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CAROLE WILL BE ONE YEAR FREE ON MONDAY!!!!!


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Carole will be one year free on Monday!

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BEST WISHES ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY, LOVE FROM MACKIE

 

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Thank you Mackie...my Benzo Bashing Buddy :smitten: :smitten:

 

Remember when we both started this long journey?  I am thrilled to get so much attention!  Thank you..... :yippee:

 

Carole

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AS you all know, I have suffered mental anguish during my taper and all this past year.  It is not a normal depression or a normal feeling of doom and gloom.  It is an unholy circumstance!  Only those who have been there can really understand.  :o

Now that I am coming upon my one year mark, I am hoping to see some relief to this

torment.  There have been glimmers out of the darkness when I have a fleeting feeling of what it must be like to be happy and content and full of hope.  I will state without any reservation what-so-ever, that if any of you are feeling hopless and in dispair, that it is NOT YOU...you are recovery from a traumatic brain injury caused by the poison pills.  The only way out this through and nothing can help you except the "tincture" of time.  But be assured, the brain does heal, and you will come out of this nightmare! :thumbsup:

 

Carole :smitten:

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Hi Carole,

 

Congratulations on your one year! (almost  ;) )  I'm glad to hear that the brain comes back, it sure keeps me guessing.  ;)  I'm 8 1/2 months out from a ct and still have some fog especially in the mornings and I'm looking forward to the day when I want to say something and all the words are there! :laugh:

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Thank you everyone for the warm congratulations.. :smitten: :smitten:

 

To celebrate my one year off.....I fainted and fell off the toliet. :crazy: :crazy:

I went on my usual morning walk, took a shower, got out felt dizzy and knew I was about to faint so sat down to put my head between my legs.  Next thing on knew I was on the floor.  :sick: :sick:  I think my blood sugar must have been low or something as I never fainted before during this journey.

 

Carole

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OH my gosh Carole, I'm sorry! Did you miss breakfast? Do you normally have low blood sugar? Or low Blood pressure?

 

Congrats on you big day anyway!  ;)

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To celebrate my one year off.....I fainted and fell off the toliet. :crazy: :crazy:

 

 

Oh, Carole! You poor little thing. Keep those blood sugars level, honey. Stay safe, OK?

 

              http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/4088/hugbig3tut3.gif

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Thanks Eljay.....no history of this happening before.  Curious things happen when we come off of these benzos.  Even the toilet seat is not a safe place.  :D:laugh:

 

Carole

 

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hi carole congrats on one year clean im 6 days from 9 mos clean and your right it is strange what takes place after were off the garbage but heres the good news all the symptoms are from healing the seratonin receptors are reseting themselves back to normal just like they were before the drugs dizzy no balance all the little symptoms well i call them little compared to the big symptoms will slowly go away as the healing is completted so look to these symptoms as a sign of healing because it is and believe that your life is coming back soon im praying for your real life soon peace the  outlaw
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Hi Carole,

           i was thinking about you on Monday, what a way to celebrate, huh   ??? ??? ??? falling off the toilet seat.  :tickedoff:::):-[

 

still, you made it to the one year off mark,  :yippee::thumbsup::D i'm so proud of you  :)

 

another 6 month's and i'll be where you are.  :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: yeahhhh!!!!!!! you made it  8)

 

lotsaluv, Mackie  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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  • 1 year later...

Hi everyone,

 

I have suffered mental anguish and such emotional pain as I had never known

it was possible to experience.  I thought these things were reserved for the

anguish suffered by those in hell....I felt like I had died and gone to hell.

I made it through each day, moment by moment, and my goal was just to

survive each day.  I had always been so happy and joyous all my life and

to be suddenly thrown into the pit of dispair was almost unbearable.

I could not think my way out of it....no amount of "positivity" helped.

It was all caused by the pills.  A constant surge of adrenalin

was welling up within me causing me to dispair and consquently I would

attach situations past and present to identify with this feeling.  The bad

feeling welled up....and then I attached circumstances to those feelings.

I walked for 2 years, twice a day, morning and night, up and down the sidewalk,

crying all the way and grasping for anything to hang on to to keep me going

for one more day.  I am a Christian, but I struggled to pray and just cried out

in my soul to be rescued.  I now know that the internal  mind can be a hell that

you cannot escape unlike external circumstances that wax and wane and of which

you can escape.  I knew that I had to treat my situation like a life threatening

illness and allow myself to be sick. 

Today, I am getting better.  I still wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach

and a rush of adrenalin.  But, it had calmed down a lot.  I no longer cry day

and night and anguish over every little thing.  I am slowly coming out of this

hell. I have setbacks, but continue to move forward.  I now laugh and enjoy

life and can function normally in society.  If you are suffering mental anguish,

hold on.....IT IS THE PILLS... AND NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES!

Carol

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Hi Carole!

 

Thanks so much for coming back and posting your story. I'm sure it will help a lot of people realize this can and will get better.

I'm so glad you are starting to see the light!

Keep us posted!  :mybuddy: 

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Sounds great that your getting your life back!

 

and thanks for posting this, it means alot to me as im still really sick at 1 year like you were.

I will now keep fighting for another year in hope that i will be where you are in a years time

 

thanks

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Wow, Carole.  So glad you posted.  You did suffer a great deal and I am so happy that your true self is starting to shine.  You fought really hard to get there.  This is an inspirational post for BB's members.  Wishing you continued healing.  Hugs and kisses.

 

Patty  xo

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Carole, :mybuddy:

          i've been wondering how you were doing, i kept asking around the sites after you but we lost touch, Congratulation's on getting to the 2 year mark,,.it must have been so hard, i wish we hadn't lost touch because we could have held one another's hand. it's been tough not knowing how you were and not being able to give you a hug, tough going for me too but we've made it this far.

 

i'm so glad i came here today, i've not checked in for a long time but just to know you are safe and well has made my day!  :yippee:

 

love you alway's my long lost friend!  :smitten:

 

Mackie  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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