Can interactions with another pill make this permenant?

I'm starting to get pretty concerned about my situation.  I was 11 months into w/d and stable then I took 1 pill of seriphos and had a 100% flip in symptoms. All of my anxiety, heart palps, derealization, tinnitus etc.. Went away immediately and got replaced by horrendous depersonalization, memory loss, severe cog fog, confusion and apathy. It's like someone turned the dimmer switch waaay down in my brain and it hasn't come back on. For the year of w/d so far my heart rate was never below 70 and pounding out of my chest- as soon as I took that pill my heart rate went into the high 40's. my heart heart was so shallow I could barely feel it and I started having sleep apnea. I am so dazed out and far from reality that when I fall asleep I get so confused about if my dreams are my thoughts or if I'm awake/asleep that it keeps me awake the confusion is so thick. All of my memories from my life before this are so dim I can barely access them and the world feels so faint. For a year of w/d I could barely sleep now as soon as that pill I can't stay standing or keep my eyes open.  I can't even remember what normal is like and what it is I'm trying to get back to, I feel like I've been like this forever.

I had extensive blood work done recently and my thyroid and everything else checked out. I'm going to see a neuroendocrinologist this week to see if they have anything for me because I feel like my HPA got dumbed down bad and it isn't popping back up. Is there anyone who has had their symptoms entirely flip like this?  Even more so, can that happen and someone still recover?  I cant imagine having to live my life like this im only 28. I'm not feeling too good about my chances at this point.

I don't think that anything can make this permanent, but I know that the corticosteroid I was rx'ed definitely set me back.  I don't know what seriphos is, though google says it is OTC for sleep.  Steroids are definitely known for causing flare ups (I really wish I had known that before I took it), but I don't know about what you took. 

 

Sometimes these things just happen whether you took anything or not, but if you are totally sure that that's what it was then just don't take it, again, and wait for it to wear off.  Nothing about this is permanent, even if it takes a lot longer than any of us would like.

 

Best wishes.

 

Thanks sweet.

 

No it's not a steroid it's actually meant to calm your HPA a bit. The scary part for me is that all of these symptoms are unfamiliar- completely different from anything I felt in w/d. If it was a flare up I could probably deal with it because it would be familiar but this changed my situation 100%. What also sucks is I've never heard of anyone having something like this happen. I can't stomach the thought that this may take several years to fix on top of what I've already been through. To be honest?  This is worse than acute because there's no explanation for it and I'm certain that it damaged my HPA axis. I'm checking out so bad mentally that I even wrote my will and started giving my stuff away. This is unquestionably the most disturbing thing I have ever experienced.

 

I hope you are healing well though, thank you for the response

Sweet G's response was good.

 

I never say never with benzo wd so I think there is a possibility that the med had something to do with this, but at the same time it's very easy to want to find things to blame when we get hit with a big wave.

 

Either way I seriously doubt that whatever it is will last. I've gotten slammed hard numerous times after having been stable or improving. It's just part of the process. One step forward, two steps back.

Trust me I want to believe that this is just a flip in my w/d symptoms but I'm just having a real hard time with it. I've never seen anyone else with this group of symptoms (zero relation to anxiety, it feels as tho I'm sedated) and I've never heard of anyone's symptoms all flipping at once. Makes me feel pretty concerned. Especially since I lost probably 50% of my cognitive function within 3 weeks of that pill. I would just like to see some progress

Clark, about a week ago I took a supplement of Brewer's Yeast which had all sorts of amino acids in it including serine, which I think Seriphos is, right?  PS?  Anyway, as soon as I took it, I started having lots of anxiety and the head pressure, which I never had a problem with, went through the roof for two days along with serious loop obsessing.  Way out of the ordinary for me.  I thought, OMG, did I just do something to my benzo brain?  Well, after a few days, now, it's gone away, and I think, I'm back to the same old benzo w/d, though I'm still getting the neck pressure.  Sometimes I don't know what is benzo brain or something else.  I'll never take another supplement like that while in w/d.    Dr. Ashton says don't take supplements unless you're found deficient in something.  I'm sure you'll be ok, it may just take some time until it rebalances. 

Clark, about a week ago I took a supplement of Brewer's Yeast which had all sorts of amino acids in it including serine, which I think Seriphos is, right?  PS?  Anyway, as soon as I took it, I started having lots of anxiety and the head pressure, which I never had a problem with, went through the roof for two days along with serious loop obsessing.  Way out of the ordinary for me.  I thought, OMG, did I just do something to my benzo brain?  Well, after a few days, now, it's gone away, and I think, I'm back to the same old benzo w/d, though I'm still getting the neck pressure.  Sometimes I don't know what is benzo brain or something else.  I'll never take another supplement like that while in w/d.    Dr. Ashton says don't take supplements unless you're found deficient in something.  I'm sure you'll be ok, it may just take some time until it rebalances.

