Author Topic: How to Sleep  (Read 11630 times)

[Buddie]

How to Sleep
« on: April 05, 2013, 04:22:33 pm »
I have been reading posts written on the sleepnet forum by a user named Tom-N-Texas and it's been incredibly helpful for me, I decided to quote this one post in particular as I feel it might be useful to someone.

"Being out of options is almost never a good thing. When things go bad we always look for a way out. It's human nature. But I propose that taking away your options is the first and most important wonderful thing you can do to get back to a normal life.

When I first started having insomnia the one thing I lived for was uncovering what my cure would be. I knew it had to be out there....and my job was to find it. The thought of being out of options was just absolutely terrifying. But I was just sure there would be some miracle medication. Afterall, I had seen tons of late-night commercials promoting sleep aids and mood-altering drugs...and I vaguely remember news reports claiming melatonin was helping millions of people sleep. My head was in the dark and I didn't know much about sleep supplements, but I had faith that there was something that would ultimately save me from total self-destruction. Similarly I remember driving all over town looking for the two books mentioned on this site. I must have frantically called or visited a dozen bookstores...fearing more sleepless nights until I finally obtained that knowledge and insight.

Let me quickly and awkwardly sway off course by offering a weird analogy : When you were young did you ever have a crush on someone at school....and for weeks and weeks you thought dreamy thoughts of him/her....and you told all your friends how cute he/she was? And then somewhere along the way you finally got the nerve to ask her out and she smirks at you or looks at you like you're crazy? And then out of desperation you tell her how pretty she is and how much you think about her. Then later on you hear from a friend that she's been telling people that she thinks you're geeky. Soon your brain does a 180 and it suddenly occurs to you that you no longer have any attraction for her at all..I mean all your attraction just vanishes because she's made you look like a fool. That's what happens when you run out of options. Your brain diverts your attention by completely switching gears.

That's kind of what happened with me and my insomnia. After I exhausted all options and ACCEPTED that there was nothing I could really do or take to help the situation, I finally gave in. I remember after a particularly brutal string of sleepless nights I pulled my hair and screamed "I hate you...I hate you...I hate you...you filthy piece of disgusting garbage!" I cursed it up and down for totally ruining and consuming my life. I yelled at it for taking everything that I loved away from me. I soon realized that I wanted as far away from that current lifestyle as I could possibly get. I had hit bottom...and I had finally had enough of the game. And that's all it was: a game. The stay up late game. The go to bed early game. The lay on the couch all day game. The internet game. The skip work game. The supplement game. The bad mood game. The trying to figure it out game. The crying game. The false hope game. The feeling sorry for myself game. I no longer wanted anything to do with that crap. So....I did the only thing left that I could do: I just quit playing.

I know the thought of having no help and no backup is terrifying to many. But trust me: Your body can react in strange and wonderful ways when it's pushed up against the wall with no help and no options. In fact, I say that's exactly what NEEDS to happen because options are pure poison to the mind. Listen closely: You can never fully relax or trust yourself if there is a bottle of pills calling your name. However, once you toss those pills out forever, the game is over. It's very simple psychology. Similarly I don't believe you can every fully relax until you trust yourself to sleep unaided and untricked. This should be your your main focus.

And if you think about it, it really shouldn't be that difficult of a decision. I mean are those pills currently giving you a restful 7 or 8 hours of sleep? Some people (myself included) are just a gluten for punishment. They just keep doing what doesn't work...over and over and over. Let me tell you a secret: if you can't sleep well with your current regiment....and it doesn't matter what time you go to bed....or what time you wake up....or what food you put in your body....or whether you do relaxation exercises....or if you take a hot bath.....or if you take vitamins.......or ANYTHING ELSE.............if none of that works for you, then what is there to stress over? I mean seriously??? Why are you empowering unimportant things like you do? Why do you continue to do and take stuff that hasn't and couldn't possibly solve your problem?

Now to be honest, you may still stress out over not sleeping. But that would be the only thing....and heck that can be managed....(As I'll show you in Part 2) With a little practice and confidence, you'll learn that being stressed over sleep often won't effect you. I stress over sleep every night, but sleep just fine. And think of it, You would be stripping away all the layers of crap you've built up over the past months or years. The stay up late game would be over...as would the false hope game, the medication game, and every other dumb game I mentioned. All history forever. There's nothing left but you and only you. The real you. The you you've wanted back for months or years. Granted, it might be the tired you sometimes...but you're back.

And suddenly you can start making your own rules and following your own instincts as opposed to following someone else's twisted vision of what's best for you. Suddenly you realize you don't have to follow a strict regiment all evening in preparation for bed. Suddenly you realize there's nothing required of you to go to sleep. Suddenly you realize that you CAN in fact go to sleep on your own. Suddenly you realize that 3 hours of REAL sleep beats 4 hours of drugged sleep hands down. Suddenly you realize that your life is looking more and more like it did before your insomnia started...the life of no pills, no tricks, no techniques, no false hope in worthless cures, no options.

