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Just wanted to share something that I was told in dealing with anxiety and adrenaline. One negative/fearful thought can flood your body with adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress hormones. This will bring on anxiety symptoms or make your existing symptoms of anxiety worse. So, next time your thoughts are making things worse....get up and walk around for 3-5 minutes. This helps with all the adrenaline flooding your body. While you are walking....change the channel in your mind. Just like when you don't like what is on a certain TV channel and you change it to something else you like, do the same with your thoughts. Get them on something positive or true, even start singing a song! It is hard to do at first, but the more you practice this technique, the more you see it works!

 

Lori

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That was great, Lori.  I never thought about singing but that would change my focus for sure. Thank you so much.  ;D

 

There are still people who don't believe that our thoughts affect our bodies but that adrenaline thing is a good example of how it happens.  Knowing how to change that around is crucial to keep from panicing.

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I have really been struggling with this type of anxiety. I was so glad to read this! Thank you! The thing is, when I would read about others getting adrenaline surges and anxiety, I thought 'Well...maybe their adrenaline surges are different...maybe they're experiencing random anxiety coming on - but maybe it isn't started off with any particular thought...' because with me, when tapering off Klonopin, and even now that I am free and have been for four months, my anxious feelings and adrenaline surges start off as thoughts.  So I wasn't sure if it was just my normal response to an unwanted thought, or if it was made much much worse by the w/d.  Because the thoughts I get throughout the day (and at night when trying to sleep) are the type of thoughts that would give me, or the average person, anxiety anyway, it was extremely difficult to know if it was the thoughts making me have these wretched adrenaline surges and horrid anxiety, or if it was that the w/d was magnifying them.  I was searching these posts looking for others who may be experiencing what I have been, and then read this.  I tend to think that others will have an easier time, or that things will work out for others, but not for me.  :P  So was I glad to read this! I know I cannot remember feeling THIS much panic and anxiety before going through all of this, so it helps tremendously to know that it is the w/d making these anxious thoughts worse...because that means with time, it will get better!  :)

 

I am SO much better than when I was tapering.  As weird as this sounds, I just got anxiety even typing that, because right off I got scared to admit it, in case I feel worse later. Ha! I know, I know...the things anxiety can make a person think and feel - unbelievable!  :laugh:

 

Kimba =^..^=

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I am SO much better than when I was tapering.  As weird as this sounds, I just got anxiety even typing that, because right off I got scared to admit it, in case I feel worse later. Ha! I know, I know...the things anxiety can make a person think and feel - unbelievable!  :laugh:

 

Kimba =^..^=

 

It's the old "don't tempt the gods" thing, Kimba.  I know it well.  :laugh:

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Kimba... I am sooo glad that this helps you! Yes, one little thought can shoot adrenaline thru our body. And if we are having constant/record playing worrisome thoughts we make things worse. Our thoughts can be our worst enemies. I am terrible about "what if" thoughts...what if my headache is a brain tumor, what if my tremors mean I have Parkinson's like my aunt, etc. When I think those thoughts, I can actually feel the adrenaline being released thru my body. All that adrenaline builds up and causes so many anxiety symptoms/panic attacks. That is why walking is good; it gets rid of the extra adrenaline. I use to not move when I had a panic attack or bad anxiety symptoms. Now I know that the opposite is true; walk around your living room or kitchen, fold the laundry, etc., get up and do something physical. Stop those horrid thoughts and focus on good things. Think of all the things you have to be thankful for.

 

Introspection is the worst! Analyzing our every little anxiety symptom is what I can do best. Today, I am having bad back pain on one side. But, instead of focusing on it and laying in the bed all delicate like, I knew a woman who is going thru a hard time and I took her a book that I pray will help her in some way. I spent over an hour talking with her in her home and letting her tell me what she is struggling with. Even with withdrawal symptoms and having social anxiety (which, actually was awesome because there are some ways to think differently about that), I had the biggest smile on my face when I left her house and joy in my heart. I went on to the grocery store and the man who bags the groceries (I know him) asked how I was doing and I was beaming. I told him that my back is cramping up, but I feel great!! He even said that I looked like I was doing great! All to say, when we are focusing so much on ourselves (which is easy to do as we are tapering off benzos), I think we can make our symptoms worse. Instead, find someone else to help out, get up and do that project you have been putting off, etc. and we will get through this!!

 

The mind/body thing is real. I truly believe that anxiety is not an illness, but bad habits or bad behaviours that we have developed in our life. The grocery school, other people, our jobs, are not our biggest problems or obstacles....our thoughts are. Anxiety is like being in a prison in our minds and we have the key to break out! And the key is not benzos!!! OUR THOUGHT LIFE is the key!!

