THE STOLEN 27 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING

I was first put on Benzodiazepines 1985 and have now been off all Benzodiazepines since 1989 the drugs may be a thing of the past but the damage they have caused me is an everlasting hell the misery is still continuing 27 years later.

I am still in constant pain after so many years, and the horrors still continue, doctors prescribe their drugs then leave us to get off them and the suffering consequences of trusting the drugs you are given or should I say I did in those days. I have been off these drugs since 1989; I am still in the cycles of hell known as the protracted withdrawal from the Benzodiazepines, it now part of my life. The symptoms are horrendous; any movement is so painful my sensations are so unreal, my thoughts are mixed up; my body and mind have been damaged by these drugs. I can’t even take pain killers or any other drugs to help cope with all my problems my sensitivities are so high nothing helps. 

All this is the never ending horrors I have to live with day in and day out. Some 6 years ago I had a brain tumor removed I now walk leaning forward all the time. This just adds to all the problems caused from the aftermath of Benzodiazepines.

The medical profession and the drug company’s responsible for making these drugs both have very little interest in the problems their drugs have generated, the government have no interest in helping people in my situation, and they are only interested in helping the self-inflict illegal drug users, no help false hope and false promises are all we have had over the years.

Doctors don’t know the darker side of the drugs they prescribe they are aware of the problem the drugs cause but they still hand them out.

Will this nightmare ever end or am I sentenced to a life of misery.

 

So you used benzos for 4 years, yet 27years later you have not healed or had any improvements whatsoever? That's devastating and discouraging to most of us in withdrawal. Goes to show that permanent damage exists maybe? I don't know. Sorry for your suffering.

 

What benzo did you use and for how long? And might it be that you're suffering was the onset sx of your tumor? Did you take any other meds apart from benzos prior to benzo use? And during withdrawal? What was your dose and did you cold turkey or taper. Perhaps if you gave us precise details on your use of benzos and withdrawal we will be able to understand better... 27years is a long damn time to suffer. Take care

 

Dave.

I know what your going through,I used klonopin for 16 years and then my doc took me off cold turkey,back in march 2008,and I still haven,t healed,in am still sick most of the time myself,and I am so tired of being reassured only to be let down again,I feel your pain,valley. Angel :-\

i am so sorry to hear that you've been suffering for that long! yes you're right that the drug companies have very little interest

in the problems their drugs have created. i am also wondering if they're making benzo's stronger and/or differently?

 

i have been on benzo's for over 20 years. i also had 7 years benzo free during that time and i had a lot of protracted w/d symptoms that i just never realized they were protracted w/d. i just thought i was becoming very sick. and then i was diagnosed with MS in 2002 which  led me to being back on the benzo's for another ten plus years. and i just did a c/t from both benzo's and soma.

 

i ma 11 months out and i am still bed-ridden during the day. i'm kinda okay with being bed-ridden for now as i feel like i still need a lot of rest. i figure that my body is healing from a life time of being on this stuff.

 

but i am finally noticing healing happening. i know i still have a long way to go and i may or may not have MS, i won't know until i am fully healed from benzo withdrawal. but i will die trying my best to heal from this and every aspect of my life.

 

i really hope things will change for you as 27 years is a long time to still be suffering! there are so many people who have healed and yes there are those people who do take years and years but they eventually heal--at least the ones i have spoken to like this woman named Geraldine who is the reason The Ashton Manual got started by Dr. Ashton. she told me that she took 11 years to heal but is now totally healed. and there are other's too so i still think you can heal from this!

 

i hope you do!

 

blessing ~ pretty

I think it must be said that for the majority of people this is not the norm. I feel many here would give up if they thought withdrawal problems were going to last this long. For my part there would have been no point inflicting withdrawal on myself because if it took all this time I would be nearly 100 but more likely dead! As it is I am getting my life back after just a few months and hope to see the disappearance of all my symptoms in a few more months and then a happy, drug free existence for my remaining years.

 

  Some drastic changes had to be made in my own life after my withdrawal.  It hasn't been easy but I feel truly alive now.

 

Kat

 

Thank you for this Kat

Shew. This post is depressing. Sorry about your suffering.

Yes, distressing to hear what is happening with you. But its good you knew you could post about this openly and honestly.

Im not clear on whats going on, as your story is confusing to this old benzo brained woman. Is the severe pain only since you stopped taking a benzo?

What does the doctor say is causing the pain?

east

Valeley,I don't mean to sound insensitive,but how can someone suffer as intensely as you claim for 27 years straight? Are you sure you are being forthcoming with everthing?i'm sorry but this is too much.I think if I was still suffering at 27 months,I would probaly be kicking down some doors at that point,heck I feel like kicking on some doors right now,and i'm only at 5 months.Please forgive me if i'm wrong.

