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feel like im going crazy!!!


[pj...]

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I'm 27 I've been taking Klonopin for about a year and was completely uneducated about it.  I've had bad anxiety and depression all my life.  I ran out of my prescription about 3 weeks ago and have been crippled by fear.  I keep panicing about being old, my own death, all the way down to going to the store for groceries.  Its way worse than it ever was before taking the medicine.  I can't work, socialize, it's awful and has been really bad the past few days, to the point I can't sleep.  My doctor wouldn't give me an extension until i see her on Wednesday.  I almost had a full blown panic attack this morning.  Im worried that this is just how I feel normally and that it's not because of any withdrawl.  having only been on it a year can my tolerance be high enough to withdrawl this badly?
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Hello pjp635,

 

Actually one year is a long time to be on klonopin.  These medications are truly designed for the most part for short time use, say two to three weeks.  After that point the physical dependency develops due to the mechanisms of these types of drugs and how they alter the nervous system.

 

It sounds to me like you are suffering from the effects of a cold turkey. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Even though you did have anxiety as you stated for most of your life, withdrawal anxiety is so very much worse. 

 

Three weeks off puts you in the acute withdrawal phase, thats why you feel so rough.  It is too bad that your doctor does not seem to be concerned about your sudden cessation of the drug.  It is best to taper off these types of medications.

 

Have you looked into any kind of therapy such as CBT to deal with anxiety without meds?  That might be something to look for in the future once the withdrawal effects have settled.  They will decrease with time,  your central nervous system will recover. The thing that helped me the most during the worst part of my withdrawal was distractions. Movies, books, puzzles, anything to take my mind off the symptoms. 

 

This will pass, give it some time.

 

pianogirl

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It is more than likely withdraw you are not going crazy you just need  to try deep breathing and tell your self im not going crazy how many mgs  were you on when you stopped taking it and did you taper  off it i feel like this too and im tapering the anxiety is bad but i jut tell myself its anxiety im not crazy i try too distract myself
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Thank u for ure feedback. Im trying to remind myself that this isnt me but its hard. Just had my 3rd straight night of almost no sleep. And im still just so scared. Even to leave home. I see my psychiatrist wed. Im dreading having to be this way til then. :(
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All those little gaba receptors are working hard on healing and restoring themselves ,,, give them time...your not crazy, your in withdrawal. 

What mg were you on?

 

Molly :smitten:

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U R not going crazy.  The former replies are correct about these symptoms being sxs of the wd & GABAs rebuilding & working very hard to get you to a normal state.  I've been addicted to L. for 8 yrs & do not know how I really was a yr after starting it because didn't know was addicted until 1st rapid taper...but from what I've researched many benzos only take 4-6 wks to become addictive...in the brain. 

Please try ways to cope w/ the anxiety & feelings & keep telling yourself it is the wd's.

I have to make myself paint, read, or zone out to some comedy stupid TV just to relax some days.  I don't know if you pray but it helps too. During worse symptoms I would shut myself in house, not drive, not go anyplace & curl up in a blanket to a DVD or TV and pray allot for endurance & inner strength. This is a long process & takes will power. Anything positive to take your mind off of sxs helps.  ;D

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Mate I CT'd as well...it gets better, im three months out and they are manaeable now, the adrenaline rushes are still there, but the actual panic has subsided mostly. You are not mad at all, but god I know it feels like and you want to check yourself into a hospital. I had no one around me for the entire three months, so what i think is that you talk to someone about whats going on, get them to read info on benzo withdrawal..

 

I spent my days doing breathing excecises and very light stretching to fire the para-sympathetic nervous system, it dosent last long each time, but have a break and go back to it, it gets you through, and yoga/breathing is known to stimulate gaba. Meditation is tough when you first come out..although strangely i found it easier at first, now I find it worse! I think potentially as meditation has started to remind me of those three months, i need to get over that one!

 

maybe as your only three weeks out, resintatement might work per Ashton manual..I believe she says two weeks out max, but I personally would of reinstated at three weeks if i found this website then! Keep the faith buddy, your not insane  :thumbsup:

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Hi pjp,

At only 3 weeks out, its possible you could re-instate your med and start a taper. There is no way to predict what will happen. Acute withdrawal can last up to about 4 weeks! Acute withdrawal is thought to be the most dangerous time period. And then, no telling the rate you will heal.

I truly wish I HAD reinstated way back when I cold turkey'd. Everything I read paints a rather dismal picture for us...and it worries me. But I have made it this long ( 9 monthes-) and will not consider going back on at this point. TOO risky, for me!

east

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I'm with East Coast 62/ I did a c/t off high dose and it was awful awful....It took a really reallylong timeto feel sort of normal. I had all the paranoia, obsessive compulsive. It was pretty trying, so if I could revisit that, I would go back to a taper. I had no idea bout it at that time.....as I have come to believe that it is harder to heal that way. I kept thinking, well, it is 4 weeks, it will get better soon, but it took like 9,onths...not to freak you out, but that is how long it took to be sort of stable....Not impossible, but here I am 5 yrs later taking Ativan> it is a small amt for insomnia, but again, here I am. wth. :-) This time I wil :-\ :-l taper off and hopefully be done forever with the benzo hot mess.
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Your not crazy, That's lack of Klonopin in your brain.    Best to figure out a taper plan and not leave it too long, this could just be the beginning and it could go on for 6 months or more.  For me it just got worse and worse month after month but I was on a higher dose.  Everyone is different, hard to say but I would not chance it, a taper is the safe road.
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How are you doing today? Same?

The acute phase does last quite a while. It depends what you read, whether its 4 weeks or more. Doesnt matter...while its going on you feel completely at the mercy of the insanity. Please, please, know that everything youre feeling, thinking, is "normal" for benzo withdrawal! You havent lost your mind, and its not the resurgence of old anxietyies and feelings. Benzo withdrawal is just about impossible to describe, because it can cause so many different symptoms. And though we share a lot of stuff, each person's withdrawal will be a little different.

Please hang on. Time heals this stuff.

east

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Birdman, I see in your signiture u experienced psychosis, was that right after you stopped the drug or a few months later? What happend?
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Pjp you are not going crazy. I am tapering off xanax and I wanted to tell you please if you make it to your Dr and you start taking the drug again, please please please taper yourself off, very slowly. Read the taper plans here. I did my first 1mg taper wrong in so many ways I'm now tapering off last 1mg I first did 1/8 cut very hard then I did a 1/16 cut still hard but couple of manageable days. (I don't leave the house, agoraphobia) 2nd 1/16 taper I'm scared but I'm trying my best to be positive. This website and the people in it are a great help. You understand what I'm saying? You are addicted you can not stay on it. This is nothing to be taken lightly don't think, yes, I've made it to Dr I've got my drugs I'm going to feel better now and be fine. Eventually the drug will fail you while you're taking it. . There is no way around it, you just can not stay on benzos they are like no other drug. Many years ago I c/t valuim then klonopin not knowing why my Anxiety (i have Anxiety,panic that's why the benzos) was so bad and for so long. Xanax has been hell. Please what ever you decide, rather to go back on and do slow taper  or not go back on.  Just be sure to get off of them a STAY off of them.  They are not your friend.
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