Haven't posted lately-Need Support please

Hello all,

I've not posted for a couple of months; still hope I will hear from some of you.  Just a recap: I've been taking Ativan for 7 plus yrs., the last two yrs. at 4-5 mg./daily.  I started tapering by .5 mg every three-four weeks in Dec. '07.  I'm down to 2 mg./day now, but this last taper has been really difficult.  I started the 2 mg. just four days ago, and I feel terrible.  I've had god-awful nightmares and thrashing around in bed, and shouting out in my sleep--sometimes waking myself up. I wake up with a pounding tension headache every morning.  I'm also having some involuntary twitching of my limbs which really scares me, especially after seeing a video of a man who had prolonged twitches after going off of benzos.  Then there's the "brain shock" feeling in my head and just generally feeling like crap.  I hate what this drug has done to my life and my family.  I haven't worked in years and know that I can't until I get off this evil drug, because I can't even function normally at home. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

Hi Topaz,

Welcome back! Sorry you're having such a rough time. I am not that familar with Ativan, but someone should be by shortly to give you some help with your symptoms and concerns. Hang in there and take care! 

Topaz,

I was on 3mg Ativan myself and I know what you're going through...somehow I managed to get down to 1.25mg before I crashed and burned and had to updose to 1.5mg just to feel somewhat ok.

Eventually, I did a crossover to Valium and althought I have had my rough patches since then (due to my own fast cuts), I can tell you that I'm much more stable.

Do not know if you have access to can convince your doctor to prescribe Valium, but perhaps a crossover can help with deal with those nasty interdose withdrawal symptoms you're having.

If not consider titrating your way down and make smaller cuts.  I used think that titration was such a difficult task but once I got the equipment and did it for a week, it's working and my withdrawals are also not as bad.

BTW, this may seem strange to you, but I'm titrating Valium because in Mexico they only sell 10mg Valium and not the 5mg an 2mg tabs you can probably buy in the UK or US.

take care

Jarocho

Hi Topaz,

Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

You say that you have not posted for a couple of months, but it must have been a different account here, as your post above is your first post.

What size are your Ativan pills? I believe they are available in 0.5mg tablets - if you do not already use these, you should obtain them, as they will allow you to make smaller cuts. If you are already using 0.5mg tablets (you could be quartering them at this stage), and are still having problems, perhaps you might consider titration your Ativan pills (making them into a liquid, allowing smaller cuts). We can help you with this.

Colin,

Hmmmm......I thought I had registered with this site in Dec., but maybe it was a different one.  I know that I did make a post somewhere, and got some replies!  Anyway, my pills are 1 mg.  I think I might have to go the titration route.  I definitely don't want to go on Valium to help with the taper.  I tried that in Jan. and it just made me so tired and sick feeling.  There must be some sites with info. on the water titration, right?  Do you know if it's common when a person gets to the halfway point in their taper, and then tries to taper more, that they get the awful w/d that I mentioned in my post?  I was so proud of myself that I got to the halfway point and thought, well, this might just be a lot easier than I thought.  I was totally not expecting to get such bad w/d symptoms when I went to 2 mg.  I had to go back up to 2.5 because I just couldn't stand it.  Within 24 hrs. I felt so much better, but I am determined to get off Ativan completely--I don't want to stay stuck.

Dear Topaz,

A few years ago, I was in the same situation you were in, and I could not find my way out of it. But, you need to know there is help for you. Back then, there was no such thing as a water titration method to help people get off shorter-acting benzos such as Ativan. I had hit a brick wall at 2.25 mg, and I wound up in "DIETOX" aka "dietox." You don't have to go there. You just need a moderator to either help you titrate or you need to switch to Valium. You do not have to continue the torture you're going through.  I am sure titrating isn't easy, but you are not on such a high dose, and there are folks here who would be willing to help you. Unfortunately, I know nothing about titration, and my poison is Valium right now. Although Valium withdrawals do not occur as frequently, for me it's hard to taper off it because it makes me depressed. But, everyone is different, and is it easier to get off Valium than Ativan.

Love,

Genie

Hi Topaz,

go to this link  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=62.0

start a thread, and someone will be by to ask you some questions, give you instructions and set up a titration schedule for you. 

Do you know if it's common when a person gets to the halfway point in their taper, and then tries to taper more, that they get the awful w/d that I mentioned in my post?  I was so proud of myself that I got to the halfway point and thought, well, this might just be a lot easier than I thought.  I was totally not expecting to get such bad w/d symptoms when I went to 2 mg.  I had to go back up to 2.5 because I just couldn't stand it.  Within 24 hrs. I felt so much better, but I am determined to get off Ativan completely--I don't want to stay stuck.

Hi, Topaz.  I, too, am tapering off of ativan/lorazepam.  My doctor gave me a script for the .5mg tablets and I am cutting them in quarters so I can reduce my dose .125mg every 2 weeks or so.  If I start having bad w/d sx, I will ask for titration instructions which sounds like it works very well to ensure a smooth taper.

From what I've read here, it is not at all unusual for one to get symptoms such as yours as you get closer to being benzo free.  Some have written that a lot of it is a sign of the brain healing itself, for example, terrible nightmares.  Some take a calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement to combat muscle twitches and cramping.  I think that just knowing that it will all pass helps and, of course, slowing down your taper to keep things from getting worse.  You will not be stuck where you are now for long.  Give yourself a break.  You have come a long way, baby! 

Thank you to everyone who offered their support and advice.  It is so good to know that there is a light at the end of this nightmare.  It's very comforting to know that a lot of you have experienced the exact same w/d symptoms, and have made it thru.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy with the way I feel--but now I know that (mostly!) it's just this awful drug.  Again, thanks to all and God bless you. 

Bye for now,

Maureen

(topaz)

Hi Maureen,

If you go the board that Eljay mentioned, and supply me with details, I can work up a complete titration schedule for you. There are no calculations for you make - the schedule includes and doses all the way down to zero!