 

Lori

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Lori Lee:

 

I agree! And one little thought and that adrenaline shoots right through my body. It feels just like tiny little bubbles running up and down in the very marrow of my bones. It's that wretched fight or flight feeling and it is horrible. I have always been pretty introspective and so I can usually tell what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, etc. And that is not always a good thing! Because like you said, introspection is the worst! It can be a wonderful trait to have, of course. But again like you said, the over-analyzing of every thought or symptom...that gets real old, real fast.  :sick:

 

I'm the same way with 'what if' thoughts. And my mother has always said what you said in your post - getting up and doing something helps.  She will clean or cook. ;) I've always been the type to 'freeze' when I got terrible anxiety, so I am trying not to dwell on it, and instead trying to do something to distract my mind. My mind is my worst enemy. I'm always analyzing myself, what I'm feeling, thinking, what point I am at in my life, you name it. People tell me that I seem to know myself very well...but I'm not always so sure that it's such a good thing. :laugh:  I envy people who just 'live' their lives w/o always thinking about it.

 

I feel so much better just knowing that others experience this with their w/d. Benzo w/d really does magnify these anxious feelings. But it has gotten better now that I am nearing my fifth month of being Klonopin free.  :)

 

Kimba =^..^=

 

 

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HI,

Just thought I'd share.I also truly believe that our thoughts control much in our lives. Even the little thoughts we barely notice. Once you start to pay close attention to your thoughts you realize how many negative thoughts you have in a day. It can be something as small as a passing thought when you look at someone.else. We hold all this in our self's,every little negative thought remains in our memory and  reflects back. It's like being around someone who sucks all the energy out of a room. Or someone who puts you on the defense right away and you don't know why. This is all so draining,if you get that all day long ,by the end of the day you're a wreck.I take a lot of meditation classes and one of our projects was to write down all thoughts. Pretty long list, you don't even realize half the stuff. Then we had to take a day and only think positive about each of those same things. It was so much harder to come up with the positive than the negative for everyone. It took much more thought. That's kind of sad. I've known people with stage 4 cancer given three months to live , live another 4 years just by their will alone. If they can do that,we can certainly do what lies ahead of us. I'm glad there are people here who believe this way. So many don't. :smitten: Kel

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Kimba,

I feel like I am looking in the mirror when I read what you wrote. Do you have hypocondria as well?? I hope not, but we have a lot in common. I think that many of us with anxiety issues have many of the same personal characteristics. Some very good ones. Someone told me that you know how when you studied for a test in school and you studied for so many hours your brain just got so tired? Well, it's even worse when we are introspective and we are studying OURSELVES all day long!! How tired our mind can get from all that studying! I also hope to one day be like others as you said, who live their lives without really thinking about it. I feel like I am on RED ALERT about every little thing inside and ouside of my body. Just remember, anxiety will pull us into our brains our thoughts and we can get trapped there. It's like getting lost in a "bad neighborhood" while driving your car. That is why we need to try to think of the positives, anything to be thankful about, etc. like haljes said! And to keep busy. Boredom is NOT good for us introspective people! Are you alone a lot? I am. Our boys are in high school and my husband works long hours. I stay at home. My best friend went back to work over a year ago, so I don't meet her at the gym during the week anymore. I quit the gym last August and was so isolated and that is when things really went downhill for me. So, the best thing to do is to get up and do errands, projects (like I have on my list to clean our garage windows which are full of spider webs and dead flies), anything to keep busy. I try to sing, pray, push the "what ifs" thoughts out of my mind, and be positive and thankful. This definately takes practice because the habit of introspection, what if thoughts, and negativity are learned habits/behaviors that I have done most of my life!! Let's both encourage each other to stop our bad thinking habits!! What do we have to lose, except anxiety!!!

 

What do you do, haljes, in your meditation classes? I have never done any meditation and I was curious. Would you rather me call you Kel??

 

Lori

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I feel like I am on RED ALERT about every little thing inside and ouside of my body. Just remember, anxiety will pull us into our brains our thoughts and we can get trapped there. It's like getting lost in a "bad neighborhood" while driving your car. That is why we need to try to think of the positives, anything to be thankful about, etc. like haljes said!

 

I just love the analogies you come up with; toxic or obsessive thinking is like being in a bad neighborhood of the brain.  I used to be on red alert all the time, too, but didn't have the sense to know what was going on.  We all need that balance of not focusing on ourselves too much but still being aware of our thoughts and feelings in case they are driving us to that bad neighborhood again.

