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Being on a long hold, and not getting stable..:(


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I need some help to understand what is happening with my situation.

 

I am holding for over 10 weeks, after doing 2 cuts.

 

The first cut was .125 mgs, for which I held for 4 weeks. The second cut was smaller at 0.625mgs, but definitely lethal, as it brought upon many many debilitating symptoms.

 

But shouldn't a hold bring some sort of stability? With me, it seems that as time passes, that the symptoms multiply, and become more aggressive.

 

Most of my symptoms have been in my head, such as pressure, heaviness like there is concrete in my head, hot flushes around my head, and lately they are acting up in my sleep .. Also, a new symptom is that my eyes get blurry .. And I am concerned about that getting worse ..

 

My breathing is labored, and does not lighten up at all .. I am unstable, and cannot take a few steps, without holding on :( And I have been hit with a debilitating depression , and constant crying .. :'(

 

I dream of the day when I too can start a slow taper, but wonder if this is wise without stability.

 

As it is, my gut feeling is that all these symptoms are Ativan related, they have taken a life all their own, and am like a sitting duck, waiting for symptoms to deteriorate further. Another possibility is that a Detox CT this past January, may be compromising the Ativan taper.

 

I feel hopeless .. Any thoughts will be appreciated ..

Thank you, I am grateful .. :hug:

Love, Anu

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So sometimes a hold doesn't lessen symptoms.  I noticed this during my taper quite a few times.  What you should is go a head and make another cut.  Maybe a bit smaller this time.  Sometimes a cut can actually help reduce symptoms.  I know its scary but give it a try.  I remember when someone suggested that to me and I thought they were crazy and another cut would kill me but I actually felt a bit better.  Let us know how things go.  Your doing great.
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Hi Okatz,

I am so grateful that you are here .:)

My daily dose is 2.07 mgs and I dose this 5 times a day, to prevent IW.

Thank you for any thoughts ..

:hug:

Anu

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Hi M66,

I appreciate your response ..

M, considering the possibility that the AD CT may be unresolved and causing issues with the Ativan taper, do you still believe that it will be safe to cut?

I am thankful for your thoughts, for your support, and encouragement .. :smitten:

Take good care,

Anu

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Wow.

 

OK there are only so many options. Keep holding (which has not been working for you), go ahead and make another cut (a smaller one, which might work for you), or updose to where you last felt comfortable and come down again more slowly (sometimes this works).

 

I don't know which of these to suggest. I am tapering valium, not Ativan but just thought I'd ask to see if interdose withdrawals was your problem, but clearly it isn't.

 

You might contact Laserjet3051. He's tapering Ativan and is a sensible guy. He's also a neurophysiologist and might be able to shed some light on why this isn't working for you.

 

I really wish I could help. I'm worried about you. Let me know how this all works out and what you decide?

 

Okatz

 

 

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You are so very kind Okatz  :smitten:

Thank you for your thoughts .. They are wonderful thoughts and choices ..

My concern is, is that if my AD CT has not resolved after a year, and is contributing to this mess, it will be scary to cut.

Also, to go back to where I was comfortable, again this is impossible because I have been symptomatic all along ..

And since AD and benzo WD resemble each other, it is difficult teasing them apart  :'(

I am in a quandary ..:(

It means alot that you care .. Wishing you warm thoughts of wellness, and healing.

Love, Anu

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Is there any chance you could do a conversion to diazepam?

If so you might want to consider this. I'm not saying it's not possible to taper off on other shorter acting benzos but diazepam allows a more gradual taper especially towards the end, this may mean a more gentle w/d. It's worked for me.

 

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Hi guitarman,

Thank you, I am grateful for your help and thoughts.

Unfortunately my doctor refuses to prescribe Valium .. He wants me to try and taper to 1 mg of Ativan, and he may consider a cross  at that time.

I wish you wellness, and healing  :smitten:

Love, Anu

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Sorry about that Anu. But if you're struggling with this I think your doctor should be a little more open minded. Maybe it's time to change doctors... ;)
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You are so very kind, trying to cheer me up Okatz .. :smitten:

I agree with you .. But this is the second doctor who has declined my Valium request ..

How are you doing Okatz?

Holding you in thought and prayer.

Love, Anu  :hug:

 

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Hi anou, sometimes I just slowly push ahead anyhow and I am surprised when the s/x does not get any worse so I suspect the way I feel has nothing to do with cutting.  I just feel bad.

Sometimes you just have to keep going slowly down, no choice.  Everyone tapering suffers something it's not a pain free process no matter how slow you go.

 

Bird  :smitten:

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Anu I am doing better. Splitting my dose was definitely the thing to do.

 

Wish you were doing better, too.  :(

 

Hoping so much that things look up for you.

 

Okatz

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Hi:

 

I am continuing my klonopin taper after two weeks. I am still in acute withdrawal but I am pushing forward with a 5% dose reduction.  I will never get free if I don't continue.  I appreciate what you are going through.  It is awful.  It makes us feel like we no longer have a free will. It is very scary.  I am going to another doctor for another opinion. Hopefully, they will look at the Ashton protocol.  I need prayer. Thanks.

 

Kendall

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Thank you for responding Ken .

I am saddened that you are going through distress  :( You are right, it is scarry to endure this madness  :(

Please be cautious seeing a doctor, as they do not have a clue about help with tapering .. Only giving more meds ..

You are in thought and prayer .. :hug:

Wishing you many blessings.

Love, Anu

 

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But shouldn't a hold bring some sort of stability? With me, it seems that as time passes, that the symptoms multiply, and become more aggressive.

 

Absolutely not.  In fact, holding often doesn't work especially when your body is in the wd stage.  At this point all you can do is up dose and if up dosing doesn't work its time to bite the bullet and keep on tapering even though you have bad symptoms.  I don't agree with up dosing because it only gets worse from here. You keep taking more and more and then you have symptoms on high doses and then tapering gets really unbearable.  So, I'm of the opinion that tapering safely and slowly until you get off is the only way out of the nightmare.  If you remain on it too long you're only going to suffer longer.

 

 

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