Very frustrated & discouraged - reoccuring bouts of significant insomnia

I am about 8 1/2 months off of all benzos.   Insomnia has been my main problem with this and it has been very debilitating.   It's slowly improved as time has gone by.  The problem is that I seem to hit a stride going in the right direction with the insomnia greatly improving and then, out of the blue, I go through a period of time, usually anywhere from one to two weeks, where things take a major turn for the worse.  I've been tossing and turning again lately and generally feeling like my nervous system is again revved up.

 

My question is, when do these cycles cease? I feel like I can never be sure how I'm going to be on a particular night; it's a total crap shoot.  This is killing me from the standpoint of keeping up with my employment (I'm now part time from this whole mess related to taking benzos for a medical condition.)

 

Has anyone had similar experience to mine:  heading in the right direction and then everything goes to pieces insomnia wise? Thanks

Has anyone had similar experience to mine:  heading in the right direction and then everything goes to pieces insomnia wise? Thanks

 

Yep. It's happened to me about 3 times now since jumping 6 months ago. I'm just coming out of my last one. I feel like it's more on a psychological level. One bad night for whatever reason, seems to shake your confidence, and there begins the cycle. The fear stirs up the fight or flight syndrome, and the next thing you know, anxiety is full blown again, and no way will you fall asleep. The next night comes, you have that memory of the previous night, and no sleep once again.

The key is to just relax about it. Sleep improved once, it will improve again. Just go with the insomnia, accept it as temporary, and it will soon pass again!  It's amazing how that thought alone can put you to sleep. 

Thanks for the feedback.  Do these cycles of insomnia ever go away for good eventually?  I feel as if I can't predict from one week to the next how I am going to feel during the day because of my sleep.   It's disrupting my whole life.  I can't plan travel or to be out late at night and it makes it very difficult to function during the day when I'm hung over from lack of sleep.

Mantis,

I added a few more things to that reply that you may have missed.

 

Yes, it does eventually go away. But I do know from personal experience that planning something like travel or a special event can def. make sleep go out the window. It's very frustrating. I have my high school reunion coming up at the end of the month, and the closer it gets the worse my sleep will probably get again.

It's a matter of trust. It's hard to explain. It's about turning off the negative thoughts. Have you ever tried practicing meditation? A regular practice can go a long way in improving negative thoughts. Here is a link to get you started.    http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=7469.msg83171#msg83171

Yes, I'm aware of meditation.  I haven't found it to be useful in controlling the insomnia.  I've tried all types of things including accupuncture.  Not helpful.  Trazadone helps me get to sleep but doesn't keep me from waking up.  I've been on it for 8 months +. I go through episodes when I feel that my body is overstimulated during the day, just like it was when I just came off the benzos. Right now, I feel like I've drunk 10 cups of coffee and I don't even have a caffeine intake.  This exacerbation caught me out of the blue; no specific trigger.  I'm starting to think that all you can do is suffer with this and wait and wait and wait until some amount of enough time passes. 

Yes, it's a matter of just letting time pass. You will recover from this, Mantis.

 

You know what else helped me? When my insomnia was at it's worst after I finished benzos, I had a hypnotherapy session. It really worked. I was amazed. It's all about suggestion.   

I'm glad to hypno worked.  I've practiced self hynosis before and can give that I try.  I was really discouraged that accupuncture did nothing. I tried two licensed accupuncturists.  I believe they were both competent but in addition to having no benefit from the treatments, they actually stirred things up and made them worse.  I also had a Rolfing session (for an unrelated physical problem) and had the same reaction; stirred things up.  I'd been to that Rolfer many times so I know it was nothing to do with what he had done either. With my current exacerbation, the nausea I had early on after stopping the benzos returned pretty significantly too.  I've had bouts of nausea on and off for the last 8 months + too.

 

My current doctor told me he had anothe patient that it took 1 1/2 years for the symptoms to go away.  I know the Professor Ashton lists 6-12 months on the insomnia. Does anyone hear have any times to share for the insomnia to completely go away?

Oh, wanted to mention, I have found diaphramatic breathing helpful but it does not stop the insomnia; has only a temporary benefit - getting me back to sleep before I wake up again in 15 to 30 minutes of so.

I've started doing total relaxation and listening to music, as well as breathing exercises. Some nights are better than others, but lately I'm getting about five hours a night, which is a long way from the one I was getting two weeks ago.