But the key to all this is to command of yourself that you will never do any of it again. Ever. You can never again bend over backwards and allow your life to be consumed by medication. You see, I believe even the simple act of PONDERING medication is just as destructive as actually taking it. Laying in bed each night with the medication option lurking in your brain is the worst poison ever. As well, waiting for a chosen medication to kick in is also poison.

Now granted, there are no guarantees in life. You may not always sleep well, and you may not always feel well...but that's the extent of it. By ridding your mind of all that other garbage you'll be amazed how much room it has to breath, think rationally and become focused on what's really important as opposed to being dependent, depressed and hopeless. By eliminating medications forever you are forcing your mind and body to perform....it has no choice....and no future alternative. And I believe once it DOES perform your confidence will amazingly start growing....And a little voice of reason might just whisper in your brain that you're heading in the right direction.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will never take another medication for sleep. Maybe it's just me, but that is actually a comforting and relaxing thought. Also it's relaxing and comforting to know that I will never go back to playing games. Also I'll only go to bed when I'm sleepy. And I'll never again listen to or follow anyone else's expert advice. And I'll never again try to figure anything out or analyze my insomnia. And finally I'll never put false hope into things that could never possibly make a difference. All these realizations help me relax at night. They're the same realizations that I used to help me climb out of my personal hell. It gives me a great sense of comfort to know the truth about what once was so confusing.

And you know what??? I'm actually not the only one who thinks this weird way. I believe most normal sleepers would almost certainly endorce this philosophy. They don't run around doing backflips or taking medications for sleep! I think normal sleepers should be our mentors. We should learn from those who are doing it right. That's true of almost anything in life: Look at those who excel and copy their every move.

Good luck, Tom"

Original Link : http://www.sleepnet.com/insomnia27/messages/537.html

Part 2: http://www.sleepnet.com/insomnia27/messages/565.html
Part 3: http://www.sleepnet.com/insomnia27/messages/627.html
« Last Edit: April 05, 2013, 10:10:21 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2013, 10:28:58 am »
Amazing thread. I have spent more than 200$ in supplements... because I'm afraid of facing sleep time without any pill... whatever it is.

On the the other hand I haven't obtained any combination that really works and to the top of it... I know that depending on ANY pill for sleep is bad psychologically speaking....

You opened my eyes in some way

I'll try tonight without pills, rituals, or whatever.

Thank you
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2013, 09:06:07 pm »
Hi [...], How did you get on last night with the sleep...inspiring on how to sleep. x
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2013, 12:19:30 pm »
This thread has been very helpful to me over the past few weeks. I'm still not sleeping very well a lot of the time, but my fear of the whole thing has evaporated. Life is good. I trust my body to be getting at least the minimum sleep I need, and I'm finding that even what seems like a small amount of sleep gives me the necessary energy to go to work, to work out at the gym, and to enjoy my free time.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2013, 12:30:55 pm »
I had to get past the part about "no more options". I did not like that idea until I got at what the person writing was getting to. Then I think I agree.

I started trying to get a handle on this sleep thing about 6 months ago when I stopped taking Trazadone for sleep. The idea with that drug is to take it before bed. When I stopped it I no longer could go to sleep at the same time and depend on staying asleep for some kind of minimum. But by that time my sleep was torture, so I was not getting good sleep any time.

For me the trick was to accept that at any given time I may not be able to sleep at all, but that I will always fall asleep SOMETIME. My biggest fear was lack of sleep before work, because I felt that I could just not make it through work without rest before work.

Now I lie down when I need to rest my brain, and if I sleep that is fine, but if I can just be still, watching TV or just listening to it, with my eyes closes, usually I get enough rest for work. And afterwards I can always sleep if I am tired.

Jumping off K totally messed up my sleep for the first week, but in second the week I am almost sleeping as well as I did when using K.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2013, 03:10:24 pm »
This is exactly what I needed to hear and have come to terms with....This is how my benzo nightmare started....insomnia. Thank you [...] for posting this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2013, 05:17:13 pm »
Bump for [...].
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2013, 10:51:27 pm »
Thank your [...] :)

From tonight on, I'll rely only on myself to sleep
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2013, 01:07:01 am »


I'll give this a try and see what happens. Sleep is elusive.  :(
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to Sleep
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2013, 01:43:08 pm »
I have been dealing with insomnia for 20 years.  Was on ambien, 10 to 20 mg. a night for years.  Occasionally slept a few hours but felt miserable overall.  That drugged feeling is horrible and brings you down.  My anxiety went through the roof along with depression.  I also was on 1 mg. of Ativan daily at that time. 

Finally had enough and got off the restoril and Ativan.  Still not a good sleeper and always feel I need a crutch at night to sleep.. That can be some benydrl, melatonin or some other natural sleep aid.  I certainly recommend this as opposed to prescription meds. I think when you do sleep it is more of a quality sleep. Just better mentally when not using meds.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.