XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

my poor blind mare hurt her foot today, the horse shoer's coming tomorrow, it will be the worse day of my current cut, usually is the 3rd day, plus when someone comes like that and ties up the whole day it makes me really nervous, I guess because I anticipate having a problem and dont wanna be embarrassed, so I guess I'll "hold" in my cut tonight and not cut more until tomorrow night, that should help

 

has anybody not cut on time "just because"...I always wonder if its ok to do that or if you should just push on through, I guess waiting til your "mentally" prepared to do a cut is ok, if you have the luxury of doing so...like youre not on a time scheduele, or running out of meds. etc...

 

 

Wow!  Too bad this all had to happen as you're getting your driving legs back again, but you hit nearly every driving pitfall and made it!

Good going!!

 

 

Thanks, Challis. Yes, I did make it! 

my poor blind mare hurt her foot today, the horse shoer's coming tomorrow, it will be the worse day of my current cut, usually is the 3rd day, plus when someone comes like that and ties up the whole day it makes me really nervous, I guess because I anticipate having a problem and dont wanna be embarrassed, so I guess I'll "hold" in my cut tonight and not cut more until tomorrow night, that should help

 

has anybody not cut on time "just because"...I always wonder if its ok to do that or if you should just push on through, I guess waiting til your "mentally" prepared to do a cut is ok, if you have the luxury of doing so...like youre not on a time scheduele, or running out of meds. etc...

 

I am so sorry, Benzy!!

 

Terrible when things like this happen, especially when we are at our most vulnerable time.

 

I hope she gets better!!

 

Denise 

Hopeful Girl...good for you! You are healing and forging new behaviors. Thanks for telling us...hearing success stories is so helpful.

Love,

Carita

I hope so too, I can deal with a bit of drama but, not if its bad and they say she needs to be put down or anything like that, I cant deal with that right now, I dont know what Ill do...

I think its going to be ok though, its more the fact that shes blind on top of it, if it was a horse that had its sight, I wouldnt really be that worried....

she kinda a high reaction type horse, so if theres a problem, its a huge problem due to the blindness...

heres hoping!

 

laslt year I would had just taken a extra bite of Xanax

OMG!! The poor thing is blind, too?? You are such a good person to try and keep her comfy and happy.

 

And, xanax ain't gonna fix it. Not last year, nor this year. Hopefully you will get good news tomorrow!!

 

Denise 

I was gonna ask if you had any emergency pills with ya..

Im thinking after I jump Im probably gonna carry a emergency bottle just so I know its there..

I dont plan on taking it either, but the power of suggestion is big with me, and I think if I "know" I still have my crutch, it will take a lot of the panic away in those types situations after I jump..

Im planning on doing it this way, I dont guess its for everyone if you're not strong enough to not take it.. but it wont bother me like that, I just  know it will be easier to get through those first couple of "triggers" having it available, or that I "think" its available..

 

the great news is of course, YOU LIVED!

 

Hi Benzy,

 

Yes, I threw it all out a couple of months ago. I still find it tucked away places but I always toss it. I'm not really worried that I'd take it but I get joy out of throwing it away because I don't "need" it anymore. It is like, "good riddance!"  Anyway, I do carry a couple of homeopathic remedies for anxiety and while they don't work like Xanax they do help a little I think but mostly they give some reassurance. I eventually will toss those too.

 

I hope you start feeling better. I'm all rattled feeling. Lots of my usual head pressure but today made things flare a bit. Boyfriend went to a workshop...really didn't want to be home alone but he is stir crazy and there is really no reason for me to not be here by myself.

 

Have a great evening!

 

hopefulgirl

 

 

Wow!  That's some scary stuff!  You were able to handle a stressful situation without meds!  Please be careful when driving in sketchy neighborhoods.  There are areas in my Nearest Big City that the police won't even patrol without backup.  Don't take chances...

 

 

Thanks, Babyrex. No worries...I will not be driving there ever again. I have already cheated death once with getting off with benzo w/d and I don't intend to do it again!

