Wild Soul, Running Free

I"ve recieved this in my pm's and have copied it over here to the welcome board!

 

    Hello everyone ! I am happy to have found a place to hopefully get out of my xanax hell..I have suffered from anxiety for about 10 years..Have been put on clonipin and zoloft before I guess around 8 years ago.Only took it for couple of months and was fortunate enough to quit that .I have been on xanax 1mg a day now for about 3 years possibly more.I still suffer from anxiety to this day while still taking the devil pill and have come to realize that I must come off this stuff.My blood pressure problem that I did have has spontaneously normalized as long as I take the xanax and only spikes when I don't take it or I have a bad panic attack.xanax has given me odd symptoms in the past few years some of which I remember because they are daily or I experience them quite often.I have had the ringing in the ears,numbness in my feet and somtimes fingers,odd feelings in the back of my head/lower neck like tingling sensations..I am extremely scared of taking this pill but at the same time I am scared not to..

I consider myself a normal person with anxiety/panic attacks..This is a debilitating thing as you all know and I will need help getting through this. I will need support when I feel like I am falling apart as my hubby has no idea what I am going through and my best friend praises her pill the clonipin so she doesn't understand why I want to  come off this stuff so therefore no support there.I have felt so alone in this.. all the constant trips to the ER that were no help at all...I currently have no insurance and can't afford to go back now..that is scary too.

    I only take about .25mg at a time ,sometimes up to 1mg a day .I tried to go down to .50mg but experienced cold chills,shaking,crying spells and the feeling I am just losting it so I have upped my dose back up to .25mg 3to :)4 times a day at the moment.Have a doc app on the 29th and thinking about asking for valium and trying that. Can anyone here give me some info/support with that??

  I would appreciate it very much as I need all the help I can get..lol

 

I am normally a very funny,witty,nice person who loves life and I wanna be that way again...please help me get through the benzo withdrawel hell I am about to embark on..suggestions/advice/phone call/ anything will help..I will support anyone I can too once I know what I am up against here...I have read the side effects and am scared to death..

 

  thanks in advance ....

looking forward to getting to know you all....       

 

 

                                              best wishes                                         

 

                                                           xanax_slave 

Hi again XS,

First of all welcome to benzobuddies, and good for you for wanting to get off your benzo!

We can absolutely help you with this, and support you all the way thru it.

The generally suggested aprox. taper rate is 10% cuts every 1 to 2 weeks. Directly tapering off your pill with dry cuts make this difficult to do. It is do-able for some, but too rough for most, especially with a short acting benzo like xanax.

There are a couple of other options, outlined at this link

http://www.benzobuddies.org/buddiesguide/methods

Liquid titration involves mixing your crushed benzo with milk or water, allowing you to make small daily reductions to you your dose. We can set you up with an individualize taper schedule. And a valium crossover makes it easier to taper due to the much smaller equivelant doses of valium pills.

Let us know what you would like to do, and we will help anyway we can!

Hi, XL.  Glad to meet you.  Sorry you have to be here but you are in good company.

I had been on ativan for nearly 20 years for anxiety and eventually it stopped helping with that and contributed to depression as well.  I started tapering off in February and took my last dose on 7/13.  It feels good to be free.  You will have to change your username someday. 

Hi xanax slave. Welcome to BB. You will find all the support and help that you need here.

I'm going to pm you. Look at the green bar on the top of the page, under the shout box. It says "my messages".

Talk to you soon

Amanda.

Hi and Welcome!

Congratulations on your decision to get off these mind numbing drugs and actually live life!  Anxiety can be controlled without the drugs...I know...cause I'm doing it!  I look forward to reading more of your posts!

Love,

Jen

 

   I am normally a very funny,witty,nice person who loves life and I wanna be that way again.

Hi XS,

Welcome to BB and I know exactly what you mean!!  It's a work in progress but we'll get there!!

Ts

Hi XS!

I am very glad you found the site. I can relate to a lot of what you said in your post!.  There is a ton of info here, and a lot of helpful people.