 

And to keep busy. Boredom is NOT good for us introspective people! Are you alone a lot? I am. Our boys are in high school and my husband works long hours. I stay at home. My best friend went back to work over a year ago, so I don't meet her at the gym during the week anymore. I quit the gym last August and was so isolated and that is when things really went downhill for me. So, the best thing to do is to get up and do errands, projects (like I have on my list to clean our garage windows which are full of spider webs and dead flies), anything to keep busy. I try to sing, pray, push the "what ifs" thoughts out of my mind, and be positive and thankful. This definately takes practice because the habit of introspection, what if thoughts, and negativity are learned habits/behaviors that I have done most of my life!! Let's both encourage each other to stop our bad thinking habits!! What do we have to lose, except anxiety!!!

 

Another insightful observation!  Most of my life I thought that if I thought something was true, it was true.  That included thoughts like "I am never going to feel any better", for instance.  I know we can program our brains with either negative or positive messages.  From what I've read, the brain doesn't have the wherewithal to determine true vs false so just reacts as if the thought is true.  THe good news is that the brain does the same thing with the positive thoughts we have, even if we don't believe they are true! So, if I can change that thought to "I am getting better every day", even if I don't believe it yet or see the evidence, my brain and body will respond and make me better every day.  Pretty nifty when you think about it.  ;)

 

Since you mentioned practicing thankfulness in particular, I wonder if you were have heard about creating a gratitude journal.  There are lots of websites and books about it so it can be more involving if you want it to, but it's basically making a habit of listing a set number of things you are grateful for every day, including (or especially) on those really down days.  I think Oprah writes something like 14 things every day.  I'm only on 5 but that's up from the 3/day I started with! It definetly refocuses your thoughts.

 

BTW, when you are through with your garage, do you think you could come do mine?  :laugh:

 

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Hey Beeper,

I can't take credit for all my analogies. Not trying to plug someone or tell anyone to buy this, but I came across a CD series called Anxiety Busters by a Dr. Ronnie Freedman. She had anxiety issues for over 20 years. I have talked on the phone with her for 3 sessions (costs $$) and she has helped me so much. Most of what I have said has come from her CD's or the phone conversations that we have had. It is not always easy to use her techniques yet, because w/d is so physical. But it does help to some extent right now. I want to know her info so much that when I am off the klonopin, I can use her training to not have to be on any med. ever again for anxiety. She was the one who told me about the "bad neighborhood" and "change the channel in your mind." Next phone session I have with her, I plan on telling her about this forum and that I have shared some of her teachings. I hope she doesn't mind. I would and have shared them with people I know in person, so why not on here?

 

A gratitude journal is a wonderful idea! To write down each day as many of the things we can think of to be thankful for is a very positive thing!

 

Oh...never got around to those windows. Went to my mom's house instead and had a nice visit. I guess it will just have to be on tomorrow's list!!

 

Lori

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Oh...never got around to those windows. Went to my mom's house instead and had a nice visit. I guess it will just have to be on tomorrow's list!!

 

Lori

 

Great choice!  Chores should always take a backseat to people IMO. Wish my mom was still around so I could visit her.

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Hi Lori Lee  :)

 

I used to worry about every single physical symptom I ever got years ago, but over time I stopped doing that. But the analyzing of myself and my emotions and thoughts...that is something I have always done and still do, and it isn't a good thing I found when tapering!  :laugh:

 

I totally agree with you on those who are introspective and studying themselves all the time...how exhausting that can be. It is like we are over stimulated all the time. So we can get mentally tired sooner than others. I know that crowds and busy social functions can be more tiring to me so that when the event or function is over, I need to have time to 'go think'. But I have friends who are totally different and after say, a party, they'll want to go do other things. I on the other hand, want to go home. Or even with shopping...they will be able to go from store to store and spend hours there...and then after all of that, still go to do other functions. They feel better being around lots of activity...whereas I need time away from that type of environment. I know that neither is right and neither is wrong - they are just different. But I do wish I could be the other way! I get tired of always analyzing myself...sometimes it is like I'm watching myself like it's a dream that I'm in, instead of just really living my life like others do. 

