whats it like after the final pill?

so i am (hopefully) nearing the end of what will probably be a 6-7 month taper. my withdrawal effects were bad at the start, then totally fine for months and now have returned near the end. its headaches, cog-fog, transient insomnia and light/noise sensitivity, jitters.  my question is, on average, will this get worse or better after the last pill and does it gradually ease up? haha, try not to scare me with protracted withdrawl horror stories, i'm looking for the mean or average experience.

I gotta tell ya, its not good my friend.

 

I was fine on a stable dose of valium and as I tapered things got progressively worse. Now, at 4.5 months off its an absolute nightmare. Pure unremitting hell. If they legalised euthanasia in Australia I'd be a candidate.

 

Just don't make any plans for the next year (or two) and find a quite room you can spend 99% of your time. It will likely end your life as you know it. You may get off lightly but if not then I don't know what to tell you.

 

Had I known the consequences I would never have tried to get off benzo's. Not worth it in my opinion.

 

I wish someone had been honest with me before I jumped off valium. All I got was the usual; You'll be better than ever before when you get off benzo's. You just need time and everything will be fine and dandy. Its good in theory but not true.

 

I feel very betrayed.

Well I have a different tale to tell. I got some not so nice w/ds after I jumped but nothing at all like what I experienced through my taper. I am having some feelings of agoraphobia. Also some pins and needles and burning nerves. Still blurry vision. Electric shocks. Sinus probs.

      But the only really distressing s/s is exhaustion. I am trapped in my body. I want to get up and going but my body has other ideas...lol.

        Anyway, don't worry too much. It's not that bad.. Really.        Pinkee

My jump from Xanax was completely anticlimactic…nothing happened except my 24/7 w/d headache went away the first benzo-free day.  I think if you've tapered slowly enough, nothing new should happen. 

 

Will you heal immediately?  Probably not, it takes quite some time for our central nervous systems to heal.  But hopefully you won't feel any worse when you jump.  That's part of what a slow taper is supposed to alleviate.

 

Look forward to your jump…it's a huge, huge accomplishment and we should each be so happy when we get there. 

 

Challis 

I wouldn't worry about some of the comments here. Yes, you used benzos for 7 years or so, but you did a crossover to a benzo with a longer halflife (Klonopin) and you did a sensible slow taper, making tiny cuts from 0.5 mg. of K, so you may not have as bad a withdrawal as some of us.

 

Everyone is different. I did a c/t and I'm still paying the price 8 days away from hitting the 6-month mark, but I've definitely gotten better. I don't like to predict how anyone will do because so many variables come into play -- your personality, your physiology, your taper and how you responded, your attitude, etc., etc. All I can say is what really has come to be my philosophy over the past six months: "It is what it is."

 

You can't change what's happening to you and you expend valuable emotional energy if you fight it, so just go with the flow.

 

Please keep us posted on how you do! Best wishes...

 

Your wd sx will probably wax and wane the way they did during your taper. One thing is for sure you will be glad to be off them and not fussing about dosages and taper rates. At times you may be tempted to reinstate. That will not heal you. Find other ways of dealing with sx and come here for support. We've all been through it and will know what you are going through. Good luck. 

It's really impossible to say. It's very individualized. It could go really well or it could be a struggle. Mine went pretty well. I braced for the worst but it wasn't what I expected. 

so i am (hopefully) nearing the end of what will probably be a 6-7 month taper. my withdrawal effects were bad at the start, then totally fine for months and now have returned near the end. its headaches, cog-fog, transient insomnia and light/noise sensitivity, jitters.  my question is, on average, will this get worse or better after the last pill and does it gradually ease up? haha, try not to scare me with protracted withdrawl horror stories, i'm looking for the mean or average experience.

According to your sig you are at .0625 mg or lower, which is about 1.25 mg of Valium (equivalent). That's not nothing, but it's 4 times what Tex was on when he jumped, and I did about the same thing.

 

Not saying people should jump - rather I'm saying that you are pretty close to off the drug, so there is no reason to assume you are going to get wacked. Think of each cut as a mini-jump to a new hold, so the final jump is to a permanent hold where you never have to cut again.

