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i am just so confused. want to go c/t


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I really need support. Long long story short...  I am 52 male had panic attacks since 19. Never took meds most of my life.  Last year decided to try an antidepresant lexapro. took half dose of 5mg. felt great and after 6 months felt cured and quit lexapro.

 

2+ months ago i wake up with a pinched nerve in my neck cant move and hurts to swallow. Pain pain. go to my md and get steriod shot demerol shot. I am medicine phobic so I freaked out. my blood pressure shot up and the doc put me on BP meds. went into a state of constant panic attacks.

 

6 weeks ago i go to a phyciatrist who puts me on xanax 4 x a day .25. I also ask for lexapro since i was crying and it helped in the past. The startup on lexapro was pretty bad and even though i hated the thought of xanax i kept taking them.  I became more depressed and felt really drugged out. Went back to the phyciatrist and told him the xanax is making me depressed and how can i stop and he tells me no.. just to add adderall. some kind of anphedimine???

 

Found a new phyciatrict on monday and he wants me off xanax and says it is making me depressed. tells me to drop 1 pill per week since I have only been on for 6 weeks but longer than 3-4. so monday i drop afternoon pill. had some good rebound anxiety but i survived. yesterday stuck with the program but now the other doses seemed more intense. My heart feels like it is going to stop after taking the xanax. I am shaking,temmors, muscle spasms and getting heart skipped beats. i am scared to death to take it but scared to not take it. the skipping heart beat and slow heart rate is just freaking me out.

 

I know this may seem trivial to people who are on for years but i am scared s***. I am staring at the xanax pill and crying. cant take it just want to go cold turkey. but know i shouldnt.

 

my current dose is .25 morning - .125 7pm - .25 bedtime.  i am supposed to drop another pill on monday. so upset i got caught up in this benzo stuff.

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Hi there,

 

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but if you go cold-turkey it will almost certainly be much worse in terms of symptoms.  Generally, for short-term usage like yours, it's undesirable to taper longer than you were on the drug, but if you think it will help to slow down a little, slow down.  In the end your taper rate is up to you.

 

Again, cold turkey will just make things worse.

 

 

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Hello Rockbush

 

  You will be okay! We all go threw some of this crap, it is just normal. Until the brain stabilizes, we get a little funky. It seems that you haven't been on to long at all, but it would seem that you will have a few synthoms to deal with. For me, I am 11 months off C/T and getting better.

  All I can tell you is keep your mind occupied. This works for me. I try to ride my bike 10 miles a day listening to some Music that I write and produce. It keeps my brain in a level state and I don't think about anything else at the time.

 

Wish you luck, and it seems that you might have a good Doc to help you get off the Xanax

 

Rocket :thumbsup:

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thanks for the support. I did take my pill this morning. I think what is happening now is during the day i get the anxiety pretty bad where i tapered/skipped doses.I can tolerate it i guess but then start to feel better in another way. then i take the xanan and my whole body becomes depressed and my mood goes into depression also. I feel like a yoyo up and down.

 

My mother and sister are long term benzo users for over 25 years. they say it is the only way they could have survived. for me i cant live on this.

 

my intention was a short term treatment till my A/D titration was done but that unfortunately got a little sticky then the depression came worse when i had to updose a few times with xanax just to sleep.

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thanks for the support. I did take my pill this morning. I think what is happening now is during the day i get the anxiety pretty bad where i tapered/skipped doses.I can tolerate it i guess but then start to feel better in another way. then i take the xanan and my whole body becomes depressed and my mood goes into depression also. I feel like a yoyo up and down.

 

My mother and sister are long term benzo users for over 25 years. they say it is the only way they could have survived. for me i cant live on this.

 

my intention was a short term treatment till my A/D titration was done but that unfortunately got a little sticky then the depression came worse when i had to updose a few times with xanax just to sleep.

Honestly I don't know how your mom and sis have survived taking it that long!  I'm surprised they know their names.  :D

 

I agree with you though, you can't live like this and benzo's are far more dangerous than people will tell you.  It's good that you're tapering and getting the heck out of dodge!  Don't rush it too fast, but DO get off as safely as possible.  This is tricky, but it can be done. Fortunately for you, you weren't on them that long.  Trust me, there are far healthier ways of coping than taking pills that numb and destroy your body, mind and spirit.

 

Wishing you well!

Cedar

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just an update. I seem to be holding it together. I am getting some shaky hands at times and a feeling like my heart is beating strange. is this a withdrawal symptom???

 

As of no I am on xanax at the following

morning = .1875mg,  7pm = .125,  bedtime  = .1875mg

 

Monday i am dropping the 7pm half pill (.125). Wish me luck

 

Robert

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ok. Went off xanax on monday completely. Was on .25 4x a day for 6 weeks before taper. As per doctors (Pdoc) i dropped .25 every week. In one way i feel better but in 5 other ways I feel pretty bad. My hands keep shaking. and i feel it in my chest. stomach distress. now I have developed a cough that is driving me crazy. my lungs feel tight when i breathe. I feel weak, like I have a flu or cold but dont think i do. My heart seems to be beating hard (not fast) and I am thinking there is something wrong with it.

 

Wondering if this is my anxiety/ panic disorder getting worse or some withdrawal effects?  Boy I just want to feel better so bad.

 

I dont know

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Ok. Went off xanax on monday completely. Was on .25 4x a day for 6 weeks before taper. As per doctors (Pdoc) i dropped .25 every week. In one way i feel better but in 5 other ways I feel pretty bad. My hands keep shaking. and i feel it in my chest. stomach distress. now I have developed a cough that is driving me crazy. my lungs feel tight when i breathe. I feel weak, like I have a flu or cold but dont think i do. My heart seems to be beating hard (not fast) and I am thinking there is something wrong with it.

 

Wondering if this is my anxiety/ panic disorder getting worse or some withdrawal effects?  Boy I just want to feel better so bad.

 

I dont know

I had ALL of those symptoms you listed from wd to benzo's.  It's extremely likely you are experiencing wd symptoms at this time. 

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just waned to give another update.  Jumped off xanax last monday after a quick taper. on the good side I am sleeping not so bad. 5-7 hours per night. The bad crying spells have kind of left. I seem to be doing more things.

 

The not so good: Hand shaking and body tremors are still there. ears ringing. the pvc's plus heart feeling like it is beating strange. Depersonalization pretty bad. 

The worst i am obsessing about is my lungs/throat. I wake up in the morning with my nose plugged with thick mucus. I am constantly clearing my throat from the feeling it is irritated. then my breathing feels like if i dint force it it will stop. I get this terrible tickle in my lungs and keep coughing. This has been going on for about a week and a half now. It is driving me into obsession and distress. i feel like running to the ER.

 

I keep having thoughts that it is my heart or i will have a asthma attack (never really had asthma before except when i had a bad cold)

 

Then i think it is from my AD lexapro and I am having an allergic reaction to it that will send me into respiratory distress. Been on the AD for 2 months now.

I feel like everytime i begin to accept a new thing and it starts to fade there is a new new monster that pops up to take its place. I just feel awful right now and want to heal from all this!!!!

 

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