Please forgive me once again Valely if I came off too insensetive,your post just caught me off guard,and I just didn't want to believe that these drugs can cause such devestation.I pray you heal soon.This boggles the mind.

I think it has to be said that there has to be issues here other than benzo withdrawal. Everyone goes onto a benzo for a reason in the first place, and just because the benzo is stopped doesn't mean that the original problem has gone away. Not all medication is bad, and sometimes people just need to accept that they may need to be on certain medications to maintain a quality of life. I'm not saying that the OP isn't suffering. They obviously are. I'm just saying that there must be more to the situation than just benzo withdrawal.

Hi again Valeley,you said that you had a brain tumor removed.My friend of thirty yeras had a brain tumor removed,and before she had the opperation, she had a lot of the symptoms that are common in benzo withdrawal,it took a while before her doc discovered what was wrong with her.That was 20 years ago,and she is still in a wheelchair,she had to learn to talk again,how to eat again,plus she has been on seizer meds for 20 years.So i'm wondering if your brain opperation may have something to do with your situation.

I have a few thoughts on this thread. First, no one here really wants to admit the possibility of someone being permanently and severely damaged - because it flies in the face of our own hopes. Second, no one here should at the same time be so naive as to not suppose that occasionally some ill-intentioned person may register on this blog and post things intended to frighten or upset everyone else. Yes, people can be that mean-spirited. Third, for those who believe in God, Jesus said not a sparrow falls to the ground apart from our heavenly father's will - implying a tremendous amount of providence over EVERYTHING (good or bad) that occurs. Fourth, for those who believe in God, we may and should seek help from our creator:

 

"In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the LORD, but only from the physicians." (2 Chronicles 16:12)

 

If Valely is not speaking the truth, it will become obvious over time for any of a number of reasons.

 

In the meantime, take heart. It is a FACT that the human body has a truly remarkable if not miraculous power to heal itself. Check this out as evidence:

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-20090911.html

 

And remember this: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" (Luke 12:25)

 

Valid point point Kevin.If I was still suffering badly after 27 years,I think I would go back on the benzo,and just stay on it.

Second, no one here should at the same time be so naive as to not suppose that occasionally some ill-intentioned person may register on this blog and post things intended to frighten or upset everyone else. Yes, people can be that mean-spirited.

 

 

That's exactly what I was alluding to in my post, but you've had the courage to come right out and say it....lol....

 

It's interesting that the OP was actually online while I was making my previous post, yet has now logged off without posting anything more. I would have thought that someone who was genuine would have wanted to impart a bit more information, when some of us have appeared to be confused by what they said.

 

I'm sorry to say it, but I have a feeling that this is one of those "OMG!!!" scaremongering posts that will come along every so often. This is exactly what people DON'T need to see here. We have enough people who are scared and suffering already, without this kind of cruelty.

 

However, if I'm wrong, I will happily apologise to the OP. So please OP, come back and prove me wrong. Please give us more information, because if this is true it is indeed worrying, but I still maintain that there must be causes for the problems other than benzo withdrawal, especially after 27 years.

I dunno, doubt he posted this deliberately to scare people....ths post was written in a rather scattered manner, dont you think?

Id guess theres a whole lot more going on than we know. Wish he'd come back and write more.

east

Well she did say that she had a brain tumor,a friend of mine has been on seizer meds for 20 years because of a brain tumor,and she lost some mental ability.

I'm a direct, blunt person. I'm sorry but I don't buy a a withdrawal from anything lasts 27 years. I'm one who doesn't simply believe everything I hear or read.

 

If I were still struggling at 27 years out, I would look into something other than withdrawal. Especially if you are as bad off as let's say when you first stopped them. I would think the brain tumor has something to do with it. Forgive me if I seem cold because I'm not, just stating a fact!

 

To come on a forum with people who are lost, anxious and saying "27 years off a pill and still suffering" is discouraging at best, especially in a state of anxiety because it's so easy to jump the gun, thinking "Yep, that will be me overlooking your history".

 

If it is withdrawal, it's the longest case I have ever seen or read about, and I simply do not think it is. If I'm wrong, then I guess I'm wrong, but I never heard of it.

 

I hope whatever it is, you get well soon.

 

Again, I'm not writing this to be a cold person, just how I see it from what you gave of your history. I'm no doctor either, so it's not medical advice, but an opinion.

I totally agree with you Billy. I'm also pretty reluctant to believe everything I read.

 

Take a look at her intro post that was made almost 2 years ago. There is a huge difference in the writing skills of both posts. Now that could mean she has deteriorated in that time frame, or it could mean that this isn't what it seems, but where has she been all that time?

