stomach bug, stress and RAGE--please help!

I have been dry cutting k and really thought things were starting to

turn around, alot of mental clarity, etc. The past 3 days have had a

touch of a stomach bug and alot of stress with the holidays coming

and being currently seperated from my husband. The worst thing

right now is the total RAGE I'm feeling right now. I'm backc to thinking

I can't go on like this much longer, etc. Please help! Does anyone

know if stress can bring all of this on? I am so tired of going through

this and need help to keep hanging in there! Haven't made any cuts

in the past 10 days or so, so nothing has changed that way. Please

help!

Brittany,

I am sorry that you are having a rough time. I tapered off klonopin over 7 months this past year. It was a nasty time for me. I was put on valium to help w the w/d. The BIGGEST issue with me through w/d has been anger. I was ticked off at everyone. My temper was hair trigger and absolutely anything could trip it. I had a lot to learn about what benzos do to you when you are taking them and how they steal your soul when you stop taking them. I also had benzo belly for the first 6 months. I was sick almost all of the time. What I came to realize is that there is no easy way to get out of this. I look back to a year ago and I realize that I am much better now than I was then. I had said over and over,'I wish I knew at the beginning what this was going to be like.' Well, at this point I can see that it would not have mattered. Hearing about it and living it are really different things. I am getting better. One second at a time. When I was at my sickest I came here and asked for help and support and I got it. I am not done my any means but for the first time in a year I can feel a drop in the misery. It is new and hard won. The only thing I can tell you is to hang in there. Keep going. You will get through this. I hope you are feeling better.

CC

Hi, CC

Thanks for responding! We have some similarities. I was c/t'd Nov 2011 and it was pure

hell! Then tried a compound liquid of K and felt like crap the whole way down. Am now

dry cutting and it's going okay. There is really no easy way off of this stuff is there? I

guess just keep on going. The anger is horrible though when it happens. I lash out at

anyone I'm in contact with and it makes me feel really down after because its' not really

who I am. Did you have any serious depression during tapering or now? Waves? I had

been doing pretty good the last few weeks and now it feels like I've taken a thousand

steps back. Did you go through that? Thanks for any imput. It helps alot to hear about

how much of this is just "part of the ride" of getting off this garbage. Do you feel some

real healing taking place now that you're off?

Thanks again, Brit 

brit,

I have had such a mix of sx. The worst for me was rage and paranoia. I would convince myself that I was going to get fired, my family was mad at me and 100 other things....none of which was true. But my anger is what nailed me to the floor. I would fly off the handle at the drop of a dime. So bad. I really have pulled the reins in on that. It is not easy. One day about 6 months ago I was driving and some yoyo cut me off. I was screaming at him. Of course the windows in the car were up and he could not hear me. He was not even looking at me. Pointless. I am constantly surprised with new sx also. The thing is that after 1 year of it I am just plain tired. I keep going forward b/c I never want to do this again.

Hang in there.

Stress certainly sets off irritability and anger for me.  Being sick usually makes my mood and perception VERY weird too.  Last time I had a stomach bug I hallucinated vividly!  Fever and dehydration can affect your brain in strange ways.

Feel better, and try not to stress about the holidays.  The whole point is to have fun...if you're miserable it defeats the purpose!