Reinstate?????

I'm still holding at 6 mgs of V after many weeks and I'm not stablzing... I'm thinking about just going back to xanax at a higher dose because that's where this all started I had been taking no more than.75mg of xanax for well over 12 yrs without upping my dose so my body was already in withdrawl from that.. My shrink wanted me off cuss she hates xanax , so I did a direct switch to V at first I was able to function but as time goes on I'm well over 60 days off xanax and same amount of time on V and I'm only getting worse on the V ..

 

I can barely function at times I don't know what to do , I also think maybe we tapered to fast I literally went from 10mgs to 7.5 within a few weeks then to 6 mgs .. Maybe my body is just catching up and that's why I feel so bad .. I dunno what to do , im . At jeopardy of losing my job , which would lead to my car and my home ... I'm getting so desperate  I just want to die !!

 

I'm not suicidal I'm just frustrated and scared.  I know if I have to go back on xanax my shrink won't help me. But my primary doc thinks I need to be on it .. ( that was his opinion before the swirch) .. Maybe some of us need it I have PTSD and panic disorder and seriously xanax was working with nothing else with it all that time until a few months ago , now I can barely get out the house or do random things ..

 

I'm so lost , I'm scared and I'm doing this alone ....

****** as of yesterday I've been off xanax 64 days and on V jus as long started at 10mgs ******

I'm sorry your having to endure this.  Withdrawal can be extremely confusing because we always second guess our decision.  I was someone who endured months and months of withdrawal torture then convinced myself I needed benzos and went back on them.  However when I reinstated the benzo's not only didn't work any more but they actually made me sicker than I've ever been.  Thats just my experience.  If you have ptsd and anxiety issues, like myself, the best thing you can do is come off the pills.  Take it from me, it is utterly impossible to make any progress emotionally while you are drugged up. 

 

Also you crossed over to a smaller dose of valium.  The valium equivalent of 0.75mg of xanax is 15mg.  So you would have felt a very big drop right away.  And then down to 6mg in a few weeks.  No wonder your feeling it!  Maybe you can up your dose to try an stabilize a bit more.  Then take it really slow, especially if you need to function for work. 

 

You will be okay.  When your tapering you just need to find a steady rhythm.  And a lot of rhythm is just accepting that your not going to be feeling all that great for awhile.  But you'll be okay.  Hang in there.  Let me know how things go. 

I'm sorry your having to endure this.  Withdrawal can be extremely confusing because we always second guess our decision.  I was someone who endured months and months of withdrawal torture then convinced myself I needed benzos and went back on them.  However when I reinstated the benzo's not only didn't work any more but they actually made me sicker than I've ever been.  Thats just my experience.  If you have ptsd and anxiety issues, like myself, the best thing you can do is come off the pills.  Take it from me, it is utterly impossible to make any progress emotionally while you are drugged up. 

 

Also you crossed over to a smaller dose of valium.  The valium equivalent of 0.75mg of xanax is 15mg.  So you would have felt a very big drop right away.  And then down to 6mg in a few weeks.  No wonder your feeling it!  Maybe you can up your dose to try an stabilize a bit more.  Then take it really slow, especially if you need to function for work. 

 

You will be okay.  When your tapering you just need to find a steady rhythm.  And a lot of rhythm is just accepting that your not going to be feeling all that great for awhile.  But you'll be okay.  Hang in there.  Let me know how things go. 

 

 

 

That's what I'm thinking too not the right dosing .. After I posted this I took a hot shower and just cried and cried which oddly gave me some relief .. I'm going to see my shrink Wednesday or just after the holidays and discuss it with her cuss at this point it's doing more harm than good I'm more of a mess than I've ever been in my entire journey .. I feel like I'm in purgatory    Thank you for your kind words 

aww I'm sorry your feeling this way.  Its good to have to cry though.  Withdrawal will do more harm than good initially but in the long run it will pay off.  And yes it very much purgatory.  But the next stop after purgatory is heaven.  But it is always best to make decisions with your doctor.  I wish you all the best. 

1mg Xanax is = 20mg Valium. So 0.75mg Xanax is = 15mg Valium. After being on Xanax for many years, a proper slow crossover was in order. Then, reducing the Valium slowly at first - I would say IMO no more than 0.5mg every 1-2 weeks initially just to see how you respond and then adjust accordingly. 

 

Taking these facts into consideration, I can fully understand why you aren't feeling well and losing functionality. No crossover, too low an initial Valium substitute, and too many big quick jumps.

 

As an option to reinstating the Xanax, have you considered increasing the Valium until you feel more stable, and then doing a very careful slow taper? I'm sure not everyone here is going to agree, but it is just one possibility as opposed to going back on Xanax. IF you can find a suitable Valium dose, then you can micro taper as long as you need to - as long as you are comfortable and functional the amount of time it takes should not be an issue for you. It may be one way to salvage both your taper and your functionality.

 

Just my thoughts on this.

Dear Miami,

 

This suck sucks sucks, but I encourage you to keep moving forward.  In the past, encouraged fellow buddies not to seek stability, as it is my opinion that is like chasing your shadow.  If I were you, I would maybe up my dose to 2.5 mg, 3x day and hold just for a few days.  Then every few days, take out 0.5mg from one dose.  You might hold for a little longer at times when you feel bad, but my experience and from what I have read from other buddies how well you feel is pretty random with respect to your cuts.  Sometimes a cut actually makes you feel better.  Most importantly, if I were you, I would stay on V 3 x/day until you get to 1.5mg; 3 little quarter pills.  That keeps you as even as possible while you withdraw.  I found it very easy to kick the last 1.5.  It did get harder after I was clean.

 

The important things is too keep going and get clean.  Then hang on.  You may be lucky and end withdrawal quickly, or it may take a while, but I promise you no good can come from going backward.  Benzos mess with every part of you.  The good news is the body is an amazing thing, and according to a chart I read and posted, 60% heal in 1 year or less, 31% more in the second year, and 7% more heal completely in the third.

 

I am 15 months clean, and not healed, but healing.

 

Hang in there, and believe me benzobuddies really helps when times are tough.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

I agree with NewMoon. It's important to find the "right" amount of valium from which to begin your taper. Then do a slow, sensible reduction. Hold for as long as you need to between cuts. Just my opinion, of course.

 

Once you are stabilized and begin your descent, I think you will find valium to be a nice, smooth, comfortable drug for tapering. At least I did. (I started this mess with xanax, was put on ativan and eventually crossed over to valium. Best decision I ever made).

 

It's not going to e easy -- you may hit a bad patch at the lower doses, as I did at 5 mg, but there are plenty of people here to advise you as to what to do then.

 

Good luck, and re-read NewMoon's post. She is always dead accurate on equivalencies.

 

Be well,

 

Okatz

 

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