 

There's also just too much other information missing for me to take this seriously I'm afraid - like why was she put on benzos in the first place, what dose was she on, what benzo was it, what meds is she on now (although she claims her central nervous system won't allow her to take other meds), and what other conditions has she been tested for? I think the benzo and dose are the two crucial pieces of information that are missing here. Anyone posting about their hatred of benzos would surely name the one they were taking.

 

I'm sure there will be a lot of people who will believe this poster, because they WANT to believe they have permanent damage, but I'm someone who just doesn't believe that taking a benzo for four years would then permanently damage you for the rest of your life. There are people who have been on benzos for half their life and they come off and eventually heal.  If there is truth to the amount of suffering this poster is going through, I seriously doubt it has come from her benzo use.

 

It's interesting that there is a continuing discussion in another section about a site that claims BB is a cult. Food for thought anyone??

 

Anyway, like I said, I'm happy to be proven wrong.

I totally agree with you Billy. I'm also pretty reluctant to believe everything I read.

 

Take a look at her intro post that was made almost 2 years ago. There is a huge difference in the writing skills of both posts. Now that could mean she has deteriorated in that time frame, or it could mean that this isn't what it seems, but where has she been all that time?

 

There's also just too much other information missing for me to take this seriously I'm afraid - like why was she put on benzos in the first place, what dose was she on, what benzo was it, what meds is she on now (although she claims her central nervous system won't allow her to take other meds), and what other conditions has she been tested for? I think the benzo and dose are the two crucial pieces of information that are missing here. Anyone posting about their hatred of benzos would surely name the one they were taking.

 

I'm sure there will be a lot of people who will believe this poster, because they WANT to believe they have permanent damage, but I'm someone who just doesn't believe that taking a benzo for four years would then permanently damage you for the rest of your life. There are people who have been on benzos for half their life and they come off and eventually heal.  If there is truth to the amount of suffering this poster is going through, I seriously doubt it has come from her benzo use.

 

It's interesting that there is a continuing discussion in another section about a site that claims BB is a cult. Food for thought anyone??

 

Anyway, like I said, I'm happy to be proven wrong.

 

Exactly!

 

If I read every negative post reflecting on how the person is feeling at the time, I would be hopeless about any subject, not just a drug.

 

The internet is a place where we can't see the person's authentic self, so writing can be perceived in so many different ways. When you feel like crap, then you will perceive it that way.

 

I'm not stating this because of the OP, but in a world like we live in, people love money too. That's no secret. I'm not pointing out anyone at all. BUT when it comes to a topic where injury seems to be the focus, people like to sue, and will drag their injury out to the fullest to get a few thousand. Especially where there seems to be hype.

 

Also, just because a person that feels crappy a few years out doesn't mean they are in the throes of it. It just means they have a few things ailing them.

 

There's too many circumstances to jump the gun over a single post.

 

And you're right, there are pieces missing.

 

The guy that you speak of bashing people couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

 

He's not the crunchiest chip in the bag if you know what I mean.

 

 

 

 

 

Ooops, valely is a she, not a he. I read the intro post, and its basically just a longer version of this post. I suspect theres a WHOLE lot more going on here, probably both medically and psychiatrically, and I guess we will never know the truth.

No matter what, its a sad story. I wonder how she found her way here, and really, why?

Then again, it actually could be a plant, someone who wants to stir things up - Those people do exist. But Im not letting paranoia get me, not today!

east

This poster claims to have been on benzo for 4 years and OFF them 27 years, Kat - not on them for 27 years. That's the rub for some of us. Even Dr. Peart made quite an amazing recovery after a horrid and long 16 year poly drug victimization that had reduced him to being homeless and virtually retarded:

 

http://www.drregpeart.org/reg_story.html

Kevin,  Thank you for the clarification.  My apologies.

Yes Kat, I think you need to re-read the first post, and also the OP's intro post. Four years on and then 27 years off.

 

No one is trying to be unkind. I would have to be one of the least judgemental people here, but it's just that if you take all the stated information into account, there are a lot of unanswered questions and doubts over the validity of this post.

 

I definitely don't want to dismiss the poster if they are genuine. I think it is possible they are genuine, but if they are I honestly don't believe the problems are purely because she was on a benzo for only four years.

 

The questions I would like answered are what benzo was she on, what was the dose and what was the reason she was put on the benzo in the first place? Is it possible that this condition is what has been causing her all this distress over the years? Benzos don't cure anything. All they do is mask underlying symptoms.

 

I guess we'll never know though unless the OP decides to come back and clarify the situation, which I would welcome.

No problem, Kat. We all read with our heart sometimes instead of our eyes (or mind).