 

I find that if I allow myself to get aggitated, I get in trouble. For example, I couldn't listen to my music until REALLY late (had to restore my iPod) and I was worried that I wouldn't sleep without it. I didn't sleep until I got it up and running. A lot of insomnia is phsycological and I think we can conquer it. I've just stopped worrying about sleep and tried adding things that are soothing.

 

Hope it gets better for you!!

 

-Pete

Thanks Pete.  I realize the psychological components of insomnia. That being said, before this happened (the benzos) and the gastroenteritis that caused me to be on them, I had NO sleep difficulties.  In fact, I violated every rule of good sleep hygiene and still slept like a rock.  My nervous system is overstimulated from these medications and that overstimulation is the main reason, in my opinion, why I can't stay asleep.  There is no connection to when this insomnia worsens and anything going on in my life. 

I had the same reaction to acupuncture.  I went to about 12 sessions and finally gave up.  I had the same stirred up feeling and it totally exacerbated the insomnia.  I also had a bout of severe insomnia about two months ago where my body could not go to sleep.  It was like I forgot how.  After a couple of weeks it went away, but unfortunately it's back again.  The last two nights I haven't slept well, even with benadryl and valerian.  I never go into deep sleep.  But my experience so far has been that it comes and goes.  I'm ready for it to go!  Hope you get some sleep soon.

Thanks for the feedback on the acupunture.  I was starting to think I was crazy in regards to my reaction to it, which was supposed to be relaxation and sleep improvement. 

You are the first person I have heard of that had the same rx as me, so I am relieved as well.  I also had the same rx to massage.  I purchased a package at a local wellness center and have yet to go back and finish them out.  I think I will give it a few more months.  Although I hate having insomnia, it is much better than the floaty head feeling I was having for a while.  My symptoms seem to take turns coming and going.  Each time one settles down another amps up for a while. But they are all much milder than they were before. 

Cilla - Yes, I've noticed too that my symptoms come and go and are much milder than the day I stopped taking the benzos.  I've found the insomnia the most bothersome and debilitating (compared to dealing with nausea which is reasonably well controlled with medication.) By the way, the Rolfing that I mentioned that stirred up my symptoms is a type of manual myofascial therapy.  I was getting it from a muscular problem not related to the benzos and have had a lot of Rolfing in the past. I've refrained from getting massage too because for some reason all this stuff seems to have a stirring effect on my nervous system.  You're the only other one I know of too that had this type of problem from acupuncture. 

 

How long have you been off benzos?

Just over four months, but I made the mistake of tapering really fast so I think that might be why I am still suffering a bit.  I really wasn't on benzos regularly for too long so I thought I could taper much faster. I just finished reading "Say Good Night to Insomnia" and found that most of the recommendations are things I already know and practice.  I am relaxed when I go try to to to sleep.  I usually read right before.  I honestly believe it is just a rx to the benzos.  I have found, like others have said, that if I worry about the insomnia it gets worse and lasts longer.  It just sucks. 

I was tapered too rapidly too.  My doctor also didn't realize that for the 8 months I was ON the benzos that I was having withdrawal symptoms between doses.  I'm now over a litte over 8 months off of it all (Restoril and the 0.5 mg Xanax XR my doctor gave me to control the symptoms the Restoril was causing that she told me weren't from the Restoril.)  This has been physically devasting - I dislike taking medication to begin with and wouldn't have been on Restoril had I not developed horrible insomnia that responded to nothing but the Restoril after I had a protracted adverse reaction to an antibiotic.  It doesn't seem like the doctors who prescribe this stuff are accountable in any way for the damage they do due to their lack of knowledge about benzos.

I didn't even realize I was dependent until I had two panic attacks because of interdose withdraws.  I was taking them every few days for a few months.  I was initially taking a really small dose of valium 2mg (from I friend) and then when I ran out of that I was prescribed a much larger dose of ativan 1mg (at the time I didn't know it was a larger dose).  I was prescribed to take it as needed for insomnia.  I feel like I screwed up because I didn't really do any research before taking the benzos.  I had never had a panic attack before the benzos.  I feel fortunate that I found this web site, I only wish I had done a slower taper.  Oh well...there's not much I can do about it now.  It is comforting to know folks are going through the same sort of thing.  I hope you get some sleep tonight.

