losing control of my life

[[Buddie]]

Thanks [...].  I did read the list and you know what happens if you expect things to happen....I do think the positives have outweighed the negatives so far.  And having bp under control should help ease my heart fears.

[...] you have a great memory.  I lost my uncle in 2012 to a massive heart attack at 60.  My grandma died a month later of failing health at 80.  ive seen My father in law go through 4 heart attacks and he is in the hospital again now because he is nearing the end.   i think all this heart trauma has gotten to me and it is my biggest  fear that i will join the club even though i am doing the right things and have been tested and recieved good results.    my problem is that i cannot get it out of mind or stop obsessing on it....and i make myself sick.

[[Buddie]]

Hey old pal sorry to see your still stuck on this stuff.  Hope you finally get the strength to get through this taper life is amazing when your off you just have to start the journey.

Lizzy
 

[[Buddie]]

Hi Lizzy

I agree i need to get my ass in gear.

[[Buddie]]

yes mate get yourself together and get off this shit honestly you can do this your already living in fear just step it up a notch and get off you can do this. 

[[Buddie]]

Nick..Lizzy is right.  You can do it.  I see lots of similarities with what I've dealt with and I am doing it.  Close to 5 months off the Ativan.

[[Buddie]]

I am getting this too, and im titrating off lorazepam. I had pvcs before the lorazepam, but it helped calm them down as well as my near constant tachycardia. Now im withdrawing (only managed to get to 14.5mgs off so far...) Im getting a heavy chest, aches all over, fast pounding heart rate and feeling like I suddenly cant breathe, and loads of pvcs. Had heart scan and its healthy, but am very scared about these heart symptoms

[[Buddie]]

Very normal to be scared. Been there done that.  If the Doc says your heart is fine, just remember that.

[[Buddie]]

I know i just need to grow some, my biggest fear is not being able to work.  i work for a national company and there are alot of protections so maybe its best i talk to HR about it.  i think it falls under the Americans with Disabilities Act. 


[...] i am sorry for what you are going through.  the heart crap is just overwhelming sometimes.  if we didnt need the darn thing to keep us alive....i wouldnt even care.

[[Buddie]]

Sorry to hear.

I was diagnosed with PVC's as well. I was given an EKG/Heart holster monitor and a stress test. Results were PVC but my heart was in great condition. I only ever noticed the PVC's during withdrawal but the doctors completely ignored the idea of it being benzo related.

Benzo's aside I suffered from Panic Disorder for years and heart attack was one of my main concerns. No matter how much I'd try to convince my self that my heart was fine I could never shake it. This being said I discovered a way to control the thoughts/fear. I decided to educate my self in detail to what a heart attack truly is and how and why it happens. After actually understanding what it's all about it was clear as day to me that there is no reason for my body to produce such a scenario. In my case, I'm not overweight, I don't smoke, and I don't live on garbage food. My only issue is prescription drugs.  Here is a video to get you started: (warning it may make you anxious at first but educational) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwlFcP24nHQ

I'd also suggest learning skills to relax/control anxiety/breathing and negative thoughts. These skills need to be practiced daily with no excuses. I'll admit, they are annoying and seem useless but it works

Take care,


[...]

[[Buddie]]

Thank you [...]...i will check that out.  I need to do more positive reinforcement and practice.  Especially having breathing issues in the car..dont know why but i gotta get past that ..