about me

Hi,

Never have I encountered a challenge that is so tenacious, relentless and seemingly futile.  Been in and out of 5 detox centers, some at my own expense, since my insurance company contracts out to the worst facilities on earth. I am 3 1/2 years into this Ativan.  I have been taking it for a real condition since 1997. I closed my 15 year business 4 years ago and the panic attacks were constant. This was a problem since I was born with an extra conductor in my heart (which is kind of cool-but not) and I would think that the attacks were going to the tachycardia place - so Ativan here I come.  I have isolated myself in the last 4 years and am completely opposite of who I have always seen myself to be.  Just got home from number 5 (on my own dime) and they almost killed me. When I got home I tried to repair the damage by bringing the dosage to a level where I could get some sleep.  15 days at the detox center with no sleep and no food (I was afraid to eat and start an attack-sounds illogical but that's where my panic attacks start- in my chest and on a full stomach). They did manage to get me off a very high dosage that had increased very quickly (like always - especially during challenging situations) and I am sitting at 5 - 6 mgs. of Ativan.  My psychiatrist who was tapering me down dropped me when I told him about the return to high doses and the detox nightmare. 

For the people who have kicked this monster I ask? Can it be done...I can't stand the thought of another 6 months to a year of tapering...

Are there any meetings I could attend that are just for Benzo people?

Thanks for being here..

stuck in so cal

Only time will heal, and only small frequent cuts will do the job in my opinion. I have taken well over a year, but looking back on it it was worth it. I lost my job, and darned near lost my sanity, but I finally have hope again. If I can, you can. I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel and I was finished, and I hated to read these kinds of stories cuz I didn't believe it could happen to me, but it did.

You've come to the right place bro (sis?). Welcome.

T

Hey stuck in so cal,

Yep you can get off these things. Probably not in a short time but it can be done, and you can be functional  for the most part while you're doing it. It'll take tenacity and patience on your part but ... what is the alternative?

To start we recommend that at the beginning you taper 10% of your dose (after you get stabilized, meaning relatively comfortable or at least consistent in your withdrawal symptoms) every 10-14 days.  So if you're at 5 mgs of Ativan, then you stay there for a week or two then drop down to 4.5 mg for two weeks then drop 10% of that and keep going down that way.

When you get to the really low doses, you may want to titrate. When that happens, give a holler and one of our titration gurus will work up a schedule for you.

Glad to have you here and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

rufus

Hi Stuck,

Again, welcome to BBO. I'm so sorry to hear about your battles with Ativan and panic attacks. Benzos are a tenacious beast as you mentioned. Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes to getting off of these. The best way is a slow and steady taper to allow your brain to adjust to the chemical being withheld. You mentioned that your heart condition causes your panic attacks, is that correct? Is there something else you can do to minimize them besides using the Ativan? Have you tried Cognitive Behavior Therapy by a qualified psychiatrist? Have you read the Ashton Manual? Professor Heather Ashton is a dr. who is well versed in the best way to get off of benzos. I will provide a link to it below. Since Ativan is a short acting benzo, it may be recommended that you cross over to valium as indicated in the manual. I will close for now, let you digest some of the info provided and others will be by to provide their encouragement and experiences. Please feel free to peruse other's blogs and ask additional questions you may have.

Hang in there!

T2 

Here is the link...................

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/index.htm

Hi Stuck,

I, too, want to Welcome you and assure that you can get off these drugs.  It may take longer than you would like but well worth it.  Doing a scheduled taper is the only safe way off.  If there was an easier we would tell you  (and do it ourselves ) but there just isn't.  The easiest way to make up your mind that this is what it's going to take and it will take a while.  When it's over you will have your life back and no more detox centers. 

You've come to the best place to get advice and support

San Diego had the first, and to my knowledge, the only still operating Benzo's Anonymous Group in the USA. Los Angeles did have one for many years. I would check the San Diego hospitals and treatment centers for a referral. Bill Hermanski started them but he is quite elderly now and no longer involved. Dr. Robert McFarland was our resident benzo expert doctor but he passed last year....his office had meetings but I do not beleive they do now.

