Author Topic: Intrusive Thoughts  (Read 6319 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2008, 04:49:44 am »
i tapered unsuccesfully last year, but did it quickly this year from 30mg valium (at least) to 5mg, then half, completely off in august.  I'v found things settled down after reading all your posts and finding it is a pretty  common reaction. The problem being 6 years of using valium serapax mogadon temezepam (prescribed for Post Traumatic stress/shock, these drugs masked it, and as soon as I came off, I got all of the post trauma symptoms in one hit, and no one understood why it took so long to go through it.  I also found caffiene to make it worse, so cutting that out, I almost feel myself again today. Hugs for all!
[...]
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[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2008, 05:06:17 pm »
Hi [...],

I have the intrusive and disturbing thoughts, also.  They usually start early in the morning and last through until early afternoon. From some of these intrusive thoughts, I developed some phobias early on in the withdrawal process, that are now kind of going away.  I also have some insomnia, in that I have not been sleeping more than 4 1/2 to 5 hours. 

I seem to be very open to suggestion also, something that I never was before all of the Xanax business.  I have alot of fear and just feel weird.  Also, my short term memory seems to be off sometimes.  Good for you for getting off of the caffeine.  I stopped the caffeine intake very early on and I guess it helped.  I do miss my espresso and coffee, though.  I'm on chamomile tea now, I usually drink it all day.

Anyway, I hope you feel better today.  Just keep reminding yourself that these are the drugs coming out of your system and not the real you.  I keep having to remind myself.


Take Care,
Tammy
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2008, 09:44:21 am »
I was just about to make a post to see if others had felt this when I stumbled upon this post.

Obsessive, intrusive thoughts are probably one of my most severe symptoms because of the frequency. It's all the time, every day for me. I've developed anxiety about situations when I normally wouldn't. I have tons of self doubt and I'm constantly second guessing my decisions, judgments, behaviors, feeling like they're not right or good enough. This has caused me great anxiety when dealing with other people because I'm constantly wondering what they think of me and if my weird feelings show. I've become quite timid because all this. I've lost confidence in what I say and do around others.

One of the worst thoughts I have is that maybe this is just who I am underneath all the medication. I've been medicated for half my life, so I don't really know what normal is like for my brain. I hope it's detox. And I hope it disappears in time. I'm 3 days off of Klonopin, so I have a ways to go before I heal.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #23 on: October 23, 2008, 04:21:11 pm »
Just wanted to make sure you all knew that Dr. Ashton mentions intrusive memories and obsessions as fairly common withdrawal symptoms.  Withdrawal symptoms fade with time, though once off the benzo, many people benefit from therapy to cope with them until they do disappear.

I know what you mean, [...], about wondering who I will be when I'm healed.  I've been numbed to some extent for nearly 20 years and do need to be careful not to fall into the old habits I developed during that time.  At least now, I have hope for a better future; when I was on the benzo, I felt no hope at all.  BTW, one of the first things I noticed getting better was my ability to think/reason and remember.  That alone was very comforting, but there were just tiny changes at first. I try to acknowledge and be grateful for every little improvement and I do believe that helps bring more of them into my life.

Hope you all are feeling better real soon.  :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #24 on: November 02, 2008, 10:49:07 pm »
So last night, I had crazy thoughts... thinking about shapes that were distorted, images that didn't make sense... it lasted for hours and scared the living crap out of me. I hate it because it's like I've lost control of my mind and will I ever be able to get it back?!

The worst part was that I just had a two week window... and then this came back to hit me with a damn vengeance... and I mean ALL of my symptoms...

:(

-Pete
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #25 on: November 02, 2008, 10:51:08 pm »
So last night, I had crazy thoughts... thinking about shapes that were distorted, images that didn't make sense... it lasted for hours and scared the living crap out of me. I hate it because it's like I've lost control of my mind and will I ever be able to get it back?!

The worst part was that I just had a two week window... and then this came back to hit me with a damn vengeance... and I mean ALL of my symptoms...

:(

-Pete

I'm so sorry to hear this [...], hope it leaves quickly. It's good to see you, though!

T2 :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #26 on: November 03, 2008, 02:51:20 pm »
I have to intentionally fight my mind from going into some deep, dark corners.  Why our minds like to explore grotesque thoughts that are contrary to who we are is so strange.  I have a theory I am working on about that.....  That's another post.

I can relate to what AddieBlue said:
Quote
I have tons of self doubt and I'm constantly second guessing my decisions, judgments, behaviors, feeling like they're not right or good enough. This has caused me great anxiety when dealing with other people because I'm constantly wondering what they think of me and if my weird feelings show. I've become quite timid because all this. I've lost confidence in what I say and do around others.

One of the worst thoughts I have is that maybe this is just who I am underneath all the medication.


When we become completely benzo free and are healing, it really puts a spotlight on us and makes us wonder exactly "what is my life all about.....what am I meant for.......why am I here.......what is my true purpose......."

One thing I know for sure is that you have to do something to build confidence and not be so self-conscious.  We have to build some self esteem and sense of accomplishment.  I could not sit around and wait for the world to come to me.  I had to make some kind of statement about what I stand for and what really matters.

Thomas
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Intrusive Thoughts
« Reply #27 on: November 03, 2008, 09:55:51 pm »
 
Quote
I have tons of self doubt and I'm constantly second guessing my decisions, judgments, behaviors, feeling like they're not right or good enough. 


I knew I was feeling this way also and it was confirmed when I had a friend point it out to me recently.  She asked me to go somewhere with her and I just couldn't decide what to do.  She said, "last year at this time you would have just jumped right on board with me".  She is soo right.  I am always unsure as to my decisions. 

I'm glad to know that this will pass in time.  I have only been on meds for about 6 months, not nearly as long as you.  I can remember who I was before and know that person is still there.  Even if you don't remember, YOU are still there, maybe you'll just need to look a little deeper :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.