What if your doctor didn't hear you?

My doctor withdrew me from 32 years of benzo use quickly. At the same time she dropped my narcotics sending me into kidney failure. I never had a stable time in the quick withdrawal. One hospital, two psychiatrists, a whole family clinic has just about killed me. They might as well have. I would be better off. I sit in a dark room, no sound, nobody can touch me, I am in terror and on the crisis hotline nearly every night because od suicidal idealization. How do you find a specialist who really knows what they are doing. I am in serious problems. The Toronto benzo withdrawal doctors will not even see me because of my history. I got myself off narcs after my GP refused. But Klonopin can't be done alone. I have major trust issues.

I'm really sorry to hear what a rough go of things you've had. You've been changed around on a lot of drugs pretty quickly, so it's really normal to feel awful, and it will get better with time.

 

Valium can take a while (at least a couple weeks) to build up to a stable level. It sounds like the most important thing for you right now is probably to connect with a doctor who's familiar with benzodiazepine dependence and knows how to withdraw people safely and with minimal discomfort. Do you have any ability to find a better doctor than the person you're seeing now? I'm definitely not advocating shopping for a doctor who will do exactly what you want, and much as saying - you're in a complicated situation, and you need an experienced professional to guide you through that.

 

If you detoxed from narcotics pretty quickly, that can cause a lot of symptoms all by itself, including unpleasant mental symptoms, but hopefully that will get a lot better much more quickly than benzo issues - for many people it does.

becky,

 

I'm so sorry that you feel your doctor hasn't heard you or been responsive to your needs.  You asked how to find a doctor who might be able to help, and that can be quite difficult. I can't personally vouch for them, however, below are the names of doctors from the a list of benzo-wise docs that has been posted on the Internet.  I hope they are not the doctors you mentioned already, that you said would not help you. If they are, I sincerely apologize. They are from this link:  http://www.benzodocs.com/

 

The tricky thing becky, is that there is no set standard for what makes a doctor "benzo-wise".  So if these doctors are new to you some of these doctors may have a lot of experience, and others may not. They are simply on the list because someone reported they had a good experience with them, it doesn't mean they will for sure suit your situation.  Therefore, it will be important to ask a lot of questions of any provider you call in an attempt to find someone who can help.

 

I'm glad you are able to call the crisis line to help you get through each night. It is critical if you are suicidal to call for help and get professional assistance. No one should have to go through this alone and you will get a lot of support by posting here, but when your life is at risk it is paramount to get local help on the ground.

 

You mentioned kidney failure and, while extremely rare, there have been reports of this happening as a result of abrupt cessation of high amounts of benzodiazepines. I assume because you are now home that you received necessary treatment for this already, if not, or if you have any further signs of organ failure for any reason you should seek immediate care. I know that can be difficult to do after the hospital, a clinic, and multiple doctors have already failed you.

 

I applaud you for continuing to seek a doctor who can provide the care you need.

 

I am sorry your suffering is so extreme right now. There are many people who have gone through extreme benzo withdrawal, have sought care like you are and have gone on to heal. Many of us have sat in a room in a state of terror like you described and can relate to what you are enduring now. I also remember the story of another woman who experienced kidney failure, as well. In her case she was advised to reinstate, did a slow taper, and healed.  I am not suggesting you reinstate, but it will be important to discuss your options with a doctor who understands what has happened to your body and brain and can help you assess the risks to your health at present and going forward.  Given the concerning systemic issues you have mentioned, it does seem paramount that you find medical care from a provider you trust. You deserve the best of care, and I hope one of the people below may either be able to assist you or refer you to someone who can.

 

If you have already contacted these folks, and they were unable to help you may want to make a post with "Seeking Toronto doctor" in the title. I know there are several BB members in Ontario who may know of providers not listed here.

 

Perseus

 

 

 

Dr. Stevien M. Melemis,

208 Bloor St. West, Suite 702

Toronto, Ontario

Phone: 416-920-2982

Email: contact@addictionsandrecovery.org.

Web site: ADDICTIONSANDRECOVERY.ORG

 

Contributor comment: "This doctor will help people with a slow taper off benzodiazepines and believes in Ashton. He is an addiction doctor and may approach the problem from that perspective."

Dr. Senthelol... Psychiatrist

Kitchener, Ontario

Phone: 519-749-4300 ext.3829

 

Contributor Comment: "When I went in for consultation she diagnosed me with Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, she based this on the heather Ashton manual."

