Who is cooking on T-Giving?

Hey BB's,

 

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I have been dreading the holiday until 2 days ago when I really leveled out from my last cut 5 weeks ago. Thanks to everyone that weighed in on holding until I stabilized. I am cooking. Turkey with all the trimmings. Having 6 guests. I feel good about it. Last Thanksgiving was the last holiday of my old life before w/d. It is my family. My brother who is my touchstone, his wife and kids and a few friends. 1 week ago I was in a tizzy about the holiday. Still sick and feeling lousy. So Christmas will be my challenge. I am going to the mountains for the holiday. My local and extended family are renting a house in one of the ski towns. This is a rare opportunity. Very cold with fires in the hearth and good times. I am cutting right after T-giving. That gives me about 3 weeks to feel ok. I want that to be my Christmas present. Just feeling normal. I just got a scale in the hope of extremely accurate tapering. The company sent the wrong one. A-r-r-g-h. I finally got the return label, etc. and a return # is needed and they did not send it. So the scale goes back, likely on Monday when they reopen and I get the # and then I wait for the correct one. I AM OPTIMISTIC. :yippee:

 

What are my BB friends doing for the holidays??

As you may know, I'm driving 120 miles on Thanksgiving to my brother-in-law's house. However, I'm fixing Christmas Day dinner for about 25 people. I'll be so busy I won't have time to get anxious!

 

I'm on a diet and all I get to eat is turkey white meat and salads...no dressing, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatos...sigh!

But Tex...you are doing it!!! I will be curious to see how it went for all of us afterward. I am looking at this as a challenge. Given the fact that w/d can turn on us and bite us I feel like carrying a baseball bat with me.

I am also hosting (and cooking) for Thanksgiving. Ten total, including myself and my husband. I am cautiously optimistic. 

I am going to cook, but kind of unofficially.  Meaning, I didn't invite guests, just my daughters who live with us and their boyfriends if they want to come.  Just cooking and baking will be fun.  And we have to eat anyway, so why not a small turkey?

 

We are going to the movies.  My husband hates all the frenzy surrounding holidays, and I'm in no shape to be super upbeat about everything this year, so doing the minimum.

Yeah Mama...But you ARE doing it.

Well, I am remaining optimistic about it, but we'll see.  I'm kind of in a big funk right now so don't FEEL like doing anything except curling up on the couch. 

We're going to see some friends a couple hours away, but I'm baking a pie or two before we leave. I'm also bringing stuff to make hot mulled cider (with apple brandy for those that want it).

We are going to the Oregon coast to meet our sons, daughters in law and grand daughter for a week. The house is right on the ocean and we are sure to get some lively Pacific ocean storms. Each year we choose a different ethnic theme...this year it is Mexican. One son is preparing turkey tamales, the other is making turkey mole enchiladas. I am cooking turkey posole...my favorite soup. Son number one raised the turkeys. Son number 2 and his wife are organic farmers and are bringing a bounty of vegetables. The desert menu is mouthwatering....dulce de leche banana crepes and a variety of Mexican sweets. We hold up in the house with a blazing fire and cook for days. It is a happy time.

I had hoped to be feeling better this year...I remember walking on the beach last year imagining I would be finished with tapering and well healed. Life throws us different plans...this year I AM better, still tapering and managing a load of symptoms. I will do what I can to participate...probably spend a lot of time sitting on the couch enjoying my sweet sons and family. I love this holiday.

Sending you friendship and support. I am grateful for each of you.

Carita

Hubby and I are cooking.

 

We always have turkey on Thanksgiving, and ham for Christmas.

 

I'm not that crazy about turkey, but love ham.

 

Hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving. 

It is good to see everyone participating and going forward. I just got back from the grocery store. Always a challenge. The aisles seem to close in on me, even on a good day. I love Thanksgiving. Even with the limitations that this year brings. I hope that we all find a piece of the day that brings us a good time. I have seen better days but I have also seen worse. Here's to better days and happy endings.

Hey BB's,

 

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I have been dreading the holiday until 2 days ago when I really leveled out from my last cut 5 weeks ago. Thanks to everyone that weighed in on holding until I stabilized. I am cooking. Turkey with all the trimmings. Having 6 guests. I feel good about it. Last Thanksgiving was the last holiday of my old life before w/d. It is my family. My brother who is my touchstone, his wife and kids and a few friends. 1 week ago I was in a tizzy about the holiday. Still sick and feeling lousy. So Christmas will be my challenge. I am going to the mountains for the holiday. My local and extended family are renting a house in one of the ski towns. This is a rare opportunity. Very cold with fires in the hearth and good times. I am cutting right after T-giving. That gives me about 3 weeks to feel ok. I want that to be my Christmas present. Just feeling normal. I just got a scale in the hope of extremely accurate tapering. The company sent the wrong one. A-r-r-g-h. I finally got the return label, etc. and a return # is needed and they did not send it. So the scale goes back, likely on Monday when they reopen and I get the # and then I wait for the correct one. I AM OPTIMISTIC. :yippee:

 

What are my BB friends doing for the holidays??