 

You are right - for people like us, boredom is not a good thing! I too am alone a lot right now, and it has not helped much. I know I needed some solitude during the w/d, and I'm trying to get 'out' more, but it's not easy, since situations/issues in my life right now, I am isolated much more than I used to be, which is the main reason for a lot of my depression and anxiety.  I went to lunch and shopping a bit with my sister yesterday - we went to Wal-mart, too. That is not the best type of store for me to be in when still getting w/d s/x! I am much better than I was months ago (I am almost on my 5th month of being Klonopin free) but I could tell when in the store that I was not quite how I used to be. It was tolerable, but it was like when you have the flu and still feel 'out of sorts' if you get up and about. It was the 'over-stimulation' thing, and like you said being on Red-Alert all the time. The lights were too bright, the noise level too high, too many people were around, and that is something that can tire me out enough as it is, but when healing from benzos, it is made much worse.  I just accepted it, and kept relaxed thinking that at least I was better than I was when tapering! ;) 

 

It's good to know there are others out there who think like I do, and who especially understand the introspective thing, and who are going through similar!  :)

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Kimba,

I know what you mean about becoming menatally drained/fatigued very easily! Even after my visit with my mom, I left there tired. I have the problem of getting my adrenaline aroused when I talk to people. I guess I feel like I have to be "on" all the time, kind of thing. Like I am the one making sure that the conversation goes on, do most of the talking, have a smile on my face, etc. It can be very draining. Mentally and physically.

 

When you said you went to Walmart and you still felt out of sorts, I had a question. Did you suffer at any point from agoraphobia (or whatever the word is for having anxiety when going places/not wanting to leave your house)? If you did, or if you got to the point where you still went to the store/bank, etc. but it was VERY difficult like it had gotten for me...here's some advice I got from Dr. Freedman. Those of us who suffer from anxiety, have the tendancy to make people or places scary because we worrry about how we might REACT in the store or around a person. It's never the place or person that is "bad", but it is what I tell myself BEFORE I go to the place or what I tell myself when I am IN the place that is the problem. See what I am trying to say?? Through my negative thought life, I get my adrenaline going by being scared to go to the grocery store (for example). I start thinking, what happens if I have a panic attack in there, what if I have that trapped feeling when I stand in line at the register and can't run out, or what if I see someone that I know and I turn red when I am talking to them, etc. All these worrisome thoughts before I even leave my house has my adrenaline sky-high, so my body has all the anxiety symptoms going on (tight muscles, shaky hands, shortness of breath), and I am not even at the store yet. Then, I get to the store and get my groceries as quick as I can, praying that I don't bump into anyone I know (live in a small town), pray that the line isn't long at the check out, load the groceries into my car as quick as possible, and breathe a sigh of relief once I am in my car about to drive home. I made my car my "safe place" when the real fact is, I carry my "safe place" with me where ever I go. I am my own comfort zone. It is all about my THOUGHTS!! If the grocery store was such a "bad" place, then NO ONE would ever go to the grocery store!!! It's not the place, it's the thoughts in my mind! Now, I am slowly learning to think differently before I go to the store. Positive thoughts and pray for strength and peace. The last week, even with w/d, I have had the BEST time going to the grocery store. Talking to people I bump into and the check out people who work there! It is totally amazing and empowering (to be totally honest). I feel like I am getting stronger, mentally, everyday. I have struggled with social anxiety since atleast the 6th grade. Benzos, at first, helped me with the social anxiety and fear of going places, but anxiety is bad habits/bad learned behaviors that I believe and have told myself for years. NO MORE! I don't just have the desire to be free from Benzos, but I have the desire to be a strong woman; not scared of places or people and the key is what we think!

 

I am so excited, so I have to share this. Our oldest son is a senior in high school and we found out today that he made the homecoming court. 8 guys and 8 girls are on it. What that means, is that the moms escort their sons, and the dads escort their daughters. When he told me last week that he had won for his homeroom (the first step), and that he might make the court, my first reaction was fear! I can't walk you down that football field. I will be so shaky and nervous, that I'll probably pass out. But, since changing my thoughts over the last week and gaining some confidence and seeing that things are changing, I was THRILLED when he told me today he was nominated! It's not the people in the stands or the stadium itself that I am scared of...it is my thoughts on how I might react in the middle of it all. So, positive thinking, praying, etc. and knowing that I am in control of my thoughts; I can choose good ones or bad ones and by choosing the good ones, my body doesn't get that adrenaline rush which creates all the anxiety symptoms, and I can have confidence and enjoy things like this, instead of fearing them.

 

Maybe this doesn't apply to you directly Kimba, but I hope it helps someone who is coming off of or is already off the Benzos and is still having social anxiety. Not wanting to go on any meds. ever again, but not knowing how to not have social anxiety....maybe this advice that I was given and am using can help. I want to get to such a desensitized place, that anxiety has a very hard time trying to get in. And, when the least little bit does, it can be easily stopped with my decision to think differently. Flush the "what if" and instrospective thinking in the toilet!!!  :thumbsup: 

 

Lori

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Hey there Lori!

 

I LOVED your post! The last few days haven't been too good, so I was off this forum. Ugh! I'll reply soon, though!