 

That's really interesting. Yes Seriphos is Phosphaditylserine. I just wonder why it flipped something in my head and now 3 months later I'm no better. There's a chance I may have gotten CFS tho because I'm showing signs of it and I may have activated a virus.  Regardless, it's hard to tell what this is now, I just don't understand what it flipped in my brain to where I have completely different symptoms now. Everything I have is indicative of depression not anxiety

 

I believe my reaction was from an amino acid in the powder mix, since I had taken AA's before in tolerance w/d and felt weird.  So, my problem went the other way with anxiety and way out there cognitive mental processes.  I believe my problem is settling down, though it may have messed something up here for awhile. 

I believe my reaction was from an amino acid in the powder mix, since I had taken AA's before in tolerance w/d and felt weird.  So, my problem went the other way with anxiety and way out there cognitive mental processes.  I believe my problem is settling down, though it may have messed something up here for awhile.

 

Did you loose cognitive function too? As soon as that pill hit me I probably lost 50% of my cognitive function and memory. Im wondering if those are correlated with depersonalization. Very scary. None if it has come back

Probably not much consolation but my cognitive function has been horrible ever since I came off of clonazepam. This stuff wrecked my brain. It's coming back slooooowly and it's back close to normal during windows so I'm pretty sure it isn't permanent, but it SUCKS. It is very, very difficult for me to even follow a recipe to make dinner. My short term memory has been bad most of the time as well, but that has also improved. More than my cognitive function has, actually.

Probably not much consolation but my cognitive function has been horrible ever since I came off of clonazepam. This stuff wrecked my brain. It's coming back slooooowly and it's back close to normal during windows so I'm pretty sure it isn't permanent, but it SUCKS. It is very, very difficult for me to even follow a recipe to make dinner. My short term memory has been bad most of the time as well, but that has also improved. More than my cognitive function has, actually.

 

Yah that is a very rough symptom to live with. I was hoping at 3 months I would have seen some improvement but it's been zero. I couldn't even order a salad at a restaurant yesterday because the choices were too confusing.  My friends have been writing checks for me because I can't even fathom that. Amazing how quickly these drugs take everything g from you and how long it takes to get it back.

They really say there's no permenant damage to cognition/memory from this tho, huh?

Hi Clark,

 

Please don't take this the wrong way, but making up your will and giving away your possessions, isn't that just a tiny bit overreacting ? Is there any doctor who told you that you are dying ? And what would that diagnosis be based upon ? I remember another post where you wrote you were "about to be diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease" when the test results were not in yet, only to find out a few days later the results were negative. Another time you mentioned that you had nearly died twice already. How did you nearly die then ? Unless someone had to perform CPR on you, you couldn't have really been dying. You might have felt that you were dying but that's not the same thing.

 

I'm only telling you this because when you automatically assume the worst every time you feel bad or another symptom pops up, you will most likely feel much worse than you already were before the worrying started. And this will trigger certain chemical reactions in your body that you don't want to have on top of the benzo withdrawal. Fear makes you sick. From the way you describe your symptoms, you are definitely not the worst case of benzo withdrawal ever recorded, and everyone comes out alive and recovers.

 

Sorry but I had to say this. I've seen a dear friend making himself sick as hell with his worrying about dying all the time when he is perfectly fine.

I agree with LC. Clark, maybe you can tell us what you're life looks like right now? What are you doing, are you living by yourself, are you eating regularly, do you get enough sleep? It sounds silly and I couldn't believe it when I was younger, but a healthly diet can improve the quality of life with probably 90%.

 

You say one pill changed everything for you. Do you think this is really possible? That pill would've been severe poison if it can mess you up for three months, like the venom of a cobra or lead. That's very unlikely, right?

 

Fear is a powerful emotion and can drive a person insane. It will trick the mind in believing something is terribly wrong and after some time you will actually feel bad both physically and mentally.

 

You have beaten pills, now it's time to beat yourself.

 

 

Trust me I want to believe that this is just a flip in my w/d symptoms but I'm just having a real hard time with it. I've never seen anyone else with this group of symptoms (zero relation to anxiety, it feels as tho I'm sedated) and I've never heard of anyone's symptoms all flipping at once. Makes me feel pretty concerned. Especially since I lost probably 50% of my cognitive function within 3 weeks of that pill. I would just like to see some progress

 

I have similar symptoms, though not as severe. I often feel sedated and a month ago I was in fear states.... So I'm not entirely convinced that this is all from the pill for you. It seems like it exacerbated something but the HPA axis heals.. It takes 12-18 months from perseverance says... Not permanent.

