Author Topic: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted  (Read 53810 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #430 on: July 26, 2019, 02:08:07 am »
[...], really nice post. What you described is what I call "faking it." My first year post Ct was a total nightmare, and the ONLY reason I did not reinstate was my extreme paranoia of doctors. I took a lot of benzos (in doses that would shock you) for thirty years. Think of Nurse Jackie and House and you know most of my story. Like Nurse Jackie I am an RN of many years and I guess I thought I was somehow immune from addiction. NOT!
During my first year off I was quite insane with perhaps 75 symptoms all going on at once. I basically just hid in my home that year. I could no longer work due to injuries I had sustained, thanks to benzos. My last injury was a whopper. I fell and fractured my right femur and also blew apart a knee replacement. I almost lost that leg, but a decent surgeon fixed it. I had to use a rolling walker for several years and finally went to a cane for another couple years. The pain was extreme, every step hurt, and then I was forced to go CT off all my drugs. Klonapin 6 mgs, Ambien 10 mgs and 2 SSRIs. All I can say is holy hell ensued.
I had been in CBT to deal with my childhood traumas, and had an decent therapist., She told me to "fake it" and explained why it would help. It helps because if you do this long enough, you actually re-train your brain to BE more positive.  At the time she told me this I already had severe "benzo brain" and I just didn't get it. But in my first year off benzo, I somehow remembered and started doing this, instinctively. It felt really "fakey" for months but I just kept trying to do this. If I found myself thinking negatively, I reversed the though and made it positive. I did this so well that when I finally wrote my Success Story, people were shocked to find out how awful I really did feel. And nthen really cool thing is that now, I AM more positive!!!! This technique worked really really well. One of my BB friends told me how to read my old posts from 2012. I was simply amazed at how SANE I sounded, when in reality I was NOT sane and felt simply awful 24/7.

Seltz, how are you feeling NOW? I recall posts from you that were really kind of sad, you were struggling so hard to just maintain. Fromm this post I assume you feel somewhat better now. I know I do.
[...] (thumbs up!!!!)(my emoticons have not worked for months now)

Lol I'm feeling a lot better, [...].  Thanks for asking.  I tried not to be too sad but I tried to be honest more than anything and I'm sure the sadness was carried along, along with the crazy and all the other poor qualities that can come out sometimes.  Just came up on 11 months.  I feel I'm about recovered.

I would not say at the stage I was describing, I was faking it.  I was isolating and just trying to survive.  When faking it, I think of other people being involved.  There's a lot to be said for faking it though and it helps get you to those times when others can make you feel better but I think you have to get to a certain point or be ready for that.  I was faking it while I was in inter-dose withdrawal heading for worse feelings and faking it never paid off.  Now faking it leads to better outcomes.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #431 on: July 26, 2019, 07:57:16 am »
[...], really nice post. What you described is what I call "faking it." My first year post Ct was a total nightmare, and the ONLY reason I did not reinstate was my extreme paranoia of doctors. I took a lot of benzos (in doses that would shock you) for thirty years. Think of Nurse Jackie and House and you know most of my story. Like Nurse Jackie I am an RN of many years and I guess I thought I was somehow immune from addiction. NOT!
During my first year off I was quite insane with perhaps 75 symptoms all going on at once. I basically just hid in my home that year. I could no longer work due to injuries I had sustained, thanks to benzos. My last injury was a whopper. I fell and fractured my right femur and also blew apart a knee replacement. I almost lost that leg, but a decent surgeon fixed it. I had to use a rolling walker for several years and finally went to a cane for another couple years. The pain was extreme, every step hurt, and then I was forced to go CT off all my drugs. Klonapin 6 mgs, Ambien 10 mgs and 2 SSRIs. All I can say is holy hell ensued.
I had been in CBT to deal with my childhood traumas, and had an decent therapist., She told me to "fake it" and explained why it would help. It helps because if you do this long enough, you actually re-train your brain to BE more positive.  At the time she told me this I already had severe "benzo brain" and I just didn't get it. But in my first year off benzo, I somehow remembered and started doing this, instinctively. It felt really "fakey" for months but I just kept trying to do this. If I found myself thinking negatively, I reversed the though and made it positive. I did this so well that when I finally wrote my Success Story, people were shocked to find out how awful I really did feel. And nthen really cool thing is that now, I AM more positive!!!! This technique worked really really well. One of my BB friends told me how to read my old posts from 2012. I was simply amazed at how SANE I sounded, when in reality I was NOT sane and felt simply awful 24/7.