 

Hope you're doing well!  :)

 

Kimba =^..^=

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Hey Kimba,

I'm sorry that the last few days have been hard for you. I have noticed that I can be up and then I can come way down. On this taper (my second), I have had the worst headaches. Was never much of a headache person before. It actually hurts my temples, ears, upper jaw and hard for me to open my mouth wide, and that squeezing feeling around my face and back of head and kneck. I guess they are tension headaches, but they are very annoying and at times painful. I just try my best to keep telling myself that these are from w/d, but I am having them everyday. My old instinct, is to want to run to the dr. to make sure there is nothing seriously wrong. But, I am not going to do that. I am going to ride this wave out!

 

I hope you start feeling better and are able to come back onto the forum. I know that I can be encouraged by others on here, so even if you just read and don't try to post, your spirit might be lifted! I'll be praying for you.

 

Lori  :smitten:

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LL

Yes that was a great post.  Since I had to quit my job in June, I am very much alone and bored, but fearful of being out in public.  I, too, live in a tiny town, and hate to go out in public now.  I feel like a freak. Anyway, thanks for the insight. 

 

Missy :smitten:

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Missy,

It is very hard at first to go out. I was walking in the evenings so no one would see me. Then, I decided when the kids went back to school, to try to walk in the morning (ahhh daylight!). I was a little scared at first, but when nothing bad happened...I realized that it is ok. I can't have fearful thoughts or I will trigger adrenaline and cause more fear/anxiety. I promise you, if you truly can believe that anxiety is directly related to our thought life and bad habits that we have believed, you can overcome being scared to go out. Don't listen to that fearful voice that tells you all the "what if's", listen to your voice of truth/the strong one. The one that says that you are not going to die from anxiety. The one that says that you can go to the store like other people and do fine. It's a lot of talking to yourself. I bet at one point in your life, you had no problem going to places/doing errands. It all began with a fearful thought or experience and kind of snow balls from there. Change those thoughts. Think positive ones and the more you go out, the easier it will become and you will have new thinking habits. And, you will feel more confident as time goes by. I am praying for you, Missy. That you will be able to do this and get out of the house and start to really live again. Life is toooo short....let's not miss anything!! :thumbsup:

 

Lori Lee

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  • 3 weeks later...
hi lori lee, haven,t looked at the posts for a long while, i am so glad i found yours, everything you write about thoughts and fear is exactly what i have been stuck in doing all my life, it talks  about the renewal of the mind somewhere in the bible, and i so much want to be able to know just how to do that, and i see it isn,t poss to do everything that has held me strapped in fear of fear or panic in one swoop, and when i read how you are are step by step doing all this , i see how your mind is being restored to its rightful and non anxoius thinking, and this gives me hope that i can with prayer and the positive frame of mind be able to slowly become free of the adrenelin that comes from years of fear of panic, slowly i see the light is poss , and that we dont have to be locked in the jaws of terror and never go out, for the 1st time this morning with the help of a girl who comes to see me everyday i actually walked just 5 mins away to the nearest shop, i bought some shampoo. 2 toilet rolls, and some treats for my dog, i was well pleased at this, now i feel a little flat, kelly is coming again tomorrow for an hr, i am going to ask her to walk with me to the river, its a little bit futher away, 8mins, and i want to feed the ducks and give them the pleasure to. jo(pudsey) you are a big inspiration, thankyou for being you, i can envisage how proud you are of your son , and just how much joy he will feel with you accomanying him, and the heavens will to rejoice.
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Hey pudsey,

Yes, it is about the renewing of your mind. If this is your heart's desire, He will show you how to do this. It is baby steps because of old thought habits. What you are doing with your walking is WONDERFUL. You are taking those baby steps and the more you take, the less fear and anxiety you will have. Take every thought captive and line it up with truth. When you are walking and a thought comes to mind like what if I faint or what if I can't make it back home, speak truth to it. Anxiety won't kill me. Have I ever fainted from anxiety before. Most of the time with anxiety, blood pressure goes up and people faint when their blood pressure goes down. This kind of thinking, is how you will make it and gain more strength to take bigger steps. You are planning on going farther tomorrow, to the river.....great!! From 5 minutes to 8 minutes, that is how it is done, pudsey. If we are not to be anxious for anything, why would it be so impossible not to be anxious? Being dependent on Him for everything. Pray before and during the things you do that are difficult or new. Then, give thanks after you have done them. Renewing the mind is a daily and ongoing, lifetime thing we must do. The walking will help dispel the adrenaline and I am so proud of you for doing this. Keep posting your progress and I will be praying for you!!

 

Lori

 

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