Hmm...

Your HR being in 40s - no wonder you feel half dead.

 

I can relate to it to some extent. No emotions or anxiety, no memory, inability to decide which movie I want to watch - drives my husband nuts - I can't drive because I'm disoriented and have ADD from hell. I'm also sleepy all the damn time during the day. But I lived in this condition for a very long time already. That's why I was taking Ritalin I think - it made me feel alive. I have no idea what's wrong with me though - still looking for answers. Dopamine deficiency is one theory. Congestive Heart Failure is another. Crap like that sure enough makes you hypochondriac.

 

But I don't think you are making it all up though. I know you truly feel horrible and it scares you.

 

I don't think your problem now is due to benzos or seriphos like I said before. Seriphos just triggered something in your fragile state. But what?...

 

I'll keep you updated if I come across anything interesting because I suspect whatever you have now is an extreme version of what I have but it hit you so suddenly. In me it developed slowly over a period of 5-6 years , so I adapted to this half-functional state.

 

There are some supplements I might recommend but I'm a little afraid because what if it causes a bad reaction in you?...

How is your BP? Can you do some mild exercise? What about pain? Are you gaining/losing weight?

 

Look into elevated prolactin levels. Offsets dopamine. Very interesting....

With all the hormones that you took God knows how your body got thrown around, but this should not be permanent. The body is constantly working to heal itself and why should you be an exception ? Thinking that you won't get better without knowing what is wrong and what is going to happen is contraproductive and it WILL make you feel worse. Anyway, being sleepy all the time really doesn't sound like benzo withdrawal unless I'm missing something here (my insomnia is out of this world and I only wish I could get really sleepy for once).

 

If you went to dozens of doctors, had everything tested and every single test has come out normal, I would try to stop worrying for a second and not make assumptions. It is not helping you in any way. I would also stay away from those dubious diagnoses like CFS, fibromyalgia or adrenal fatigue. None of those diseases can be objectively measured or proven, and their diagnostic criteria have gotten such a low threshold over the years that virtually anyone can get diagnosed as such, pretty much like every difficult child can be diagnosed with ADHD, every excentric child with autism, and every adult with mood swings with bipolar disorder. A diagnosis of adrenal fatigue or CFS would not change your situation, and the way to overcome it would be exactly the same as what is needed to overcome benzo withdrawal.

 

Anything that has to with energy problems, sleep and cognitive issues is rarely a pathology as such but rather a sign that you need to change the way you are living, and a medical doctor is not going to be able to help you in that department. Doctors work with clearly demonstrable pathologies and medication that cures them. If you continue to go that road and only that road, you're not going to get very far, I'm afraid.

Maybe I should explain my situation a little bit better. I came down with severe adrenal fatigue about two years ago- yes it's real- I couldn't even walk or leave bed for 3 months. This is eh they put me on the hormones. I did everything g I was supposed to do to recover- left work, moved out of my apt and in with a friend and concentrated solely on recovery. Had I never taken Ativan I would probably be pretty damn well recovered right now. However, I went into benzo w/d and have spent the last year battling that. But in that whole time I never stopped my recovery protocol- perfect diet (and I mean perfect), yoga in the morning, very mellow all day, stay away from too much stimulation or electronics, meditation, calming practices then bed the same time every night (except I wasnt sleeping much during w/d). I was getting stable when I took that seriphos and as soon as I did everything changed- just like everything changed when I got off Ativan.

I don't know what happened but all my anxiety symptoms went away immediately like I said and got replaced by an overwhelming feeling of sedation- like I said my heart rate went into the 40's. I was so sedated that yes, I woke up twice knowing that my heart was slowing too much. Etc..  This went on for about 2 months now some things got better physically but the DP, chonitige function, memory haven't. For 2 months that was slowly going downhill so yes i got worried, not knowing what it was so I wrote my will not because. Thought I would die but because I thought I wouldn't have the metal capacity to function anymore.

Something just flipped iny brain that night and I'm sure that whatever happened happened because I'm in w/d, but whatever it is now is a physical problem. I'm going to see doctors to try and figure out what it is so I can har a recovery plan- but let me be clear in saying that I will NOT take any medications. I want to know what natural remedies/diet plans I can do to beat whatever this is. Medications and supplements are what out me here and I'm not taking anymore.

They haven't ruled out hashimotos because there's some other tests I guess and I have symptoms such as raspy voice and the brain fog etc.. but ultimately I do believe that something was effected in my HPA axis.

