is/was anyone else bedridden?

i am just wondering if anyone else is experiencing the sort of malaise i am.

 

i get nauseous standing up or even sitting, i feel like i am carrying a 100 pound suitcase and i am average weight.

i have been like this since week 2 and its coming up to 6 months. my legs tremble fro standing up and i need to hold on to a wall. i wouldnt call this malaise, id call it deathlymalaise. i have seen terminal cancer patients and 99 year olds with greater capacity to move. i have a lot of bz withdrawal symptoms, but could this really be one of them? this far out?  is anyone else experiencing this kind of deathlymalaise for periods of months with no windows? i know people are experiencing fatigue but this is more like the moment before you die kind of fatigue.

 

your thoughts are appreciated

 

 

Daniel

 

 

That's pretty severe Daniel, I know what it's like because I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for decades and have spent most of that time in bed. However my exhaustion has actually lessened over the past few years and I have had only one short episode like that this year, since I jumped, as far as I can remember anyway.

 

It does feel like you are dying of exhaustion, I know, but it can turn around fast. Last week I couldn't even speak in sentences due to exhaustion, this week is much better.

Yes, it can definitely be withdrawal… I was couch-bound for months and my muscles became very weak.  Dizziness, weak legs…I had to work back up to full speed and it took months.

 

Can you put your drug/taper history in your signature so we can see where you are in the process?  Go to Profile (above) and choose Forum Profile, type in the text box and save it.  It will help the other members know where you are.

 

Challis 

Yeah, I am. Muscles can't support me at all. I pulled a few trying to keep going, and am really weak now. But buzzing in my brain and unable to rest.

Maybe I missed something, but I don't know what you are / were taking, how much, how long, or if you are talking 2 weeks into a taper, or 2 weeks after jumping . . . It would help others to answer better with this info (and a signature).

 

Having said that, I will answer a resounding definitely yes this / these are benzo w/d symptoms. Read my introduction (date posted in my signature). I was at deaths door, completely incapacitated, two trips to the ER, and had things not turned around my next step was to exercise my right to die (I live in Oregon), but even that would have taken too long for me at that point. I was in worse shape than a very close friend of ours was the week before he died of pancreatic cancer.

 

Anywho - yes,  most definitely yes, but do give us all some more information, please, and maybe some others can answer in more conclusive detail then.

 

Hang in there - I am no longer in that part of the benzo hell - you can make it, too 

 

Cheers,

SnapDragon

Antonius -- you may want to Google "tinnitus" and read up on it, if you haven't already done so. I have been making reference to my "brain buzz" for months. However, today I was reading about tinnitus and it said that it's not necessarily always in the ears, that it can be a high-pitched "squeal" or "buzzing" sound in the brain, too. For me, that information "clicked." So, now I guess I have to figure out how to deal with tinnitus.

 

As for the general topic of this thread, I spend most of my time on the couch. I've had a few days, most in acute w/d the first 2-3 months, when anxiety would get so bad that I'd go to bed to ride it out for an hour or so. I forced myself to begin going on morning walks when I was about four months out. At first, all I could manage was 15-20 minutes  -- down to the end of my street and back. Now, after 2.5 months of walking, I regularly walk 60 minutes and on some days I've gone 80-90 minutes.

ok ive edited the profile. thanks everyone for responding.

Thanks, benzodf… so no Clonazepam either, right?  You are benzo-free?

 

Oh, right…you're in Post-withdrawal.  You might also want to be posting on the Cold Turkey board.

Have you read the highlighted posts at the top of the Cold Turkey board?

 

Challis

no clonazepam. i had ambien once about a month ago and it gave me tinnitus and threw me back into acute withdrawal. i am scared to death of benzos since then

Hello again Benzodf,

 

Thank you - that makes a world of difference, knowing your history. I hope you did go and read my introduction. I would defer to others here who have both more knowledge and experience, but from my own experience, research and accumulated knowledge from reading here, the switch from 2 mg Clonazepam to only 20 mg Diazepam was not correct, you would have needed 40 mg Diazepam to be equivalent, and then only after a month going cold turkey was not good. One other thing we're missing here is how long you were on Clonazepam before the cross to Diazepam.