 

I think a lot of people expect to feel great immediately after the final cut/jump and are disappointed because life has other things in mind for us.

 

But please don't fear it just because some people have really bad experiences. It is different for each person.

Oh btw... Well done! U have succeeded in your taper. That is no mean feat!    U should be very proud of your achievement!         

I gotta tell ya, its not good my friend.

 

I was fine on a stable dose of valium and as I tapered things got progressively worse. Now, at 4.5 months off its an absolute nightmare. Pure unremitting hell. If they legalised euthanasia in Australia I'd be a candidate.

 

Just don't make any plans for the next year (or two) and find a quite room you can spend 99% of your time. It will likely end your life as you know it. You may get off lightly but if not then I don't know what to tell you.

 

Had I known the consequences I would never have tried to get off benzo's. Not worth it in my opinion.

 

I wish someone had been honest with me before I jumped off valium. All I got was the usual; You'll be better than ever before when you get off how . You just need time and everything will be fine and dandy. Its good in theory but not true.

 

I feel very betrayed.

Omg you just scared the hell out of me , I'm still on 0,25 of clonazepam and trying to get off , I'm terrified of how I'm gonna feel when I'm completely off benzos , if you say it's not even worth it than maybe I should just stay on it , I don't want to suffer anymore than I already am , is it possible to get off benzos and feel fine ? I'm feeling tottaly discouraged now but thanx for your honesty

You might get off lightly as some people do but you need to be prepared for the alternative which is a living hell. No way to sugar the bitter pill.

 

You won't know until you try it unfortunately. And yes, if I knew what was going to ensue I certainly wouldn't have come off benzo's. This year has been more frightening than I could've envisaged. In my case it hasn't been worth it but you may be lucky.

 

What I'll say is think very carefully before jumping off benzo's because it really can ruin your life.

 

I had a life on benzo's, I don't have one anymore now I'm off them. I'm a shadow of the person I was and I've lost nearly everything.

 

Some here have had it even worse than me, poor souls. I'm tempted to say don't jump because I wouldn't have if I knew the consequences.

 

But again, you may get off with mild discomfort. If so you should buy lotto tickets.

Quote by gaer:

According to your sig you are at .0625 mg or lower, which is about 1.25 mg of Valium (equivalent). That's not nothing, but it's 4 times what Tex was on when he jumped, and I did about the same thing.

 

Actually, I was on 5 mg. when I jumped, which would be the equivalent of four times as much as you are on, so you are taking far less than I was when I jumped c/t on May 26.

 

Hang in there. Regardless of what you are taking it could be relatively painless or it could be a living hell. We all respond differently and it doesn't hurt to be prepared for whatever happens. It will be what it will be...

so i am (hopefully) nearing the end of what will probably be a 6-7 month taper. my withdrawal effects were bad at the start, then totally fine for months and now have returned near the end. its headaches, cog-fog, transient insomnia and light/noise sensitivity, jitters.  my question is, on average, will this get worse or better after the last pill and does it gradually ease up? haha, try not to scare me with protracted withdrawl horror stories, i'm looking for the mean or average experience.

 

You might get off lightly as some people do but you need to be prepared for the alternative which is a living hell. No way to sugar the bitter pill.

 

You won't know until you try it unfortunately. And yes, if I knew what was going to ensue I certainly wouldn't have come off benzo's. This year has been more frightening than I could've envisaged. In my case it hasn't been worth it but you may be lucky.

 

What I'll say is think very carefully before jumping off benzo's because it really can ruin your life.

 

I had a life on benzo's, I don't have one anymore now I'm off them. I'm a shadow of the person I was and I've lost nearly everything.

 

Some here have had it even worse than me, poor souls. I'm tempted to say don't jump because I wouldn't have if I knew the consequences.

 

But again, you may get off with mild discomfort. If so you should buy lotto tickets.

 

frogger,

i have not seen one post here exept Gussy's, where people came back and told us getting off

Benzos has ruined their lives.

of course if you haven't got the time to wait it out thats another story then.

