Benzo Recovery As A Brain Injury

I have recently been defining my benzo recovery as recovering from a brain injury. Defining benzo recovery as a brain injury helps me to see the reality of what I am really doing.

 

I have noticed that people can relate to my experience when I call it a brain injury much more than getting over a benzo withdrawal. They have nothing to compare a benzo withdrawal to, but they have been injured before, and they can imagine if their brain was injured what that might be like.

 

In my case, I am mostly healed, so I have no fear of this being permanent. The idea of a brain injury at this point helps me with other people - and, it helps me to have some compassion for myself and understanding of what is going on.  You will have to see how this concept fits for you.

 

See if it helps to tell yourself and the people you interact with about your situation in these terms.   

 

 

 

River

When I do something stupid in public I just tell people I got kicked in the head by a horse last year. They get it then.

That's it!  Good one!      Same thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

ps - it's fifteen minutes later and as I'm making a sandwich I'm still laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

. . . kicked in the head by a horse.  .  .   

That's it!  Good one!      Same thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

ps - it's fifteen minutes later and as I'm making a sandwich I'm still laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

. . . kicked in the head by a horse. 

 

Me too   Just a little tetched still 

River, I was thinking when I have to go for a job interview and they ask about my gap in employment I will say I suffered from a brain injury. I feel strange lying, but not sure what else to say! My dad says to be honest, that it's the only way people will learn so I feel torn. What do you think?

You have to decide this according to your ethics.  .  .  I might say I had a temporary negative outcome to a medical treatment.

You have to decide this according to your ethics.  .  .  I might say I had a temporary negative outcome to a medical treatment.

 

Every night I watch TV there is always a new class action law suit for a BAD MEDICATION.

One could say they were a victim of a bad medication, it would be true.

There is a social stigma attached to psych drugs and their users.

 

When you tell someone you are having trouble with psych meds, they tend to back away from you slowly as they keep their eyes on you -  metaphorically speaking, that is.

 

. . . sometimes this happens in reality. People can get real freaked out regarding  psych drugs.

 

Since I've been telling people I'm recovering from a brain injury, the whole experience has become easier.

 

 

River

That's basically what I tell people as well. People have too many preconceptions about what withdrawal means and I have come to realize that most people are unwilling or unable to challenge their own point of view so if you want people to understand you have to simplify it for them.

I often tell people I'm having a bad reaction to a medication and that it will take a while to sort itself out. That's sufficiently vague that it tends to satisfy people as most everyone has had such a thing happen to them. And when I see them a month later and I'm just the same, they tend to be a bit empathetic. It's just taking a long time, I tell them. It really messed me up.

 

No way would I mention anything about psych drugs. You're right River, people back away with that look in their eye.

 

I never thought about telling them I'm recovering from a brain injury. Have to think about that.

 

Okatz

Do you think saying a sleeping pill caused damage would make people look at me strangely? Ambien( lunesta, restoril) doesn't have the same stigma as other benzodiazepines. If you use brain injury as an explanation,  has anyone asked what happened?

As far as explaining this to a potential employer goes if you are going on a job interview to help spread the word about benzo wd that's probably the right thing to do. If you are doing it to secure employment I don't think it's a very good idea to wave a huge red flag at a job interview. If you had recovered from a health problem that in no way would affect your job performance (recovered from a broken leg and you are applying for an office job) it's one thing, but saying that you had benzo wd or that you were damaged by a medication leaves waaaaay too many unanswered questions.

 

Luckily for me I have owned businesses for years so I have a good explanation for what I've been up to. That might come in handy when I start to look for a job next month.

FG, yea I'm torn about it. Ill have to think about it when the time comes. I've considered myself an honest person but I don't want to jeopardize my chances. I will have to go with brain injury if I decide not to tell the whole truth. Nothing else could explain such a long break!

FG has a good point regarding disclosure to an employer. I've been self employed for so long that job hunting questions are out of my zone.

 

I'd like to point out that it really helps me to see myself as brain injured because it puts my current situation of starting over into perspective.

 

I have more compassion for myself when I see it this way. 

