Hi All,
I thought I might share my experiences with this. I am in the thick of cutting mirt right now, so I will tell you what happens when I cut - and would be curious to know if anyone else experiences the same - or different. We learn when we share.
First, a small bit of background. So I have been a long-term mirt user, but in a choppy sort of way. I used a very low-dose of mirt (3.75 to 7.5 mg) for symptoms of anxiety from 1997 to 2012. For a long time, it worked rather well. In early 2012, the mirt seemed to no longer help, and in addition, it seemed to make things worse. There was some dizziness and morning anxiety that I felt I had narrowed down to the mirt use. In hindsight, I think the dizziness and morning anxiety were due to the onset of tolerance to Ativan and Xanax - I just didn't know that. So in early 2012, I jumped from the mirt. Benzo hell broke loose, and my life disintegrated. Fast-forward to early July 2012. I'd been off mirt for about 6 mos. I jumped from the Benzos in late [...] and found myself, as many of us do, in a psychiatric hospital - in disbelief that the benzo withdrawal could actually be messing with me THAT bad. I thought I had gone batshit[...] actually. I soon realized, in the hospital, that it was going to be about more drugs. They begged me to reinstate the benzos. Somehow, I managed to hold my resolve and declined. They pretty much wouldn't let me leave w/out a drug. So I left w/ Risperidone and Remeron. The Risp I tried and ditched quickly, the mirt I kept. They had me on 30 mg. Too MUCH. Because at 30 mg, the antidepressant qualities are activated. And most of us need the sedative qualities in early withdrawal - we don't need the lift. It was, in short, making me worse. So began, slowly but surely, the dry-cut tapers (that didn't really get serious until December 2012) that has me now down to 7.5 mg. As I went down on the mirt, I felt that it did actually begin to have benefit in my healing. It left antidepressant-action-land and became an anxiolytic. I needed some weight gain and sleep and I think that it helped those areas.
In mirt withdrawal, it is suggested to cut no more than 10%. I can not dry cut that small without completely pulverizing the tablet. And I want, and need, accuracy in the taper because I am SOOO sensitive to drug changes. In the UK, you can apparently procure liquid mirt. In the U.S., it is not available and therefore has to be mixed up by pharmacists who are able to compound. I am fortunate to have a pharmacist who does in the area, and I now have a bottle of Tutti Fruiti-flavored mirt in the fridge. It is a 1mg to 1ml equivalent - which is nice. It takes out the guess work. I take my syringe and at 7mg of mirt, I simply draw 7ml of mirt into the syringe and squirt it in my mouth. Easy peasy.
So what happens to me when I cut. Well, first, I don't cut until I stabilize. What is stability for me? The anxiety levels are low, sleep has evened out a bit, depression is low, appetite is up (and sometimes[...] out of control) and general feelings of well-being are pretty common. We all tolerate symptoms differently. I get to a point that is tolerable for me, enjoy a day or two of the solace, and then down we go again. It takes me approximately 2 to 3 weeks to gain this stability. I don't even feel a cut for 3 to 4 days after I make it. Then it settles on me, the symptoms peak, and then wane. It makes sense as it takes, when beginning mirt, 3 to 4 days (or longer) for the positive effects to really be felt. Onset, offset. And equation of balance. On to my symptoms.
Symptoms of a cut for me:
--sleep declines in duration and quality (find myself waking in the middle of the night)
--nausea and lack of appetite appear, though not horrid - but unfortunate.
--other digestive issues - use your imagination
--some muscle twitching/shakiness
--dizziness
--much higher anxiety, tho not panic
--depression at much higher levels (i don't normally have depression, so i notice this)
--irritability
--restless legs (sometimes, tho since supplementing magnesium, no issue)
--tinnitus
Those are the big ones for me. They tend to reach max. intensity within a week and then go down from there.
At this point, I plan to cut .5mg per cut until 5mg, and then smaller cuts from there so as not to exceed 10%. Keep in mind that I may be feeling some residual underlying benzo withdrawal symptoms underneath the remeron withdrawal too, so I can't squarely blame everything on the mirt w/d in total confidence. I will hold my cuts until I reach stability, even if this prolongs the withdrawal process. I'm not looking to play hero
I [...] this helps us understand this process - or at least one human's walk thru it. I would love to hear others' experiences with this process.
I am on the side of believing that mirt benefited me to some degree during benzo withdrawal. Obviously, I would have much rather not had to take ANYTHING else and therefore would have avoided this whole mirt withdrawal all together. But hindsight is useless here. It is what it is. Once off, I know I will endure mental hardship and not reach for a pill to cure it. Other coping mechanisms will have to suffice. We move forward.
Blessings and healing to all,
-[...]