 

gussy , suppose you take a flight from sydney to Ho Chi Minh (Vietnam) and it takes

8 hrs and 20 minutes but you are so impatient because you want to do it in 3 hrs 20.

well its impossible , you will never make it and you will have to return to Sydney.

 

thats the way i compare your benzo wd. 

Morreweg-

I think Gussy is just honestly sharing his thoughts and experience.  He's frustrated because to him his life seems ruined.  He's a young guy. 

 

Maybe you could share your progress since getting off.  Are you much better after a year?  You are always so encouraging to everyone, I was wondering how you were doing. Where would you personally put your level of healing? Do you leave your home and function? Of course if you prefer not to, that's your business.

 

I'm still on a relatively small dose (a little under .2 ativan), and continue to work but don't feel great all the time.  I suspect I'll feel much worse for a while after getting fully off and just hope I can work because it will mean disaster for my family if I can't.

 

I think actual personal experiences are helpful, that's all.

 

I hope people who have had decent experiences will post. As well as people who are doing slow microtapers and are feeling good.

 

Look at Bart. He tapered down slowly and was OK.

 

I don't think jumping off at .5 mg of valium is a good idea. Why not reduce the dose a little more? Why not aim to feel OK before you jump? This is NOT A RACE. I think that the way you feel as you approach zero is the way you are going to feel for quite some time afterwards . . . and it's within your control how you feel on the way down. Go slower. Make smaller cuts. Hold if you have to. At least that's what I choose to believe based on experiences of those who tapered this way. Look at Diaz-Pam. She's slow tapering and is OK. She's going to feel OK when she jumps.

 

So yes, you may feel like crap. But if you manage your taper so it's slow and you experience few s/x I think you will have a better chance to NOT feel like crap.

 

Just my naïve thoughts.

 

I wish you the best.

 

Okatz

Morreweg-

I think Gussy is just honestly sharing his thoughts and experience.  He's frustrated because to him his life seems ruined.  He's a young guy. 

 

Maybe you could share your progress since getting off.  Are you much better after a year?  You are always so encouraging to everyone, I was wondering how you were doing. Where would you personally put your level of healing? Do you leave your home and function? Of course if you prefer not to, that's your business.

 

I'm still on a relatively small dose (a little under .2 ativan), and continue to work but don't feel great all the time.  I suspect I'll feel much worse for a while after getting fully off and just hope I can work because it will mean disaster for my family if I can't.

 

I think actual personal experiences are helpful, that's all.

 

 

bobo519,

i like Gussy and he is not such a young guy if i remember right. over 40 i think ?

but never mind , i shall answer your question.

 

i had a very bad detox over a year ago. everything was damaged exept my IQ thanks god.

all the sxs you have ever heard of , i had them and now at 12 months off , i feel like

a rebirth . i am still in a lot of pain, my body, my head, my vision but my sleep has returned after

5 years and its a natural sleep not a Benzo- sleep. (7-8hrs, sometimes even 9)

 

today i had my first ''little walk'' and i can feel i shall be all right again. i expect it will take

another 4-6 months in my case, but i am sure next year i shall be back to my gym again.

 

so you see, even bad cases like mine can make it and i am not ''hoping'' no, i ''know''it.

and i aslo know that you can't fly in 3 hrs and 20 min. to vietnam.

 

i hope none of you will ever take a Benzo again because its worth it .

I wouldn't dwell on the horror stories I've seen plenty of posts around here saying their jump was fairly anti-climactic, in the sense that it wasn't all that much different then how they felt when tapering. I would say - think back on a cut that you made that was especially difficult, use that for comparison for jumping, and then, perhaps you will be pleasantly surprised. Your taper was very sensible. I am jumping next week, I'm at a very low dose of Valium, and this is how I've been preparing for it in my mind!

 

 

We're rooting for ya! Let us know your progress

-LF

Yes, I'm a couple of months out and anti-climactic probably best describes my experience. My symptoms have waxed and waned in almost exactly the same way that they did when I was tapering. Funny - I was convinced it was the cuts whilst tapering but actually I think it's just the natural oscillation of symptoms.