 

This post makes me feel so sad.  I am bedridden most days and suffering greatly from intense physical pain.  I had my husband, (who is also sick from a taper), order a pre-made turkey dinner from a local grocer.  I don't understand why I am so much sicker than everyone else!  So many complain about being debilitaded, yet travel and cooking are their normal everyday activities?  I'm not trying to be a bummer, just trying to understand...

 

babyrex,

 

Hey, we all do differently on different days. Go through my posts and you will understand that all of us have been flat on the floor at some point. I am having a good day today and am feeling optimistic. I can tell you that benzo w/d has taken me to my knees over and over. From crying to shaking on the floor to vomiting in the middle of the night. I have been where you are. My hope for you is that you can hang in there. You will get through this. You have to believe it. It is not over for me. I know that. That is one of the reasons that I grab the good days and run with them. My personal life is in shreds and I may be sick as a dog tomorrow but I know, without a doubt, that I will be better some day. If you need to talk when you are feeling really bad, PM me. I will talk with you. That is why we are here. To support one another. There will be a point in time when you will be having a good day and will reach out to someone that is not.

 

Hang in there.

 

Feeling your misery in Colorado

babyrex,

 

Hey, we all do differently on different days. Go through my posts and you will understand that all of us have been flat on the floor at some point. I am having a good day today and am feeling optimistic. I can tell you that benzo w/d has taken me to my knees over and over. From crying to shaking on the floor to vomiting in the middle of the night. I have been where you are. My hope for you is that you can hang in there. You will get through this. You have to believe it. It is not over for me. I know that. That is one of the reasons that I grab the good days and run with them. My personal life is in shreds and I may be sick as a dog tomorrow but I know, without a doubt, that I will be better some day. If you need to talk when you are feeling really bad, PM me. I will talk with you. That is why we are here. To support one another. There will be a point in time when you will be having a good day and will reach out to someone that is not.

 

Hang in there.

 

Feeling your misery in Colorado

 

Thank you Colorado chick!

 

Ugh!  I'm having so much self pity I can't peer around emotional corners!  It's just so intense right now, and the benzo lies are winning.  I can't seem to get the kind of break where I feel human again.  I hate being housebound!  I feel it must be a weakness in my character, yet I do realize this was not me before benzos. 

 

Your honesty made me feel less alone. Thank you for bringing me back to earth!  I do know next Thanksgiving will bring a different perspective.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

 

 

Hey BB's,

 

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I have been dreading the holiday until 2 days ago when I really leveled out from my last cut 5 weeks ago. Thanks to everyone that weighed in on holding until I stabilized. I am cooking. Turkey with all the trimmings. Having 6 guests. I feel good about it. Last Thanksgiving was the last holiday of my old life before w/d. It is my family. My brother who is my touchstone, his wife and kids and a few friends. 1 week ago I was in a tizzy about the holiday. Still sick and feeling lousy. So Christmas will be my challenge. I am going to the mountains for the holiday. My local and extended family are renting a house in one of the ski towns. This is a rare opportunity. Very cold with fires in the hearth and good times. I am cutting right after T-giving. That gives me about 3 weeks to feel ok. I want that to be my Christmas present. Just feeling normal. I just got a scale in the hope of extremely accurate tapering. The company sent the wrong one. A-r-r-g-h. I finally got the return label, etc. and a return # is needed and they did not send it. So the scale goes back, likely on Monday when they reopen and I get the # and then I wait for the correct one. I AM OPTIMISTIC. :yippee:

 

What are my BB friends doing for the holidays??

 

This post makes me feel so sad.  I am bedridden most days and suffering greatly from intense physical pain.  I had my husband, (who is also sick from a taper), order a pre-made turkey dinner from a local grocer.  I don't understand why I am so much sicker than everyone else!  So many complain about being debilitaded, yet travel and cooking are their normal everyday activities?  I'm not trying to be a bummer, just trying to understand...

 

 

 

 

Babyrex, I was thinking the same thing because I'm in a major fatigue/depression kind of wave.  I am only optimistic about cooking for Thanksgiving, and hope I will, but I'm really depressed right now.  So, seeing everyone else be joyous made me feel a little confused and envious.