You will make it!!

Take care,

Scott

Hi there benzo slave! 

Come aboard, there are quite a few of us slaves and ex slaves that you might like to get to know around here. 

Good luck with the doc on the 29th, hope you get your valium, it will be a lot easier than the x to get off, but I'm sure you will be okay either way. 

Vicky 

 

  Hey Eljay..

 

thats the problem .I don't have enough to get me through..

I am worried about that severly..She only gave me 1omg a day with 1 refill and said she couldn't do anything till my next app.which is not until sept...I have called 2 times and went down there once..I let them know this was not enough for me..

My doc said she didn't know the equivilency dose of 1mg xanax and now I am stuck with half .What do I do now..I feel like I am screwed and I will have to take less because I have no choice...I am going through benzo-hell daily .It seems that if I take one big dose as in the whole 10 it doesn't seem to last but 8to 10 hours and I need another one..Any suggestions?...I have moments of rage when I first take it too and then it passes..is this normal? I didn't have that with xanax.not sure if I have done the right thing here.need some advice...

 

              thanks again... Nola

Hi Nola, I'm going to go ahead and start a thread in the forum for you. I'll send you a link and we can post to each other there. It is against policy to give taper advice via the pm system.

See ya on the forum!!

Hi,

Have you showed your doc the equivalency tables?

Also, you say you have another refill before September. I don't know how much you take normally daily nor how many days your prescription is, so I have no idea what to advise you as far as how much you should take to make it last. We need more information.

You can split your dose and take it twice daily.

Yes, some people have problems with anger and rage related to taking or tapering from benzos.

Please post here in the open forum rather than pming us. You will get far better more well rounded advice that way! 

  Hello all..Thanks for directing me to the right place....

I only have 15  1/2 10mg valium(diazepam)left outta 30 .I have 1 refill left for 30 more..my next appointment is Sept 23rd...no xanax since starting the valium..!!

  I started on the 4th of august taking 10mg twice a day..I have already made a  5mg cut..1 week later...so far I am dealing ok...I just don't wanna run outta pills before my next visit.That is really scaring me right now..

I take half(5mg) of morning when I get up.. another 5 8to10hours later and the last 5 when I go to bed... I am trying to wean myself down to the 10mg daily as that is what my script was

originally for...I was on 1mg xanax daily for about 6mo to 1 yr.started on .25xanax 3years ago or so I am not exactly sure... then went up to .50 daily and been having symptoms ever since.

  have been to the ER too many times to count .Now have allergies ,am overweight,just had my gallbladder out 3 weeks ago...have no energy,my back hurts,have stomach issues(gastritis/reflux)..My once high blood pressure problem is now low.haven't took BP meds in a few months now...

    I have noticed the buzzing in the back of my head often and that just feels too weird ....

I have times that I just don't feel normal at all and have weird thoughts too..Don't have dreams .or any that I can remember..I often get too hyper and my mind races and I can't concentrate..I have feelings of intense anger and I have freezing spells(at my worst)with shaking all over..when my hands start getting cold then I know it is time to take a pill..

  I just need advice on how to schedule these pills so I won't run out..I have called the docs office 2times and been there once already and nobody has called me back or have they helped me at all..I can deal with the withdrawel if it is not too bad .I have already went through a lot of bad withdrawel spells without even realizing it..or tolerence withdrawels....I also have nausea too...My mother was on these pills for years ..she couldn't live without them but she really did have a mental problem...

  I had a car wreck and bam! one month later I had my first anxiety attack and thought I was dyeing.that was 11 years ago and have been dealing with em ever since..Maybe it damaged the part of my brain that keeps me calm I dunno but been having em ever since...

  I do know that I just can't take one 10mg a day .I have to break it up cause it gets outta my system too fast or something ...

  Well I am gonna go for now .I gotta cook supper..just thought I would let everyont know a little info ..hope someone has some advice for me.......who knows ..I may be off these things sooner than I thought..

