Author Topic: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months  (Read 90127 times)

[Buddie]

Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« on: July 02, 2013, 11:49:37 pm »
I have read so many success stories where the person says, I still have a few symptoms but am basically doing fine now. So I wanted to write mine. I have no symptoms at all. I am 100% back to normal, maybe better.
Through all of it I was [...] for some kind of insight into the meaning of [...]. I thought of ending my suffering so many times but refused to give up because my adult kids still needed someone, even if it was only to talk on the phone once a month. I think I have, however, found greater happiness than before. I appreciate small things like the taste of food, rain, cooking, giving my very old dog a massage. He canít walk anymore but he can stand so I carry him into the backyard, wait for him to go, then carry him back inside. I would have considered euthanasia before, but I have a new appreciation for [...] now and he still wags his tail and enjoys French fries so I want him to have as much time as possible.
My speed of thought has increased tenfold in the last two months. My memories are now back and donít come fluttering out of nowhere like a deck of cards thrown in the [...]. My word recall is just as fast, maybe faster, than it was before. Iím no longer sad, or worried, or think about all thatís wrong in the world.
I started Klonopin about 10 years ago at .5mg per [...] for restless legs syndrome. Gradually I worked my way up to between 3 and 5mg per day. I started having bladder pain and urination problems and asked all the doctors if the Klonopin could be the cause. They all said no and gave me bladder pain drugs and Flomax and said all men my age develop those problems (I was 50). Nothing helped and it continued to get worse. I read everything I could and decided it was a side effect of the drug. I didnít believe I had overactive bladder and benign prostate metaplasia simultaneously. My options were surgery or quitting the drug so I quit. I tapered for about three months and lost patience, then quit altogether 22 months ago.
Basically everything got worse and worse for about the first three months then leveled off at six months and I didnít really start making progress until about a year to 18 months. [...]ít remember all the symptoms but a few include: Feeling like a time traveler, feeling like I was outside the flow of humanity, obsessive thoughts, constant suicidal ideation, I didnít sleep at all or in 20 minute periods for about six months. I am not religious in any way, nor do I believe in spirits, or anything remotely supernatural, yet I often felt pursued by a machine-like intelligence that enjoyed making me suffer. I felt like the world had turned evil, most people were bad, I often felt like I was tethered to a string, floating in space high above my body.
I had partial seizures where I would suddenly lose consciousness, then wake up a few minutes later and not know who I was, or if five minutes or a thousand years had passed. I felt like I had to urinate 24 hours a day and had severe pain. I would go the bathroom every ten minutes but it always felt like I had to go. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didnít but it always hurt. I had spontaneous bleeding through the skin on my shoulders and chest. I guess thatís where the term sweating blood comes from.
I had the typical stuff too: incredible stomach distention, constant itching, my face would bleed when I shaved, my scalp itched, severe joint and back pain, blinding headaches, pins and needles in every part of my body. If often felt like my face was going to explode. My eyes watered constantly and stung and itched. My sinuses would swell and I couldnít breathe through my nose. I had constant heart palpitations and my blood pressure would go to 240/160. I couldnít watch movies Ė everything looked like a really bad high school play. I rarely read books, although I previously read up to four or five books a week. I hated music. I would have watery diarrhea followed by what looked like aquarium gravel. My teeth hurt so much and so often they felt like they were all loose. It was hard to eat because of the pain.
I had crying spells that would last ten hours. I envied other people who werenít going through what I was. I had always tried to be a good person and I wondered why I was being tortured so horribly. My emotions would cycle from profound sadness to anger to extreme anxiety to hopelessness to complete out-of-body experiences that felt like I was spread across the Universe like the surface of a soap bubble. I felt like I was living in an old black and white Twilight zone in a ghost town where tumbleweeds rolled across the dusty streets and you could hear the creaking of the barroom doors swinging in the [...].
I would suddenly get searing pain like a sword had been stuck through my back, or a thumbtack driven into my knee. Those are all gone.
I couldnít read the credit card swipe machines and had trouble filling my car with gas. My memories were often so unreal I wondered if they really happened at all. Even around 18 months I was convinced I had permanent brain damage and would [...] be the same.