Seltz, how are you feeling NOW? I recall posts from you that were really kind of sad, you were struggling so hard to just maintain. Fromm this post I assume you feel somewhat better now. I know I do.
[...] (thumbs up!!!!)(my emoticons have not worked for months now)

[...] this is an amazing success story having gone through so much. And the problem with your let on top of the withdrawal. Were you also in withdrawal when you were struggling with your leg issues and operations? It's incredible how you've overcome all this. I'll remember the "fake it" advice and the positive affirmations. I say them in my mind but my fear based body doesn't believe then and I sound like a broken record. But you say it still works right? By the way I loved the show nurse jackie. And she wasn't on bezos, which are probably as bad, if not worse than opiates.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #432 on: July 29, 2019, 11:31:16 pm »
VNM,
I did go through a really bad wd, but I am not at all sorry I did. The very fact that I am now healthier, happier and free of depression and most anxiety is truly amazing. This old nurse had NO IDEA benzos could cause so much damage. Well, now I do know!!!
When I was still on benzos and ADs I spent a lot of time in hospitals and rehabs. But I did not start to feel better until I went CT off benzo and SSRIs. My wd was awful. ButI no longer need to tell people how it was so bad. It is history and done and I am a [...] person now, free of drugs.
Nurse Jackie and House were addicted to narcotics, which act on the brain a lot differently from benzos But their stories do ring true for anyone who accidentally becomes addicted to a drug. The denial, the struggles to obtain the drug, the fear of not GETTING yo9ur drug, etc. All ring true. Narcotic wd is a lot different from benzo wd! Benzo wd is MUCH more concentrated in your brain in terms of thought, feelings and sensations.
"Faking it" does work. Absolutely sure it does. I began doing this early on and nit really did make huge difference. On benzos and ADs, I was negative, pessimistic and sad. I got off all those drugs and began faking it. Yes, it felt "fakey" for a while. I had felt so negative for so long that any change from that felt fake.
I did "faking it" for months and you know what? Eventually I did BECOME a much more [...] and positive person. Tis really works but you have to do it a lot and keep on doing it.
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #433 on: July 30, 2019, 01:53:41 am »
Benzo lie: Iíll never be able to quit. I must accept that I Ďhaveí to have this every day.
Benzo Lies

I was talking with a friend about the lies that benzos tell us and thought it would be a good idea to start a thread on the topic.

Here are some benzo lies that I previously posted on my blog and thought it would be good to start this thread off with.

Please add some of the lies that you used to believe and now know to be untrue.

This will be very valuable for those who are still under the spell of the lies that benzos tell us. My experience is that our thinking is fundamentally altered by benzo action during tolerance withdrawal and during tapering, and that we are not actually thinking Ė we are at the effect of chemical storms in our brains. And we think that these are our thoughts. And worse yet, we BELIEVE these thoughts. But what we are experiencing is chemical and electrical processes that occur during the bodyís attempt to adjust these chemicals and processes on the fly.


Now that I am feeling better, itís easy to see some of the lies the benzos tell us. They are plain to see in hindsight. But for those of you who are having troubles with taper symptoms, or pre or post-taper symptoms, I wanted to help you to see  some of the lies that the benzos have told me, and may be telling you too.  Hopefully, you will be able to use this to understand more about your experience and maybe you could use this post as a template for reality.

