missed family functions

Hi to all. Any of you miss family functions because of WD?  Today my daughter is running in a marathon downtown and I won't be able to go because of WD.  We would have to park very far from the finish line and te sensory stimulation would be too much.  I feel really sad, but what can I do?

 

Snufi

hi Snufi,

i know how you must feel but please keep in mind that its a temporary situation and

once your wd is over you will enjoy life again .

and who knows ? may be your daughter will run another marathon again

and you will be able to take part.

think of the good years ahead and don't be sad. this will change.

love claudia

I had this problem from the beginning. It messed up my last Christmas, and I'm worried about this Christmas. I don't blame my family for being upset because I have no rational explanation for them.

 

I tried to explain to one family member and was met with a blank stare and disbelief. I later got feedback that this person thinks I am bipolar. A condition that others cannot relate to is usually misdiagnosed, even by doctors.

 

I don't have agoraphobia because I work. But that is stressful enough that I don't want to add the stress of family functions. My hobbies have gone in the toilet also, so I don't have the guilt that it is just the family.

I've backed out of going to weddings, parties, you name it. You have to focus on getting better first and foremost. I used to feel bad about it but "when in doubt, the answer is no" has been a huge part of my recovery.

  I backed out of going to Disneyland with my granddaughter because of the damm WD!!! That was into the first couple of months of WD tho. As I heal I have been going and going a lot!!! Healing is happening!!!    Jude

Hi to all. Any of you miss family functions because of WD?  Today my daughter is running in a marathon downtown and I won't be able to go because of WD.  We would have to park very far from the finish line and te sensory stimulation would be too much.  I feel really sad, but what can I do?

 

Snufi

My advice is to go to a function,(if you physically can)see what happens. I did and the distraction was positive. I really didn't think i could do it. I forced myself and it paid off. I keep doing things I don't want to do and don't feel like doing and each time(which is several times a day) and I'm always glad I did.

I tend to agree with Gizmo to go to functions. However, I would add that you should go to those that you feel comfortable doing. My wife's uncle is having a 75th birthday party on Saturday, Oct. 19 in a town about 35 miles from here. I've told her that I might go, but I'll have to wait and see how I am on the 19th, since right now at day 133 I am up one day and down the next, going through so many changes. She's cool about it. Then, one of her cousins is getting married on Saturday, Oct. 26, and that's at a place I know and feel comfortable, so I'll probably go to that, since I can pretty much sit off to the side and nurse a beer while my wife visits her cousins, aunts and uncles.

 

So, pick and choose. I've been going out to things, but on my own terms. I usually feel pretty good. However, I am ever mindful of two days over Labor Day weekend when I really overdid it at my wife's family reunion on her mother's side of the family. I really did a lot on Saturday and Sunday, then woke up Labor Day Monday being totally in a wave that lasted three weeks. I was right at 3 months, so on time for the traditional 3-month wave, but I'm also sure that overdoing things contributed to the wave's intensity and duration.

 

Go out and have fun. You do benefit from it. But do it on your own terms...

 

Best wishes!

 

 

My advice is to go to a function,(if you physically can)see what happens. I did and the distraction was positive. I really didn't think i could do it. I forced myself and it paid off. I keep doing things I don't want to do and don't feel like doing and each time(which is several times a day) and I'm always glad I did.

 

Yes, go and do as much as you can. Try and push yourself.  I believe this helps us retrain our body and mind and aids in recovery. I have no choice but to go to everything as my wife and kids would be disappointed if I didn't. So far in w/d I've had to force myself to do family vacations, camping trips, state fair, school fundraisers, carnivals, family dinners out at restaurants, birthday parties, nature hikes, parades and other events. Most every one was difficult battling through DR, dizziness, nausea, breathing issues, anxiety, etc...... But I made it through, came home, settled down and recovered. Sometimes it took days. Now when things rev up if I come home to relax again away from stimulation it goes away within hours many times. I tell myself during the times I do feel awful at an event that I'm not going to die even though it is super uncomfortable.

 

The only thing I would advise against forcing yourself to do is strenuous exercise. My body tells me it will only pretty much walk for now. If I try even half of my normal jogging route symptoms ramp up way too much and I can feel bad for days after.

 

Good luck with the events you try! Start off easy and see how things go. Take care! 

My relatives don't really understand what w/d means, they kinda laugh. They get upset if they see me crying. I almost had a panic attack today after finishing taper a week ago. Last night I couldn't sleep because some rude neighbor brats were having a loud party all night...That upset me so much and made me feel a lot of anxiety. They think I overreact

I should add that since you are still in acute w/d or just finishing that stage at 6 weeks or so, you are obviously only going to be able to do smaller things at first.

 

I remember having to go on a vacation at around 4 or 5 weeks into my cold/turkey. Family, kids and all. 3 hour drive each way (as a passenger, no way I could drive at that time) and 2 nights in a hotel along with all the activities while we were there. Don't think I've ever been so miserable in my life! That was no fun.

 

Anyhow, since it is so early I can see how being elbow to elbow in a crowd of people would be overwhelming. It was for me at 6 months off at the state fair! Take care!

My relatives don't really understand what w/d means, they kinda laugh. They get upset if they see me crying. I almost had a panic attack today after finishing taper a week ago. Last night I couldn't sleep because some rude neighbor brats were having a loud party all night...That upset me so much and made me feel a lot of anxiety. They think I overreact

I should add that since you are still in acute w/d or just finishing that stage at 6 weeks or so, you are obviously only going to be able to do smaller things at first.

 

I remember having to go on a vacation at around 4 or 5 weeks into my cold/turkey. Family, kids and all. 3 hour drive each way (as a passenger, no way I could drive at that time) and 2 nights in a hotel along with all the activities while we were there. Don't think I've ever been so miserable in my life! That was no fun.

 

Anyhow, since it is so early I can see how being elbow to elbow in a crowd of people would be overwhelming. It was for me at 6 months off at the state fair! Take care!

DIDOU.  SX are bad the first weeks during acute. Not much sleep,magnified anxiety. I did a lot of walking during acute. It seems almost to long ago to remember.ALMOST.

DISTRACTIONS lots of DISTRACTIONS. 

Honesty helped me. I just told people I was having some "medical problems." No one ever asked what they were.

 

OP, when it comes to sensory overload, dark glasses and a pair of heavy duty earplugs work.