I could list another hundred symptoms but you all know them. My point is that it has all gone. I feel smarter, happier, and wiser than I have in ten years. I have no anxiety at all. I laugh to myself at silly things, I love people more than ever, I feel connected to every living thing. I think I have actually achieved the wisdom I searched for all my [...].
The last symptoms to go were extreme exhaustion and apathy. My depression lifted at around 18 to 20 months but I didnít care anymore about anything and all I wanted to do was sleep. I still had [...] bizarre nightmares right up to about a month ago but those are now gone too.
My interest in work has returned. My sense of humor and wit has returned. My bladder works perfectly. No headaches, my teeth donít hurt, my skin doesnít itch; even my shoulder, knee and back no longer bother me at all. I feel competent once again. [...] see better. [...] multitask. [...] make instant decisions. Even the texture of my hair and skin has changed dramatically.
I was taking seven different pills a day for blood pressure and now Iím down to one. My blood pressure is normal. I had gained 50 pounds and Iíve lost 30 of them in the last two months. My stomach no longer looks like I swallowed a basketball and I no longer have nausea or the spins.
[...] drink coffee again. I have an occasional glass of wine and [...] eat anything without being worried itís going to result in an anxiety attack or crying spell.
Right up to two months ago I would wake up and wonder if I could make it through another day. Now I wake up happy and eager to get to my list of things to do.
Concentrate on the symptoms that are better or you no longer have. Donít think about what is still wrong. Compare yourself with six months ago and you can see the difference. If you concentrate on the symptoms you still have it doesnít feel like youíre making progress. Between 18 and 20 months I was on autopilot. I just kept going, feeling like it would [...] completely go away and I would [...] be the same again. I had come to terms with that, and then a month later realized that I was beginning to want to do things again. I noticed my speed of thought was increasing weekly and my cognitive precision was back. My memories are now back in order and I am able to recall them in vivid detail, but now they have time tags on them and no longer just pop up randomly.
Physically and mentally I feel as good or better than I have in ten years. I have recovered completely and have no lingering effects. My success story has no qualifiers. It has been 22 months and Iím like new.
For some reason, 12 to 18 months was the most difficult. I think itís because youíre so exhausted and feeling hopeless. After 18 months it begins to get better but you feel like youíll [...] be the way you were before, that there will always be some lingering symptoms. For me it began to really accelerate at around 20 months. I could tell I was beginning to get better but I had given up on being the person I once was.
I have been waiting to write this until I was positive I was completely healed.
I am.
Thank you everyone for all your help and support during the last two years. It made all the difference to know I wasnít alone. Neither are you. You will get better. I promise.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2013, 11:56:17 pm »
Wow, and I thought I was bad!
Thank you for telling your story. I am so happy for you.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2013, 12:18:00 am »
Amazing story! Great to see this.  Did you have agoraphobia and general anxiety/panic attacks at all and if so, when did it lift?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2013, 12:35:19 am »
Congratulations.  Thank you for posting this story.  It has brightened my outlook and I know it will do the same for others who are still patiently waiting to heal.  Thank you. 

M
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2013, 12:44:43 am »
Thank you for writing a wonderful success story. :thumbsup:
[...] :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2013, 01:06:16 am »
Great story [...] and congrats on your freedom!!   :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2013, 01:24:31 am »
Wow. What a great and lucid account of your journey to full recovery. I am very proud of you, indeed. You have given me a great deal to look forward to, even as I consider the journey through the abyss that goes before the light.

Thank you for your courage and sharing your story.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2013, 01:28:43 am »
Thank you for posting your story. It gives me great [...] for healing :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2013, 01:35:50 am »
Thanks. I needed that.
You might consider editing your signature,
since apparently you are not
"Still having really hard time."
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Total and complete 100% success after 22 months
« Reply #9 on: July 03, 2013, 02:13:47 am »
Lost dog

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I am getting ready to jumpin a little less than a month.  You give me [...] that [...] heal.  It has been such a long road already.

Thank you,

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.