                        best wishes to all.. thanks again.. Nola

Hi nola,

What date did you cut from 20mg to 15mg?  You have about 45 pills to cover 39 days and you're taking 1 1/2 pill a day.  These numbers won't stretch that far without making a pretty major cut.  Can you move your dr. appt up?

  I hope that I can up my doc app up..I made a 10 mg cut .I just started the valium 20mg on Aug 4th and made my first cut Monday Aug 11th to 15mg and been on 10 mg daily since then cause I am afraid I am gonna run outta pills... don't know how it will affect me yet  as it is too soon to tell...but so far so good..I have tried to contact them.called 2 times and been down there once to talk to nurse and of course she wasn't there and my doc is only there on tues and fridays..so that doesn't help any..I left 2 messages for nurse to call me back and have received none...It pisses me off to know that they are more than willing to write the scripts but don't offer any support for the people ...I was so mad cause all I could get was an answering machine and please leave a message if you are having trouble with meds and we will get back to you within 48 hours..well H*** I could be dead by then ..!! ya know..they got  to be freaking crazy....ooops ...crazier than me..  (lol) laugh out loud...anyways ..gonna try to call back tomorrow when I know doc is actually there...we will see what happens........

From what I can tell from your 2 post with you being on 10mg a day you will be ok until the 23rd. 

You've made a huge cut since 8/4, how are you feeling?  Are you feeling better on 10mg than you were on 15?

 was just wondering if anyone knows anything about serax(oxazepam)? A friend of ours is on 30mg of that and has been for 2to3 years and ambian to help him sleep..He has had bypass surgery on his heart ,has high liver enzymes and has bouts with extreme dizzeness along with blood pressure jumping way too high..he has become a hermit since he got laid off and am afraid for him..I told him his sleeping meds /anxiety meds are prob causing his dizziness but he needed to stabilize  his blood pressure first and foremost as it is running about 220/125 .that is way too dangerous and that in itself could be causing his dizziness..I am gonna go over to his house and meet with him and find out what all he is on med wise and try to get him to change his diet as he is a bachelor (about 60 something )and I know he doesn't take care of himself and eat right..I told him he don't live that far away that I can't drive over there and check up on him and bring him a good nourishing meal..haha...he laughed at that..I plan on helping him through this too ...I have learned a lot and would hate to think that someone is sitting there wasting away because of these insidious drugs....

    I just  don't wanna see him suffer when he doesn't have too.and he had no idea what was going on all this time.after 2 or 3 years of constant dizzy spells /having to pull over while driving and the feelings of being totally disconnected from his body .I can totally relate to that..anyways just thought I would let you all know that I am gonna try to help someone else out so.. wish me luck !!

                blessings >>>  Nola

  Hey !!

  Yes I am feeling good so far .kinda strange too ..to feel ok all day unlike having to take the xanax 2 or 3 times daily I only take 5mg valium in the morn and 5mg at night as of tues Aug 12th...  I know it is prob too soon to tell how this cut is gonna affect me but I hope it works...

 

  Hey !!

  Yes I am feeling good so far .kinda strange too ..to feel ok all day unlike having to take the xanax 2 or 3 times daily I only take 5mg valium in the morn and 5mg at night as of tues Aug 12th...  I know it is prob too soon to tell how this cut is gonna affect me but I hope it works...

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

 was just wondering if anyone knows anything about serax(oxazepam)? A friend of ours is on 30mg of that and has been for 2to3 years and ambian to help him sleep..He has had bypass surgery on his heart ,has high liver enzymes and has bouts with extreme dizzeness along with blood pressure jumping way too high..he has become a hermit since he got laid off and am afraid for him..I told him his sleeping meds /anxiety meds are prob causing his dizziness but he needed to stabilize  his blood pressure first and foremost as it is running about 220/125 .that is way too dangerous and that in itself could be causing his dizziness            

You must be a very special person to reach out to this  poor man.  I don't think men do very well on their own after divorce or the death of a spouse so you are probably right about his diet being poor.