 

good going HG

 

Im going to keep my "pacifyr" handy, its a mental thing, but it'll work for me...or carry a empty dusty bottle around and lick the pill dust out of it when stuff happens, it'll be e nough to fool my mind into thinking I took a dose...

yes shes blind, she went blind over night, we dont know why, we had her up weaning her baby, so now she freaks if the baby gets far away, so Ive got 2 horses in th ebarn that dont need to be there, cleaning stalls 24/7 as it is..

 

shes got a 24 by 24 foot stall and a 60 ft round pen turnout, so its adequate, but as a horse, shes not happy, she'll hurt herself if she gets upset too...so....

 

Xanax or no xanax, I still cant make the call to put her to sleep, if it was a emerggency I could, but not with her standing there looking normal....

 

used to I wouldl pop a xanax on those days, but now it would do me no good period...

 

I guess just breathe and donot awfulize, I tend to awfulize, like someon eelse I know...

it would be cool to encounter things like this and handle them like a normal person, I dont know if that'll ever happen, without a pill, or a reaction, or a withdrawal problem... seems so far away and so abnormal...

 

of course my reactions were probably never normal anyway in those circumstances, but i have learned a few more coping skills, although today you woundlt know it..and I still gotta get thru tomorrow..

 

 

Wow!  That's some scary stuff!  You were able to handle a stressful situation without meds!  Please be careful when driving in sketchy neighborhoods.  There are areas in my Nearest Big City that the police won't even patrol without backup.  Don't take chances...

 

 

Thanks, Babyrex. No worries...I will not be driving there ever again. I have already cheated death once with getting off with benzo w/d and I don't intend to do it again!

 

 

Benzy...sorry to read about your sweet mare. Thinking of you as you face this challenge.

Carita

That is awesome, Hopefulgirl

 

With these lower doses, I've seen a bit of the panic response, weird paranoia/fears, weird doubts, feelings of self-guilt and poor self-image (which I KNOW are not true, LOL), etc...and it is reassuring to hear that you experienced such a thing and did not dose!  I hope you don't think that I'm glad you experienced it or anything, girl...I'm just saying that it's relieving to know that I'm not alone   A question that I'm learning to answer for myself is, "What do I do if...?"  That question alone had been something in the past that I'd feared greatly...but I am choosing to face it as of recent.  It's not been easy, and my flesh does NOT enjoy it much, but I do not want to live my life in fear.  I desire to walk in faith, and not in fear, of anything -- and I don't necessarily mean that "spiritually" either.  I'm talking about the faith that tells us when we stick our key into the ignition of our cars, they will start.  Or the kind that tells us if we work two weeks for a company, at the end of it on Friday will be payment for those hours. The day-to-day faith we operate upon is mainly what I'm referring to; I will work to walk in faith everyday.   I'm glad I have a buddie that does this, too!

 

So proud of you, working through all this   I know what you feel, friend   Have a great night!

That is awesome, Hopefulgirl

 

With these lower doses, I've seen a bit of the panic response, weird paranoia/fears, weird doubts, feelings of self-guilt and poor self-image (which I KNOW are not true, LOL), etc...and it is reassuring to hear that you experienced such a thing and did not dose!  I hope you don't think that I'm glad you experienced it or anything, girl...I'm just saying that it's relieving to know that I'm not alone   A question that I'm learning to answer for myself is, "What do I do if...?"  That question alone had been something in the past that I'd feared greatly...but I am choosing to face it as of recent.  It's not been easy, and my flesh does NOT enjoy it much, but I do not want to live my life in fear.  I desire to walk in faith, and not in fear, of anything -- and I don't necessarily mean that "spiritually" either.  I'm talking about the faith that tells us when we stick our key into the ignition of our cars, they will start.  Or the kind that tells us if we work two weeks for a company, at the end of it on Friday will be payment for those hours. The day-to-day faith we operate upon is mainly what I'm referring to; I will work to walk in faith everyday.   I'm glad I have a buddie that does this, too!

 

So proud of you, working through all this   I know what you feel, friend   Have a great night!

 

Thanks, MRS. I choose this path too. The alternative is just too yucky  I did have the worst mental effects on the low doses...like where you are at until almost zero. The good news is that it lifted a lot after I was done! It will lift for you too! Have a great night yourself! 

thanks Carita,, I hope I have a good report tomorrow ..

