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Chasing a diagnosis


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It occurs to me that, because I am in extreme pain and extreme low weight and GI hurts worse and worse I stead of better and better, I am CONSTANTLY worried that there is an underlying diagnosis that has not been found yet. Maybe if I just quit thinking that and chalk ALL my terrible, almost unliveable sx up to benzo wd (even tho I've been holding all the time I'm getting worse and worse?),maybe the I would just reach acceptance and either come through this or let my body release me if it chooses to. Maybe I am just wearing myself out with the struggle to figure out WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and I need to just let go and let it be. Whatever that is.

 

Word:  last night I was in such bad pain I could t sleep. I can't take pain relievers due to liver issues and stomach issues. So I took a Theanine, 200 mg cap. This usually relaxes me in a short time and I can sleep but my pain was too bad last night. So I took another one about 20 minutes later. The 2nd cap had the OPPOSITE effect. I screamed and cried myself til worn out at 4:30a. I've looked up Thea one today. Good in small doses. In larger, it can block serotonin, causing worse depression. Oh yeah, I got that today!  Won't be doing more than 200mg Theanine again!

 

Anyone else have THIS much pain, get THIS close to death's door, and still survive here at BB?  For those who have been here longer, have you seen worse off ones be able to recover? I can't eat to sustain myself yesterday and today and my physical body cannot sustain that and this level of pain much longer.

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I have this much pain, through my belly under my ribcages and shooting through my back throbbing and aching all the freaking time, nauseated, even more so after eating.  Does not matter what I eat, something easy to digest, or hard, it gets worse a lot.  Always seem to be between a 7-9 on pain, rarely will get down to a 5 or something.  It is agonizing and I want to know if this is withdrawl because I have run out of tests and drs to see.  Depression is hitting me hard too, just checked back out of the psych ward myself for the 4th or 5th time.  The depression from this pain really drives me down a bad path.  I am trying, trying, trying. 
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I have this much pain, through my belly under my ribcages and shooting through my back throbbing and aching all the freaking time, nauseated, even more so after eating.  Does not matter what I eat, something easy to digest, or hard, it gets worse a lot.  Always seem to be between a 7-9 on pain, rarely will get down to a 5 or something.  It is agonizing and I want to know if this is withdrawl because I have run out of tests and drs to see.  Depression is hitting me hard too, just checked back out of the psych ward myself for the 4th or 5th time.  The depression from this pain really drives me down a bad path.  I am trying, trying, trying.

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It occurs to me that, because I am in extreme pain and extreme low weight and GI hurts worse and worse I stead of better and better, I am CONSTANTLY worried that there is an underlying diagnosis that has not been found yet. Maybe if I just quit thinking that and chalk ALL my terrible, almost unliveable sx up to benzo wd (even tho I've been holding all the time I'm getting worse and worse?),maybe the I would just reach acceptance and either come through this or let my body release me if it chooses to. Maybe I am just wearing myself out with the struggle to figure out WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and I need to just let go and let it be. Whatever that is.

 

Word:  last night I was in such bad pain I could t sleep. I can't take pain relievers due to liver issues and stomach issues. So I took a Theanine, 200 mg cap. This usually relaxes me in a short time and I can sleep but my pain was too bad last night. So I took another one about 20 minutes later. The 2nd cap had the OPPOSITE effect. I screamed and cried myself til worn out at 4:30a. I've looked up Thea one today. Good in small doses. In larger, it can block serotonin, causing worse depression. Oh yeah, I got that today!  Won't be doing more than 200mg Theanine again!

 

Anyone else have THIS much pain, get THIS close to death's door, and still survive here at BB?  For those who have been here longer, have you seen worse off ones be able to recover? I can't eat to sustain myself yesterday and today and my physical body cannot sustain that and this level of pain much longer.

 

i read that some ppl have to experiment w ltheaine....100 might not be enough but 200 might be needed.

 

ive had enough experimenting ::) i jut quit taking it.

 

i took zinc one night and it did help me sleep :thumbsup:

 

im sorry about your pain.

my hubby is diabetîc and cant take much for pain.

advil is ok. gabapentin seems to help his neurapathy.

he had bad pain where he couldnt sleep, too.