He really does need to get that BP under control.  I hope he has a home blood pressure monitor.  If he keeps getting readings near that high, he should insist on his doc reevaluating his BP med(s), assuming he's on one.  He sounds like a stroke waiting to happen.

About the Serax: I've seen people here who have tapered off of it using the valium crossover method.  It is another benzo and had all the usual benzo side effects and risks, including dependency.  I also read where it should not be taken by someone with liver disease and wondered about that because of his high liver enzymes.   He definitely shouldn't drop it cold turkey.

Hope the good samaritan is having a good day. 

  Hello everyone..

  I have had a bad day today .Have had to take the whole 10mg today so far..I woke up with symptoms and bad reactions to everything that smells in my house...I also took an allergy pill(zyrtec) and so far that has helped me...Talked to docs office and they said since I wasn't taking the pills like I am supposed to then they doubt she would give me more to get me through..I told her that if the doc had give me enough and the right dosage then I wouldn't have to take more..DUH...sorry just a little pissed at them right now..I have 12 pills or 6 days left and I can't refill till Sept 4th.so I am basically screwed ..My dad says it is against the law to leave me hanging like that  so I dunno...I know they don't wanna see me in one of the rages I get when I don't have my meds.....I will have to pay them a visit when I do ..haha...

  As for the guy I am gonna try to help...bless his heart .he had no idea that the ambian and the serax could cause him to feel so dizzy.He has already had a bypass from blocked arteries in his heart so that ain't good..I did tell him to get his BP under control fast and then we will go from there.I have a moniter I can let him borrow if he will use it..He is divorced and I know he gets scared when he is all alone and he has these bad spellls...I hope I can help him but his doctor is gonna have to help him too by maybe switching him to valium or at least finding something that works...he needs to make sure his heart is ok too...that could cause dizziness with the bp spiking like that ..But then again when I didn't take my xanax my BP would spike and hence the dizziness from that...I dunno..maybe I can help him ...well gotta go  for now..

talk to ya later everyone....best wishes.... Nola

  Hello everyone..

  Just thought I would update.My docs nurse called me today and said she will not give me anymore valium to get me through.I currently taking half a pill 5mg in the morn and 5mg at night.Well now I am at the point I  only have 9 pills to do me 15 days..I do get a refill of 30 on the 4th of Sept.. though..

  I explained to her the situation where I had to start out at 20mg the first week and have been making 5mg cuts every week thereafter..She said I was doing  a great job and to keep on tapering and that I could be off the valium by the time it takes to refill..Yeah RIGHT!!

I will have to only take 5 mg a day now to get me through..as like I said I only have 9 (10mg) pills left...So far I am doing Ok ..I have my moments though..I think I can do it..I will have too..I will not get to go through this whole week on only 10mg .I am gonna have to make the cut 5 days premature....and hope all goes well...I think I am well on my way of being benzo free though..but not sure how to handle the panic attacks when I won't have anymore benzos to rely on..I better get some good herbs..LOL.(laugh out loud)..I used to take valarian or kava kava to help with anxiety so that might be an option for me again soon...

  My hands are now cold and feeling like it is gonna be a long sleepless night as I am omitting my night dose...wish me luck guys and gals......

                                Thanks........ Nola

    A

Nola,

Another Idea would be to cut to 7.5mgs for the next three days, then go to 5mg. That will last you 16 days.

It would really be best to urge your doctor for an extra few pills to tide you over. This is so ridiculous! Maybe talk to you Pharmacist, they may be able to help.

   

I will have to only take 5 mg a day now to get me through..as like I said I only have 9 (10mg) pills left...So far I am doing Ok ..I have my moments though..I think I can do it..I will have too..I will not get to go through this whole week on only 10mg .I am gonna have to make the cut 5 days premature....and hope all goes well...I think I am well on my way of being benzo free though..but not sure how to handle the panic attacks when I won't have anymore benzos to rely on..I better get some good herbs..LOL.(laugh out loud)..I used to take valarian or kava kava to help with anxiety so that might be an option for me again soon...