 

Then I remembered that w/d makes me kind of crazy mentally...I have amnesia about the good days I've experienced and tell myself it will never get better, that I'll just keep getting worse and worse.  My mood and personality the last few days have been so self-centered and crabby. 

 

Hopefully things will get better for me mentally as the days wear on.

babyrex and mama,

 

It is true that benzos dictate our lives right now. I woke up at 2 am. Jacked up. Stayed awake for 3 hrs and finally went back to sleep for 2 hrs. That is what is so hard about this. You never know what you will feel like on any given day.

I really mean it about grabbing the good and going with it. The good days are short lived right now. If I started the t-giving thread today I would have written it differently. I am crabby and have a headache. I am not feeling friendly with the world. My hope for Thanksgiving is that I feel 1/2 as good as I did yesterday. It is hard to realize what happens to your mind. I was so optimistic yesterday. Today I feel like punching the drywall in. *sigh* I used to be normal.

We will get through this. I still feel optimistic.

 

Weak smile from Colorado

babyrex and mama,

 

It is true that benzos dictate our lives right now. I woke up at 2 am. Jacked up. Stayed awake for 3 hrs and finally went back to sleep for 2 hrs. That is what is so hard about this. You never know what you will feel like on any given day.

I really mean it about grabbing the good and going with it. The good days are short lived right now. If I started the t-giving thread today I would have written it differently. I am crabby and have a headache. I am not feeling friendly with the world. My hope for Thanksgiving is that I feel 1/2 as good as I did yesterday. It is hard to realize what happens to your mind. I was so optimistic yesterday. Today I feel like punching the drywall in. *sigh* I used to be normal.

We will get through this. I still feel optimistic.

 

Weak smile from Colorado

 

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. The ups and downs, the unpredictability of this is so difficult to accept. When I have a brief break my world opens and I am ready to embrace it all...moments later I can be crying on the couch seeing no way out. I know I must grab the good and run with it which I try to do with each glimpse of wellness...but sometimes it feels like it makes the return to the dark so much more difficult. I attempted to shop yesterday and left the store in a complete mess. When I wrote the post about our thanksgiving plans I was feeling a bit better...now I wonder how I can manage to pack a suitcase to travel the 100 miles to the coast. I have such compassion for all of us. This is so hard.

Carita

Hi Colorado,

 

    Thanks for asking, I'm going to be cooking for 10.  My husband invited his mom and brother over because they were going to be alone and then his sister and her husband said they didn't have anywhere to go so he invited them also. 

   

    When his other two sisters found out everyone was coming to our house they hinted they would like to come too and so they were invited.    They all have a 1 or 2 hour drive to get to our place so some may be spending the night depending on the weather.

 

This is the menu I came up with,

 

Turkey

Dressing

Mashed Potatoes

Gravy

Green-bean Casserole

Glazed Carrots

Cranberry sauce

Rolls

Pie

 

I think it's simple enough I shouldn't have any problems..

 

    Last year at this time I was still throwing up several times a day and I had double vision 24/7.  It was a nightmare that I never thought would end.  But it did, we all heal from the temporary damage done by these drugs.  We get to enjoy life again.

 

Molly

 

 

Molly,

 

Your menu sounds great.I give you a high five for doing this. I know that on any given day we all think about what it was like before we got sick. I do it all the time. You know what my fear is? That I will not be here when it is all over. That I will do my last cut. I will be so close and then I will go to walk across the street and I will be run over by a garbage truck. Splattered in Colorado. Then it will all be for nothing. This is really only a fleeting thought but my mind has has been destroyed by all of this. I was a driven, confident woman that had been through enough as it was. I could never get enough of any given day. If something looked good I grabbed it and ran down the street smiling. Taking in everything in front of me. Today has been a challenge after a good yesterday. Reminds me that I am still far from done. BUT on the upside, my face is not numb. My vision is ok today. My stomach is not upset. I have been better but I have been sicker. Looking forward.

Hey Carita,

 

I was reading your post and remembering that through the worst days of this we always have each other to lean on. There is absolutely no one in my life that understands what it is like to carry this weight on your back. My family is great but only someone carrying this can possibly understand what a challenge cooking a turkey can be. I can see it now. I will open the oven over and over to make sure that the bird is in there. I will convince myself that the turkey will taste crappy and my pumpkin cheesecake will be awful b/c I forgot the cream cheese. Benzo brain. Wishing you the best for the holiday Carita.