I've been through a lot these past two years as everyone here has so you can understand that getting caught completely off guard by taking one mere supplement has devestated me. Absolutely crushed me since I was finally somewhat stable after 11 months. It helps anyone's recovery to know what's going on and the pathway to healing so this one is tough since there's no ideas as to what happened. That's what I hope to achieve by seeing a neuroendocrinologist. If I understand it I can be more comfortable with it, as I'm sure anyone would be.

 

 

But I don't think you are making it all up though. I know you truly feel horrible and it scares you.

 

I don't think your problem now is due to benzos or seriphos like I said before. Seriphos just triggered something in your fragile state. But what?...

 

I'll keep you updated if I come across anything interesting because I suspect whatever you have now is an extreme version of what I have but it hit you so suddenly. In me it developed slowly over a period of 5-6 years , so I adapted to this half-functional state.

 

There are some supplements I might recommend but I'm a little afraid because what if it causes a bad reaction in you?...

How is your BP? Can you do some mild exercise? What about pain? Are you gaining/losing weight?

 

Look into elevated prolactin levels. Offsets dopamine. Very interesting....

 

Yes amber I think your right, i think the seriphos triggered something.

I do light yoga and bike rides but my tempurature goes down when I exercise. That's indicative of something. My BP is stable but that's because my cortisol actually went up when this started which would say that maybe I'm fighting some virus or autoimmune something...  Very little pain and no change in weight so I'm pretty confused.

It sounds so unreal that one single dose of some kind of pill would snap you out of your anxiety caused by the benzo withdrawal and then make you physically ill and fatigued over night. I have never heard of such a thing and there is no logical explanation for it, so I cannot believe it.

 

How would they check if your HPA axis got damaged ? Is there any reliable test for that ? And what if it is found that it is in fact not working properly ? Would you feel better if you knew ? I don't think it will. It will only add to the worry and thus make you feel worse.

 

It's not only about avoiding medications. The whole testing thing and running from doctor to doctor in search of an underlying pathology needs to end at some point too. It sounds like you've already done every test on the planet and each time you get more frustrated because they can't find anything, and then you get stressed and feel even worse than before. The things you have listed like adrenal fatigue and that HPA axis thing are not even discussed in traditional medicine as far as I know. There are people who found a market for this and are trying to rip you off. And constantly measuring blood pressure, heart rate and cortisol levels can easily lead to an obsession and again lots of worries where there shouldn't be any. You're only 28 years old. What is the chance your heart will stop beating all of a sudden ? Think about it. If you apply some logic to your case you will find that getting obsessed with your vital signs is not really helping you in any way. It is only creating anxiety, and the anxiety will send your vital signs through the roof eventually so then you will have something to really worry about. It's a pattern you will have to break somehow.

Trust me I'm equally as blown away. Part of the frustration of this is that I e given up my life for 2 years to do everything necessary to heal and if I had never taken 1 pull i would probably be healed right now. However taking meds (Ativan now this) has completely flipped my life upside down.

Adrenal fatigue is real, I had tests done in the beginning and my cortisol and dhea were all low. There's others here that have it as well. CFS can be caused by a virus or a mitochondrial dysfunction, those are real as well. Not to say I have CFS but I will need to find something out. It doesn make any sense that just 1 pill could do all that but somehow it did. I do t think it's the effect of the pill anymore tho, it set off a switch and now I'm here. Trust me tho, all I want is just to heal, that's it. I'm sick of being a medical anamole, I really just want to be healthy and feel reality again.

They really say there's no permenant damage to cognition/memory from this tho, huh?

 

I don't think it is permanent for most people. It feels that way sometimes but at least in my case I have seen improvements over time and it mostly comes back during big windows so I know it's still there, I just can't access it most of the time.

I believe my reaction was from an amino acid in the powder mix, since I had taken AA's before in tolerance w/d and felt weird.  So, my problem went the other way with anxiety and way out there cognitive mental processes.  I believe my problem is settling down, though it may have messed something up here for awhile.

 

Did you loose cognitive function too? As soon as that pill hit me I probably lost 50% of my cognitive function and memory. Im wondering if those are correlated with depersonalization. Very scary. None if it has come back

 

I sure did lose my cog function for about a week.  I was so out there after taking it, I could hardly think or funtion at all.  I felt so whacked out.  Slowly it has settled down now.  Today I felt coherent and normal more than I ever have since quitting these poisons.  It will pass Clark, it seems that you may have just been hit too hard by it at a higher dosage, so it may take a bit more time to come around.  I only took about 100mgs. of the serine and some of the other AA's.  But, all combined it was about 1000mgs.  Those amino acids are nothing to mess with during w/d.  I took some choline one time that increases dopamine and had a bad reaction to it, too.  But, that passed in a few days.  You'll be alright.  It just might take some time for your neurotransmitters to get sorted out.