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two years ago when I had clearly reached tolerance (but didn't know anything about tolerance) I was having disabling, immobilizing colon cramps and as they got worse over time I was certain it was something very bad, now I look back and I see it was due to benzos, I haven't had one since early in my taper
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Md40, I am so sorry. That sounds miserable. We just HAVE to beat this thing. Someone posted today about papaya enzyme lozenges and how much it helped. I think I'll try that. We need to stick together; we may be BB's worst GI cases. I'm about to down a new probiotic, although so far the others 'felt' like they hurt more than helped.

 

Gardenia, can you tell me how much zinc you took and what kind? That could be most helpful. Did you take it alone or with an evening meal or snack?

 

Unk, I have wondered if I have hit tolerance. That would be pretty fast, but I hit tolerance on Ativan in less than 3 weeks. It was horrible. Did you stay in tolerance throughout your taper? My gut is so extremely bound up I hope it does t stay this way. . I've GOT to be able to eat. How low in your taper were you when it let up for you??

 

Thanks guys. It helps to at least know I'm not alone, that this is not too unusual, and maybe I'm NOT dying of an undiagnosed disease after all.

 

Much love,  ~OneLove.  :smitten:

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It occurs to me that, because I am in extreme pain and extreme low weight and GI hurts worse and worse I stead of better and better, I am CONSTANTLY worried that there is an underlying diagnosis that has not been found yet. Maybe if I just quit thinking that and chalk ALL my terrible, almost unliveable sx up to benzo wd (even tho I've been holding all the time I'm getting worse and worse?),maybe the I would just reach acceptance and either come through this or let my body release me if it chooses to. Maybe I am just wearing myself out with the struggle to figure out WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and I need to just let go and let it be. Whatever that is.

 

Word:  last night I was in such bad pain I could t sleep. I can't take pain relievers due to liver issues and stomach issues. So I took a Theanine, 200 mg cap. This usually relaxes me in a short time and I can sleep but my pain was too bad last night. So I took another one about 20 minutes later. The 2nd cap had the OPPOSITE effect. I screamed and cried myself til worn out at 4:30a. I've looked up Thea one today. Good in small doses. In larger, it can block serotonin, causing worse depression. Oh yeah, I got that today!  Won't be doing more than 200mg Theanine again!

 

Anyone else have THIS much pain, get THIS close to death's door, and still survive here at BB?  For those who have been here longer, have you seen worse off ones be able to recover? I can't eat to sustain myself yesterday and today and my physical body cannot sustain that and this level of pain much longer.

onelove,

I am so sorry u r in so much pain.

I don't know if this would help, but my mom used a muscle relaxer when she had alot of pain during her first withdrawal and used B1 for appetite.

She didn't use the muscle relaxer except when really bad, so that she didn't get addicted.

magnesium can relax muscles if it is muscle pain.

Do u know what your vitamin D levels are at?

 

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if tolerance is loosely defined as the drug no longer accomplishing all of it's intended goals then tolerance is maintained throughout the taper, the colon cramps disappeared 6 months after starting the taper, can't see your signature as I type this but I can tell you that I had a tremendous appetite surge I'm guessing very late in the taper so maybe if you also get a surge that will help you, also I constantly struggle with trying to figure which symptoms are benzo and which are potentially some other health problem
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Thats my problem, whats benzo withdrawl, what is something else.  drs don't have a clue either way.  A lot of people take these benzos for life with no problems and thats what drs see, others have problems, and then they act like its no big deal to come off.  Screw that. 

OneLove, yes if we are having benzo cramping withdrawl, we are more of the worse cases.  Nausea and pain is just so constant it is agonizing,  hard to do much.  Radiates through to my back so even sitting in the car car hurt.  I get tired of even complaining about it.  Probably should try to complain less, but sometimes it helps, I don't know.  I've tried about everything.

I am trying to treat the derpession with an antidepresssant, Ashton says thats ok.  I am still taking Elavil at night to help sleep too and the dr is hoping it might help relax the colon or musclse pain, wherever it is coming from.  I don't know how long one has to take that before it helps, probably a few weeks which seems like forever.  It is a very low dose 20mg Elavil.

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