That is awesome, Hopefulgirl

 

With these lower doses, I've seen a bit of the panic response, weird paranoia/fears, weird doubts, feelings of self-guilt and poor self-image (which I KNOW are not true, LOL), etc...and it is reassuring to hear that you experienced such a thing and did not dose!  I hope you don't think that I'm glad you experienced it or anything, girl...I'm just saying that it's relieving to know that I'm not alone   A question that I'm learning to answer for myself is, "What do I do if...?"  That question alone had been something in the past that I'd feared greatly...but I am choosing to face it as of recent.  It's not been easy, and my flesh does NOT enjoy it much, but I do not want to live my life in fear.  I desire to walk in faith, and not in fear, of anything -- and I don't necessarily mean that "spiritually" either.  I'm talking about the faith that tells us when we stick our key into the ignition of our cars, they will start.  Or the kind that tells us if we work two weeks for a company, at the end of it on Friday will be payment for those hours. The day-to-day faith we operate upon is mainly what I'm referring to; I will work to walk in faith everyday.   I'm glad I have a buddie that does this, too!

 

So proud of you, working through all this   I know what you feel, friend   Have a great night!

 

Mrs

I've been looking in the mirror and I'm amazed at how much I've aged...the true awakening begins.  But you know, it's ok.  No regrets my friend.  I'm ready to live the rest of my life no matter the damage.  You're a smart cookie!  You know self preservation and what you need to do to survive.  Accept change and your new life will come to YOU!

 

Baby-I have aged a lot too. I look at myself and think wow! Who is that?  However, like you, I am ok with it. Sure I wish I hadn't aged but I earned every bit of grey hair and every wrinkle and no wonder I look tired and beat up! I am so grateful that my body is carrying me through this.

 

Benzy-I'm sorry about your horse. I hope it all goes well tomorrow!

thanks HG

Sorry about your mare Benzy. These potentially serious illnesses of our beloved animal family is difficult tapering or not tapering. When something happens to them, we are sad and worried...that is normal. Not feeling anything is abnormal.

 

I have been invaded by ants in my kitchen. At one time I might have popped a pill instead of taking action right away. Well, I am after those little buggers...NOW. I do not want them to carry my refrig away or something like that.  I gave them something poisonous to eat and also take back to the nest to get rid of the rest of them. I am handling this well!!! 

 

Blue

Thanks Blue, a lot of times it's not as bad as it looks with a horse, they don't handle pain well, hopefully this will be the case..

good moooooooooooorning vietnaaaaaaaaaaaam!

hows the Xanners today..

so far so good, dont know why Im in a decent mood considering...

we'll see what today brings..

didnt continue cutting due to the drama

the horseshoer and the vets on the way, we'll see what happens..

Good luck with the horse. Smart thinking about not doing your cut last. Too much going on can make for a bad time, I'm sure.

 

Let us know how the mare turns out.

 

Denise 

its gonna be a bright bright sunshiney day here!

 

ya, just imagine being out in the muck at 2 in the morning, in the freezing rain, with a crazy horse, trying to get it up out of the pasture into the barn, the others are flying by just trying to cause problems,  the mud sucks off one boot just as you're stepping so you step knee keep sock footed in the mud, standing there in the middle of withdrawals.....trying to do a little deep breathing? yaaaaaaaaaaaa RIGHT! Why do I do this???

 

Im cutting from a 1/2 of a .25 pill now, I get tickled at myself, when I make a cut the pill seems sooooooooooo little, I say "oh no that cant be right", and cut again, and again,,,its getting scarey seeing this low dose coming, I should be happy, but it makes me really nervous instead... I could really get hung up at this dose if I let myself, I need BabyRex to stop by and kick my butt again one time...

Benzy...I am not Babyrex, but I will be glad to kick your butt if that is what it takes to keep you in line.

 

I have to do a procedure I have never done before at work today. I can feel the anxiety monster already I have prepared myself by printing out instructions and watching a video on youtube. I think this is normal anxiety vs withdrawal. None the less, it still is uncomfortable.

 

Blue