Dr. David Slyfield

H.R Professional Building

2115 Finch Av. West, Suite 311

Toronto, Ontario, M3N 2V6

Phone: 416 746-3035

 

thanks for the info on the docs.  it any of you have a good doc hang on to them.

Hi Becky.  It wasn't until I finally realized that not one person in the medical community could or would help me that I began to get better.  I had to rely on myself, God, my family and whatever friends were willing to see me through.  It was hell. Of course if you are in danger you should call someone for help, even if it is the ER.  It's not worth losing your life.  But, it's not that your doctor doesn't hear you, it's that they do not understand and truly do not have the ability to help you 24/7 through wd. 

 

I literally laid on my bed day after day, month after month just holding on for dear life while the constant pain, nausea, spinning, tremors, etc. went on and on. The only way out is to hold on and allow your body to heal.  It's hell and no one should ever have to go through this.  I'm really sorry to hear that they let you down too.  My doctor left me to deal with it all on my own too.  I'd wind up in the ER and they'd send me home just as sick as when I first came in; because they couldn't do anything about it.  They couldn't make the wd go away.  Only time did this for me.

 

Lots of love,

Cedar

Hi Becky.  It wasn't until I finally realized that not one person in the medical community could or would help me that I began to get better.  I had to rely on myself, God, my family and whatever friends were willing to see me through.  It was hell. Of course if you are in danger you should call someone for help, even if it is the ER.  It's not worth losing your life.  But, it's not that your doctor doesn't hear you, it's that they do not understand and truly do not have the ability to help you 24/7 through wd. 

 

 

So true Cedar -

 

Many people have to come to this conclusion before the serial use of toxic psych drugs will stop.

 

Just say no more.

 

 

River

A lot of great replies from great people.  Saying that your going through a hard time is a huge understatement.  I just want you to know that I was contently on crisis lines when I was in your position.  I hadn't yet found a good doctor or a good taper plan.  I spent a lot of time in hospitals because of my suicidal tendency and thoughts (about a year and half).  I found my way, got a good doctor and was put on a good taper plan.  I'm about a month away from being benzo free for the first time in 10 years.

 

I hope you can find a good doc and find your way.  hang in there. 

A lot of great replies from great people.  Saying that your going through a hard time is a huge understatement.  I just want you to know that I was contently on crisis lines when I was in your position.  I hadn't yet found a good doctor or a good taper plan.  I spent a lot of time in hospitals because of my suicidal tendency and thoughts (about a year and half).  I found my way, got a good doctor and was put on a good taper plan.  I'm about a month away from being benzo free for the first time in 10 years.

 

I hope you can find a good doc and find your way.  hang in there.

I am in agony for 1 1/2 years now. I have contacted every doctor I can find and not one thinks it's such a big deal. Been turned down three times. The hospitals that specialize in benzo withdrawal have interviewed me, but now I haven't heard back in weeks.

Becky -

 

I am so very sorry that you are suffering so badly. Your story hurts my heart.

 

Right now I don't know what to say.     

 

I will see if I can get you some support Becky.

 

 

River

I am in agony for 1 1/2 years now. I have contacted every doctor I can find and not one thinks it's such a big deal. Been turned down three times. The hospitals that specialize in benzo withdrawal have interviewed me, but now I haven't heard back in weeks.

 

Becky, there is some wonderful advice in this forum. There are few doctors that understand this living hell and so many that merely make matters worse. You are strong and with help here can make it through this terrible time. I was forty years on these drugs but now I'm seven months post withdrawal and feeling well with just a few symptoms that are easily coped with. It really does get better.

I am in agony for 1 1/2 years now. I have contacted every doctor I can find and not one thinks it's such a big deal. Been turned down three times. The hospitals that specialize in benzo withdrawal have interviewed me, but now I haven't heard back in weeks.

 

Hi Becky did you check out any of the doctors Perseus posted you. I hope you find one soon willing to help you. Are you still at 30 mgs Valium or have you tapered further.

 

Withdrawal is an awful thing to go through, we seem to be on our own with it which makes it worse having no on ground support. Hang in Becky, keep reminding yourself its temporary, I know this doesn't take away your symptoms, but I promise you It will get better.

 

We are here for you and we are rooting for you.

 

((hugs))

 

Magrita

Hi,

 

My heart goes out to you!  While I can't attest to any of these, here is a list of "benzo-wise" docs:  http://www.benzodocs.com/

 

Please keep posting and let us know how you are; we are here for you.

 

Sunnyside