 Benzo Lie # 1. There is no [...].   This one is nasty. Do not believe this lie. It can take you down fast. It is not true, even though it feels very true. For me, this hopelessness was a result of benzo created chemical imbalances coloring my thinking into a perceived end of time. I could not imagine time extending for more than 3 months into the future. There was no way I could think of any possible outcome at all Ė not even a negative one, and all of my imagined outcomes of less than 3 months were negative. If you cannot imagine a positive future for yourself, know you are under the trance of lie # 1.

 Benzo Lie # 2. My Life is ruined.   Do not believe this lie. You are in a temporary state of withdrawal. It is an awful state, but it is temporary and you will move out of it and have a life that you can mold into what you had before or one that is better than before. When you can think clearly, you are able to fashion a life that is better than what happened to you when you were tranquilized and your life fell apart as a result of being drugged. When you are out of withdrawals and free from the effects of their symptoms, you will be in a better position to solve problems instead of having them take you down.

 Benzo Lie # 3. These benzo effects will last forever.  I see this lie as being conditional.  The lie part is that if you are making decisions that will move yourself toward health and away from benzos, it will not last forever. There WILL be an end to the benzo-related troubles. As you get further away from benzos and their effects, the less the benzos will act on you.  If you make benzo related decisions that move yourself away from natural health and into benzo use, you may end up in a never ending loop of having side effects being confused as diseases, and having benzo symptoms being medicated with more benzos, and in turn, more and more drug and symptom interactions and more and more suffering.

 Benzo Lie # 4. I will never be [...] again  This lie broke my heart. I let this lie rob me of my dreams. I am living proof that you can totally believe this lie and live to prove it wrong. I never thought I could ever be [...] ever again. Iím not only [...] now, but happier than I was before I started on benzos. I feel like I have just vanquished a dragon, and there is a great deal of satisfaction in that. Now, I am [...]. I am [...] just because I exist and because life is available to me. There is such joy in [...] back from the edge and being able to function again.

 I felt like there was no way happiness could ever be attained by someone who is going through all of this suffering and torture and ineptitude, and now Iím [...].  I am the guy that was scared to death of my cat for 2 years. I was freaked out because the gardener was going to come on Wednesday and scare me with the noise of his equipment and today itís Monday and Iím worried about it already. I couldn't drive for over a year. . . and on and on.

 If you are feeling that your happiness is behind you, do not despair. You cannot absolutely know that your best days are behind you. The effects of benzo action will make you believe you cannot be [...]. It is not true. After your body begins making the feel good chemicals and you are out of wd, your life can get wonderful again.


These are just a few of the benzo lies that have I have busted for myself. And there are many, many more.

Try this on - If it makes you sad, it's probably a benzo lie.

 You CAN be [...] again. It will feel great, and youíll love it more than ever.  :thumbsup:


Please post the benzo lies that you have busted so others can learn from your experience.



[...]  :smitten:

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #434 on: July 30, 2019, 10:35:38 am »
'You'll never have Friends again' - status : BUSTED  :thumbsup:

Hi everyone,

Let me share with you one detail that proves that [...] DOES happen. I am 26 months off as of yesterday, a bad case of polydrugging for 13 years, and it's been a long road with little improvement in the way I feel. My most debilitating symptoms aren't yet fading - so let me accentuate the positive, and share with you another common benzo lie which has been totally busted.

From the very first day, meds took away the colors of life. I stopped feeling anything and became a zombie. I withdrew from the world and let all my Friends go. I lost interest in human interaction and soon became a recluse. Months, then years passed. I tried to get back to life but you know how that goes. If your brain is under the influence of meds, you can run to another country and start everything from scratch... well you are still on meds and the root of the problem hasn't been addressed. So yeah, I went back to university and made new ... 'acquaintances'... but again I went off the radar and ended alone. That was the time I started tapering. It took 2.5 years during which I was totally alone. I'd barely talk on the phone with family, perhaps once every few months at best.

Goodness, looking back... how did I get there?!  :o

Well my friends, let me tell you how things are two years and two months on.