 

 

You WILL make it 

 

 

River

Re the job interviews...its a tough one.

 

On the one hand one shouldn't have to lie but at the end of the day they are looking for red flags...but you owe it to yourself to give yourself the best chance possible so dont feel guilty about it.

 

So Id try and come up with an affirmative answer you are (or can) get comfortable with, without going into any of the details. whether thats a career break to travel, you had some family or business issues to resolve, or you had a health condition or whatever else. There are worse things than having a medical issue (such as you got fired for underperformance or because you didnt get on with your boss) - so long as it wont affect your performance going forward.

 

Good luck with it !

Thanks sunny days and river.. I think I will go with brain injury, which is true, and if they ask for details ill say it's a touchy subject that I would rather not discuss. Does that seem appropriate?

 

I've actually interviewed for a job during this, a gardening job, and I told the truth about my health issues.  She said she appreciated my honesty and was willing to work with me, she was so nice. I wasn't well enough to actually take the job, but it was nice seeing I could still get a job and someone would be empathetic.

Today I was thinking of how beneficial it was for me to shift part of my identity from someone who is a recovering psych drug patient to someone who was recovering from a brain injury.

 

This new self -concept really helped me. It created a lot of compassion for myself and the other benzo victims. At a time when I was feeling extremely beat up from withdrawal, this feeling of self- compassion was very comforting.

 

Also, it made it a lot easier to explain it quickly to people in social situations.  People can relate to someone being kicked in the head by a horse, but when you start talking about psych drug withdrawals, you can see them start to back away.

 

I wanted to bump this thread so that others might see it and try this concept on.

 

I hope it works for you as well as it did for me.

 

 

 

For those who are still struggling, I am sending you some  V e R y  C a L m  good vibes. Lately I have been feeling better than I can ever remember - just loving life and being filled with happy feelings.

 

What a contrast between 2 long years of benzo hell and now - happy and calm.   

 

W o W. 

 

You WILL recover - just keep moving forward and you will reclaim your life.

 

 

 

River

 

 

 

Brain injury is exactly what Ashton calls it. She akins it to recovering from major surgery. I wish more people would read her manual, especially family members and friends who haven't been on benzos but have to deal with those coming off of them. Betsy

I think you have something there, sounds like a good idea. I am still tapering off klonopin, however I do wonder if I wil  heal completely.  I took 4mg xanax daily and then 6mg daily of klonopin for 23 years.  Kay

Yes River...thinking of it as a brain injury does bring more self compassion. Thank you for this thought.

Carita

River, I was thinking when I have to go for a job interview and they ask about my gap in employment I will say I suffered from a brain injury. I feel strange lying, but not sure what else to say! My dad says to be honest, that it's the only way people will learn so I feel torn. What do you think?

 

I plan to tell any future employer that I used to live in Ohio (true), my magazine shut down (also true) and that it's so cheap to live there that I only needed my hubby's paycheck. Then we got a divorce (also true) and now have to earn a living. I won't tell them I was on the dole for years because of benzo induced comatose. Betsy That's my plan anyway.

Reading through this thread again I just have to point out that this is a perfect example of why there are certain circumstances where "lying" or "adjusting the truth" are necessary and justified. It is society's problem that they don't understand this for what it is.

 

This could have happened to anyone, good or bad, honest or dishonest. Don't let your desire to be an honest person screw you.

Hi all, my benzo wise Dr has agreed that the best way for me to describe my condition is a "brain injury" or a "damaged CNS" as technically  I have!!!  We all know how hard it is to describe what is happening to us.

I've been using this analogy to explain my predicament to family and friends. They'll say: Oh, you've been off the drug for more than two years, it must be out of your system by now, how can it still be causing problems? I answer: Imagine that I'd been shot in the head two years ago, and the bullet was removed the same day. Would you wonder how I could still be having problems? It's not the bullet. It's the damage caused by the bullet. It's healing, slowly, but it's still got a long way to go.

 

People can understand major brain damage better than microscopic changes in neurotransmitter receptors.

Evan - that is a good way to describe it. 

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

River