I held them in Palm Springs for several years but when I moved no one wanted to keep the doors open.

Sit

San Diego had the first, and to my knowledge, the only still operating Benzo's Anonymous Group in the USA. Los Angeles did have one for many years. I would check the San Diego hospitals and treatment centers for a referral. Bill Hermanski started them but he is quite elderly now and no longer involved. Dr. Robert McFarland was our resident benzo expert doctor but he passed last year....his office had meetings but I do not beleive they do now.

 

I held them in Palm Springs for several years but when I moved no one wanted to keep the doors open.

 

Sit

 

Are you recommending the benzo group in San Diego?  Is that the name of the group the "Benzo's Anonymous Group?"  After being in 5 detox centers I would hardly take the recommendation of another "treatment center," especially after the last go around. 

Do you have any information on someone who is living and operating with success?

Are you recommending the benzo group in San Diego?  Is that the name of the group the "Benzo's Anonymous Group?"  After being in 5 detox centers I would hardly take the recommendation of another "treatment center," especially after the last go around. 

 

Do you have any information on someone who is living and operating with success?

This group does not come recommended by Benzo Buddies as far as I know, and I for one would be wary of it.

Hi Stuck!!

Unfortunately I don't know of any BA groups nor could I even find a detox center that specialized in benzo withdrawal when I was going through it.  It can be done and it can be done on your own.  Stick around here and get help from the people here who are going through it or have been through it.  I did it on my own without even the help of a nice forum like this.  The forum I was at at the time wouldn't help me because I was taking Prozac and couldn't get Valium.  You can do this buddie...I know you can!!

Love,

Jen

The Benzo groups are not "Run" by the treatment centers. They are run by benzo survivors and are totally separate.

Bill started the first benzo group about 20 years ago as a branch of Pills Anonymous

Sit

Sit,

The link you provided was not for a group meeting as was requested but a link to another on-line forum.  This is strictly against BB rules, the link and phone # have been deleted for that reason.  Please visit our forums rules and regulations.

Tropicalsoul

Hi,

Just another buddy.....

So sorry that you are going through all of this. 

Yes, you can make it.  I am into my 7th week of going cold turkey (not my idea, my docs) off of 4 mgs. of Klonopin, for 13 years.  If I can make it, basically a big baby and a whiner:), then anybody can!

Just know that you are not alone and that things will get better.  We all have ups and downs. 

I met with my therapist yesterday, and she told me she just had gone to an all-day seminar on benzo withdrawal.  She agreed and admitted that the medical community is very far behind on knowing how to take care of us.  She was actually amazed at my story and was writing it all down, for further reference.  That is so sad, that we have to teach them.

Hang in there, and you will come through this.  Stronger and able to help others.

Carol1956

Carol,

Yes it is very sad that we have to educate our own doctors. I had three prescibe this klonopoison to me and not one told me how hard it was to get off of.  Give her BBO internet site and have her read about people's stories and their lives that have been put on hold while w/d from these insidious drugs.

T2

Hi,

I was out of town yesterday and just read your message.  Thanks for the advice.  I will give my therapist the website for here.  It sure has been a blessing to me!

Started the Buspar about 4 days ago.  Didn't really want to be on anything else, but this c/t w/d has definitely taken it's toll on this old body!  Woke up yesterday with a 102 temp and swelling and pain all around my face, under my eyes and ears, went to Urgent Care and was told that my glands were infected.  Was put on 2000 mgs. a day of Penicillan. Fever is gone today but bones in face still tender.  I guess that's what happens when you don't sleep or eat for almost 7 weeks:(

I guess that's what happens when you don't sleep or eat for almost 7 weeks:(

Oh Yikes! I'm so sorry to hear that.