I started reconnecting with people, slowly but surely right after I got off the drugs. I just felt I needed to. It started with family, and I even moved back with them three months out, which meant moving out of my flat in England and back to Paris where I was originally from. It soon became clear that I needed to do things, in contrast to spending my afternoon passed out on a sofa, which had been my life for so many years, and not just do things by myself, I needed to connect with people. So I started going to Meetups and joining group activities while going through the throws of withdrawal, mostly mental symptoms as well as akathisia. Having something 'to do' every single day has enabled me to get through this mess. Far from easy, but I made it this far.

The turning point was when I found an acting group. I discovered an activity which was so intense that I can't possibly be thinking of wd while actively 'in a scene'. Not only is acting a wonderful distraction, it enabled me to meet very nice people which whom I started getting together aside from classes to work on our scenes, have a chat and a non-alcoholic drink.

And that is exactly how a beautiful Friendship began. I had never anticipated that. A new young lady had joined the group shortly after me and we were soon paired up to work on a scene together. She suggested meeting up to discuss our roles, and so we got together for a nice chat and some work. We were soon planning to meet the following week to resume where we'd left off, and that happened again and again until our Tuesday evening meetings became 'a thing'. We chatted and chatted, and I eventually told her about my med ordeal. That's something I choose not to disclose, or very rarely, as I feel like people have preconceived ideas and when I'm trying to distract, the last I want to be doing is trying to convince somebody that it's still wd after all this time. So anyway. My new Friend's reaction to me sharing my story was just... beautiful. Her eyes filled with tears and I hugged her. I couldn't have been happier to have shared with her, as this brought us so much closer.

So guys, all I wanted to say, is that YES, YOU WILL HAVE FRIENDS AGAIN. Even if you don't feel the need for people from where you are standing, and only like the idea of it, the idea of 'normalcy'.

OK, let me bust another lie : 'I will never do anything again with my life' - being busted  :thumbsup:
I can't list all the crazy activities I've done out of a sheer need to cope, from yoga to acting, from dancing to guided visits, from organized group walks to meetups about self-development... I've also recently discovered creative writing, and as the group organizer was taking time off for a vacation, I suggested stepping in to organize and lead a couple of sessions myself! The first session went really well, I got great feedback, and the second session, taking place tomorrow, already has a waiting list. My friend, the group leader should be back next week, but I'm already thinking of organizing my own workshops and looking into a new concept to mix things around...

...so Life is happening  :thumbsup:

Keep on busting!  ;D

[...] Hugs  :smitten:   
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #435 on: July 30, 2019, 10:19:03 pm »
[...],
Thank you for this inspiring post. You said it really well and I  agree with you. Benzo wd has the ability (if you let it) to teach you some really wonderful lessons. But you do have to open your mind to new things. It isn't all just getting off benzos! There are REASONS why we ended up on these drugs. One has to be willing to look deeply at WHY we did, admit this, accept this and then slowly move on to a far better life.
None of this is easy but it sure is a good thing.

For me the BIGGEST benzo Lie was "You will always need these drugs in order to sleep at all." Thirty years of benzos had lied to me very, very much. I truly thought that back 7 years ago when I went CT off benzos and SSRIs. Turned out to be a huge lie! I now sleep just fine and I do not use benzos anymore. Talk about a LIE!
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #436 on: October 29, 2019, 03:25:55 pm »
Bumping  :P

This thread is a real "[...] DOSE"

Thanks EVERYONE so much

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #437 on: October 31, 2019, 04:18:22 pm »
The original post has been truly inspirational! It's just what I need today. Thank you so much for posting this!!!!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
« Reply #438 on: November 12, 2019, 08:06:29 am »
Possibly the biggest two benzo lies are these ones which relate to my fear of seizures or hylephobia:

"You are going to seize." - From when I'm actually experiencing DP/DR.

"Benzos will prevent you from having seizures." - This is why I hit dependence with [...]. Of course, I was none the wiser and thought they were safe. How wrong I was.

[...].  8)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.