Hi Cilla-  I hope your sleep improves too.  Just so you don't feel too bad, I've been an RN for 22 years and never had knowledge of the problems that these drugs cause.  I see them prescribed quite often, especially for anxiety/panic attacks, but until going through this I had NO idea the extended problems these drugs cause.  It was through my own research, unfortunately after the fact, including finding Professor Ashton's manual and other information on line, that I came to understand what I'd gotten myself into.   I live in a large American city and the doctors I encountered early on knew nothing of protracted benzo withdrawal and slapped me with different psychiatric labels.  I even gave these practitioners references to Dr. Ashton's work and instead of their looking into it, they just dismissed it and kept telling me I needed psychiatric attention, as, by the way, did the doctor who misprescribed this stuff and I feel is greatly responsible for what happened to me.  I could kick myself in the butt for what I feel I allowed happen to me.  You know, I work with a number of other nurses and they were not familiar with the protacted withdrawal problems either (with the exception of one co worker who told me of a doctor she had been working with had mentioned the changes in the brain pathways that occur.)   So, I wouldn't beat yourself up.  I can't imagine the average lay person being aware of all of this.  Unfortunately, we trust our doctors to be knowledgeable about what they are prescribing, as well they should be, but they often are not. I have a great doctor now (an addictionologist whom I was referred to by a professional colleague on the basis that an addictionologist would be familiar with drug withdrawal syndromes.)  Even if there is not much he can do for me medically, it is comforting to have the support of someone who will listen and knows I'm not crazy.

Mantis,

 

Can you add a signature to your profile, so we know point you are at in your withdrawal?(what you were on, how long off, etc.) It's helpful for others to know this, and it helps you keep track too.

 

Just go to your 'profile', then 'forum profile information' then scroll down and add a signature. Make sure to click 'change' at the bottom.

 

Thanks!

   

I just tried to do this; not sure if it took.  I'd hit change and it kept bringing up the same page for editing.

Well, you got 'mantis' in there, so you did something right!

 

It will bring up the same page after you save it. Just go ahead and put your info in there now. 

Ok.  I believe I've got it!

I was just talking with a friend about how doctors should have some discussion with their patients, even if it's brief, regarding the addictive nature of benzos.  It should be a requirement to prescribe them.  The only advice I received was to "take as needed" and at the time I needed them.  So yes, I am a little disappointed in myself for not knowing better.  I did know they could be addictive but seriously had no idea that they could be after such a short time.  I think this is the case with a lot of folks.  At least I am in good company .

Cilla-

 

Looking back on my experience with Restoril, it only helped with the insomnia I had for a few weeks.  Thereafter, it really didn't and I can now recall that I was starting to have problems with withdrawal, between doses, within 4 to 6 weeks of beginning Restoril.  I began to feel like my nervous system was overstimulated/jitteryness and also experienced palpitations, paresthesias and a feeling of tightness in my throat.   I had taken some adrenal supplements at that time and initially thought those might be responsible.   I started the Restoril in March, 2007 and by August, 2007 I was having very pronounced symptoms, as noted above. That's when I got put on the Xanax 0.5 mg. XR. I did ask my doctor, during this, whether the Restoril could have been causing the problems I was experiencing and she said no.   I eventually figured out what was going on myself, including an appointment with an anesthesiology colleague to get some clue as to what was occuring. Another thing that muddied the waters is that I am post menopausal, on bioidentical hormone replacement. After the severe gastroeteritis I had (4 months duration) from taking an antibiotic, I went through a 2 week period of time of sleeping about 10 hours per day and then the insomnia hit, along with hot flashes.  It took me about 9 months to get my hormonal balance back.  Along with this, I was having problems from the Restoril.  When I stopped both the Restoril and Xanax in Nov. 2007, I went through terrible withdrawal. I just stopped the Xanax (at doctor's suggestion) and tapered from Restoril 30 mg. to Restoril 15 mg. for one week and then Restoril 7.5 mg. for one week then stopped.  I realize now that this was a rapid taper.    Every time I went down a dose, my withdrawal symptoms flared like crazy, particulary insomnia,nausea and overall nervous system overstimulation.  From that point, I've VERY slow realized improvement in these symptoms and would say I'm about 60% better but not out of the woods by any means.  I had to go part time at work (filed for partial disability) and still have significant disruption in my life from this. 

 

I was truly amazed the degree of problems these medicines caused. I thought I could just tough it out. Boy was I wrong.  Don't blame yourself.  I can't imagine the average person knowing what many/most? doctors apparently aren't aware of.