 

My guess is that I'd hate to recommend going back on any benzos at this point, but again, and even more so, I defer to others here on what to do. From what I have read here, it is a bit late for you to reinstate and taper more slowly, and if not, I also would not know what dosage to recommend to reinstate to.

 

The tinnitus may have simply been w/d from the Clonazepam and / or Diazepam rather than the Ambien, but it could have been from that as well.

 

Long / longer term protracted symptoms seem somewhat proportional (but not always as a rule) to those who did cold turkey or tapered too fast. Which, how many symptoms and how long they last is all over the map; everyone is different.

 

Can some of you others who have been here and have more knowledge please chime in here and help out?

 

Cheers,

SnapDragon

yeah i was basically put in a psychiatric hospital, told that in Australia,  where i was then, clonazepam is only prescribed for epilepsy and that it was illegal for me to take it( even though i was prescribed it by the gp),was  swapped over to 20 mg Diaz and told that i was "on more benzos than id ever been" and "couldnt be in withdrawal". meanwhile i was twitching, fitting and suffering and was told i was a hypochondriac and that there was nothing wrong with me physically. when i was released from hospital, since "it didnt benefit me" i just cted off of all meds incl zolft cause i had some delusions that drugs must not be absorbing into my system since i couldnt feel calmer from the diaz and the zoloft didnt make me feel happy. i was completely insane ... so i just stopped taking everything.  lord knows what that farked up in my brain.. i knew nothing about benzo withdrawal and aas convinced by my psyc it was not what i was going through. despite matching the wikipedia definition. at that time  didnt really have the mental faculties to read anything but wikipedia and "trust" my doctor. i was on clonaz for a year

I think 2 mg clonazepam is equal to 40 mg valium (diaz).

 

So when they switched you to only 20 mg valium, you were only getting half as much benzo as you had been getting while on clonazepam.  I would understand why that would make you feel out of your mind.  And then the c/t shortly after that.

 

You poor thing.  So very sorry you are feeling like this. 

they first tried to ct me off the clonaz with 100mg of seroquel. i begged the shrink to prescribe me a benzo instead after reading about risks of seizures from benzo withdrawal. he apparently thought thaf 20mg diaz is a lot more than 2 mg clonaz.and i paid the price forever

Ah geez - you've really been through the mill and then some. I am so sorry. As you continue writing, we learn more - that you were on Clonazepam for a year, the Seroquel, and the Zoloft (I hope you read my intro - I had extreme reactions to Zoloft as well).

 

Hang in there - from what I know, you will eventually heal, but your road has not been ideal, so it might take quite some time. Again, I ask for more better info and guidance from others here with more experience and knowledge . . . come on guys, I know you're there . . .

 

Cheerio,

SnapDragon

Patrick, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.    And please don't think you're going to be stuck with benzo withdrawal symptoms forever.  I truly believe that what we experience related to stopping our benzos is temporary.  Having this mindset helped me get through the toughest of times.

 

It's just dreadful that your doctors have refused to believe that you are suffering related to stopping the benzo.  The vast majority of doctors seem to be uneducated as to the long-terms effects that can occur when we stop.  Try to distract yourself with whatever takes your mind off of your suffering.  Please hang in there.  Six months is a lot of healing time to have under your belt.  You're going to start feeling better and I do hope that this will be soon.   

I was bedridden for a week here a week there in my months 6-9.

Months 10-12 I am bedridden maybe a day month sometimes a half day

I had the exact same thing. It started after I made a massive cut, and stayed with me until about 2 months after my last dose of my taper. It comes and goes now. You're far from alone!!!