I making my husband cook and he said yes this year!  So then he hired a catering service    (typical man thinking )

 

What happened to the the "Good'ol days"  Once the kids grow up and went to college and left home this house now feels so big and empty  :'(

Hey BB's,

 

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I have been dreading the holiday until 2 days ago when I really leveled out from my last cut 5 weeks ago. Thanks to everyone that weighed in on holding until I stabilized. I am cooking. Turkey with all the trimmings. Having 6 guests. I feel good about it. Last Thanksgiving was the last holiday of my old life before w/d. It is my family. My brother who is my touchstone, his wife and kids and a few friends. 1 week ago I was in a tizzy about the holiday. Still sick and feeling lousy. So Christmas will be my challenge. I am going to the mountains for the holiday. My local and extended family are renting a house in one of the ski towns. This is a rare opportunity. Very cold with fires in the hearth and good times. I am cutting right after T-giving. That gives me about 3 weeks to feel ok. I want that to be my Christmas present. Just feeling normal. I just got a scale in the hope of extremely accurate tapering. The company sent the wrong one. A-r-r-g-h. I finally got the return label, etc. and a return # is needed and they did not send it. So the scale goes back, likely on Monday when they reopen and I get the # and then I wait for the correct one. I AM OPTIMISTIC. :yippee:

 

What are my BB friends doing for the holidays??

 

This post makes me feel so sad.  I am bedridden most days and suffering greatly from intense physical pain.  I had my husband, (who is also sick from a taper), order a pre-made turkey dinner from a local grocer.  I don't understand why I am so much sicker than everyone else!  So many complain about being debilitaded, yet travel and cooking are their normal everyday activities?  I'm not trying to be a bummer, just trying to understand...

 

 

 

 

Babyrex, I was thinking the same thing because I'm in a major fatigue/depression kind of wave.  I am only optimistic about cooking for Thanksgiving, and hope I will, but I'm really depressed right now.  So, seeing everyone else be joyous made me feel a little confused and envious.

 

Then I remembered that w/d makes me kind of crazy mentally...I have amnesia about the good days I've experienced and tell myself it will never get better, that I'll just keep getting worse and worse.  My mood and personality the last few days have been so self-centered and crabby. 

 

Hopefully things will get better for me mentally as the days wear on.

 

Thank you MamaShoshanna,

 

When it gets tough I am certain no one is sicker than I am.  I'll be honest, the symptoms have been unrelenting since about month 4-5.  But that is partly my fault as I never let myself have a break when cutting.  As soon as a couple of symptoms would lesson or disappear, I would cut.  Because of my lengthy use and relatively high dosage, Xanax had became a poison to my body. Thus, I felt the need to cut "quickly".

 

I'm sorry you are having depression during what should be a joyous time.  Perhaps the distraction will help alleviate your depression; just don't let the pressure of the holiday accelerate any anxiety you may still have. 

 

 

 

 

Hi Colorado Chick,

 

I hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house for the past 4 years. Cooked everything from scratch, too. Loved it!

 

This year, I'll probably sulk on the couch at my in-laws' house. Can't imagine cooking anything. Thank goodness they don't mind.

 

We might have a potluck at our house for Christmas, if all goes well.

 

This is a lonely time. Everyone else is happy and they don't understand what I'm going through. And I'm really bummed out about not hosting the holidays this year. Maybe next year?

 

Best wishes to everyone. 

 

 

babyrex and mama,

 

It is true that benzos dictate our lives right now. I woke up at 2 am. Jacked up. Stayed awake for 3 hrs and finally went back to sleep for 2 hrs. That is what is so hard about this. You never know what you will feel like on any given day.

I really mean it about grabbing the good and going with it. The good days are short lived right now. If I started the t-giving thread today I would have written it differently. I am crabby and have a headache. I am not feeling friendly with the world. My hope for Thanksgiving is that I feel 1/2 as good as I did yesterday. It is hard to realize what happens to your mind. I was so optimistic yesterday. Today I feel like punching the drywall in. *sigh* I used to be normal.

We will get through this. I still feel optimistic.

 

Weak smile from Colorado

 

CC,

 

Sorry I halted what should have been a positive thread.  But  I wrote what was on my mind at that particular time.  While I'm not in a window, I do feel significantly better than I did last evening.  I hope I didn't jinx what should have been a positive thread! 

 

Positive!

 

I told my adult son I would not be able to put up a Christmas tree this year.  He went out to his storage unit and retrieved a table-top tree complete with lights.  Woo Hoo, I'm done! 

 

And thank God for pre-made Thanksgiving meals!  Yep!

 

Hope you feel better CC.

 

 

 

Well I'm makin a big dinner too. I know what you mean by we can turn on a dime. Its going to be a challenge but me and my 11 year old daughter will try to make it fun. I'm makin a 25 pound turkey, a ham, all the fixings and several eclairs and pies.  I hope this vertigo and dizziness goes so I can enjoy it better. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.