 

I've had a few really good days when I've thought I was well on the way to recovery and then I've had some days, like today in fact, when I feel every bit as lousy as I ever did on the taper.  This has never been a nightmare, as some describe. Unpleasant, seemingly interminable, yes, but the gates of hell have not opened for me, thank God.

 

Symptoms for the record - head and face pain, cog fog, emotional blunting, apathy, anxiety and no doubt a few others. It sucks but it's do-able.

My jump was no different than my last cut.  It was uneventful for me.  Not everyone has a rough time post taper.  Good luck!

I  remember the morning I  jumped I  was filed with hope and felt like a weight had been lifted.  the  first week after my jump I  felt great. I  couldn't see what all the fuss was about.  then it hit me.  good news is  it passed  and at 11  months  now  I'm 99%  healed.

 

hang in there.  it gets easier  every day.  before you know it  you'll  be  back to normal.  the good thing is that your brain has a way of blocking out traumatic experiences.  while I know that this has sucked I can no longer remember what it felt like. it's almost like this was all just a bad dream.

 

this may sound silly but I even feel like I'm a better stronger person for going thru this. I  no longer take anything fir granted. I  no longer let silly things stress me out or  cause  anxiety

As others have said, no need to worry like that. I jumped 18 day's ago.. Clonazepam for almost 10 years. I tapered for 12 months. I'm still alive!

 

Everyone is individual. I think the best answer is you "may" experience waves of up's and down's for a while but that is NORMAL. I felt amazing for the first couple days than a wave hit me. The main thing is you will be off this garbage!!  You should be proud of your self.

 

I too was scared of what it was like to jump but no matter what I knew It had to be done and it was for the best. What a sense of freedom being off after so many years!!!

 

For me it's not been a cake walk at all but I must keep my head up. You will survive this!!!!!  Focus on positive stories. If you are sick for a while I'm sorry but it just has to play out, it's not your fault.? It sucks but you made it!!  If I can do it, you can do it!! We all feel the same I'm sure.

 

 

Take care,

 

 

Fonz

Not so young, I'm 37 actually

 

As a qualifier I did have mental issues before going on benzo's but they were manageable most of the time. I was able to live a relatively normal life. Valium actually helped my OCD and co morbid depression and maybe thats one reason I've had such a hard time. Too put things into perspective I've been to the ER more times since I started my taper and after jumping than most do in a life time. I NEVER needed the ER pre benzo.

 

Maybe impatience is a factor but the reality is many people are still seriously ill 2-3 years after jumping. Thats a lot of time to sacrifice for rewards that are not set in stone.

 

Also there are many examples of people who remain happy and functional on benzo's for 20-30 years. They are more numerous than those who have problems while on them.

 

The shit tends to hit the fan while coming off these drugs.

 

If your doing ok on benzo's I would say stay on. There's nothing good about coming off them. You don't 'get your life back' after jumping, you lose it.

 

I love this site and the kind people on it but don't forget, its biased. What about all the people I mentioned you are living productive and content lives on benzo's for decades?

 

If they attempted to taper off they'd probably go through hell too but they're living out they're lives without the pain we've inflicted on ourselves.

 

I'm really not convinced that some of us don't 'really need' to be on benzo's for life. Not for physical survival obviously but for quality of life. As I said valium actually helped with my OCD. The reason I got off was I was brainwashed into thinking I'd feel better off benzo's and my life would be richer.

 

ES IST NICHT WAHR, Morreweg!

 

I've actually flown between Melbourne and Ho Chi Minh (Saigon). I didn't mind the long flight because the drinks on the flight were free.

Gussy, with all due respect to your circumstances, even though this site it "biased", your posts on here make me uneasy, it feels like you're kinda pushing the envelope just a bit too much towards just staying on benzos....

I don't want to start up the old "yes vs no" to benzo use debate, I'm just thinking since your circumstances are a bit different maybe you should be extra careful what you say or something, I don't know what the answer would be for this though...

I hope you understand what I'm saying, I know you have your personal reasons and need some support too, I'm not trying to be ugly

I'm not responding, anyone that knows me by now knows how I feel