  My hands are now cold and feeling like it is gonna be a long sleepless night as I am omitting my night dose...wish me luck guys and gals......

   

                                 Thanks........ Nola

    A

I'm surprised but glad that you have been doing pretty well with the large cuts you have made.  Maybe you will be lucky and slide right off.  It is a good idea to have a plan for handling escalating anxiety.  Sometimes just worrying about having a panic attack can bring one on so you definitely need to be prepared "in case".  Do you every drink chamomille or sleepytime tea?  Would warm you up and make you drowsy.

Good luck! 

    yes I have sleepytime tea but cant use it as I am allergic to chamomile(daisy family).

Wish I could..I am gonna make the cuts and I will see how it goes cause the doc won't give me more and the pharmacist will absolutely not because of the nature of the drug....

  Have been reading some of the posts on here and some  have had some nasty w/d effects.

I know I can do this and it prob is gonna be pure H*** but I can do it...gotta get free .Haven't got much more to goo..I have had the dizziness so I know what that 's all about..I do take and antihistimines when it gets too bad..I will just take me a benedryl or a zyrtexc and that gets me through.Since I am allergic to just about everything out there I gotta be carefull.When I start withdrawing I become sensitive to everything too..I read where one had a bionic ear ..lol well I get a super sensitive nose...and really shaky and cold chills all over...that is my symptoms...

  anyways...gotta go get some things done..talk to yall later...thanks a bunch..and 

                                                                                Nola

Nola,

Actually, you could stretch out the 7.5mg for 6 days rather than 3 days, I did the math again this morning.

Try to keep your night dose as long as possible if you are having trouble sleeping. Rather than dropping that dose, just split your 5mg (when you get there) to 2.5 twice a day. Or you could take it all at night. Whatever works best for you. 

Hey all..

  I am doing ok.I took only 2.5mg this morning.I did have an icy feeling in the back of the my head for a bit today after I ate lunch..I did not take my night dose last night.I took a total of 5mg yesterday in the morn.I just took a calcium magnesium tablet and slept just fine.Once I know what the w/d symptoms are and I know what I am dealing with then I know that I am not gonna die and no.. I am not gonna go to the ER.I just take a deap breath and ignore the symptoms and they go away...If I dwell on them that only makes it worse and yes..it can cause a full blown panic attack..I am very proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far and I know now that I can do it no matter what symptoms I have because I know they are  only benzo related and that makes it easier for me to deal with it..before ;I didn't know what was going on and I went into a panic thinking I was gonna die and that something major was wrong with me and the docs were too stupid to figure it out.LOL.Now that I know that my symptoms are benzo related .. it doesn't scare me anymore !! I actually have the desire to keep pushing this drug outta my system even more...

Who knows what all will improve once I am off these meds..I know I will have to deal with anxiety and stress from time to time and I plan on doing just that ...but in a different way..I am gonna exercise and get healthy and give my brain and body the fuel it needs to heal itself....what more can I do.?? and I am gonna have to stop obsessing so much about what other people will think about me if I screw up on something and quit trying to be the perfectionist that I dwell on so much.. and just be the real me..take it or leave it..haha...

    Life is gonna be so much better for me when I learn how to cope with the issues that got me on these meds to begin with..

    Well I took another 2.5mg of valium or 1/4 of a 10mg  tonight.Ok so far..

this way I figure if I do it this way then I will definatetly have enough to do me and possible not have to refill if I can taper even more .When I get down to  just 2.5 a day then I think I can pretty much give em up for good....within a week...

  Thanks to everyone on the forum for your advice and all the info I have discovered..It has helped me tremendously ...and most of all thank you for your continued support as I push on to the benzo W/D....

  I may end up eating my words when I totally come off this stuff but I think I can do it..

enough said..........good night to all .....I am gonna go lie down and get some much needed rest............

                                                                            thanks -- Nola (AKA) xanax_slave