 which has helped me in the past with mild muscle pain. Hope the vitD doesn't rev me up.

Very happy for you Daze!  Keep up the good work. Drink pails of water and that should help. Maybe a hot bath with Epsom salts?

Take care

Innadaze,

My legs are extremely weak no matter how much I walk.  Really just up walking off and on all day doing things around the house.  Is this what you and the others are referring to?  I just can't figure out if it is all from w/d or a combination from being in bed for so many months.  Any ideas?  It looks like to me if it is from inactivity it should be lifting somewhat but it doesn't.  I'm 3 months out.

I'm inspired by your perseverance.

Mama2

Innadaze,

 

My legs are extremely weak no matter how much I walk.  Really just up walking off and on all day doing things around the house.  Is this what you and the others are referring to?  I just can't figure out if it is all from w/d or a combination from being in bed for so many months.  Any ideas?  It looks like to me if it is from inactivity it should be lifting somewhat but it doesn't.  I'm 3 months out.

 

I'm inspired by your perseverance.

 

Mama2

Hello mama2,

The first several months of w/d I remember having a good deal of body weakness and especially "jelly legs". The were so wobbly and weak at times. It would come and go often. Inactivity can also be a factor but that weakness is a pretty distinct feeling I've only had in w/d.

My main leg problem is different now than weakness. My muscles get super tight very quickly from a moderate amount of walking. All the muscles in my lower leg get extremely tense and rock hard making it difficult and painful to continue walking or jogging.

Your leg weakness is normal at 3 months out from what I have read here on BB and it will improve eventually. Take care!